How best to ruin Mass Effect 3
- Thread starter radioactive lemur
- Start date
Recommended Videos
Reduce planet exploration to a menu-driven map screen, you're not allowed to issue squad orders mid-battle ala potion drinking in The Witcher 2, weapon/armour degradation with no repair mechanics. No free-roaming of the Normandy, being stun-locked for 10 seconds at least once in each battle, being forced to stay as friendly as possible with as many party members as possible just to keep them at peak combat effectiveness. Keep the camera behind Shephard at all times during dialogue and reduce the dialogue options to just either "Okay, I agree with everything you say, just don't hurt me" or "I'M GONNA BEAT YOU TO DEATH WITH YOUR OWN ARMS".
Instead of having FTL-capable ships, make them totally dependent on giant space cannons to fire them to FTL speeds. Yes I know that's how it is anyway but that's what put me off my second play through of ME1; when Nihlus said "Without the mass relays, interstellar travel would be impossible", which made me want to throw him out the airlock! Yet I'd finished the game before and had a good time with it nonetheless.
But the number one way to ruin it: Make the game exclusively Move/Kinect-controlled!! Mind you, you could ruin just about any game that way!
Instead of having FTL-capable ships, make them totally dependent on giant space cannons to fire them to FTL speeds. Yes I know that's how it is anyway but that's what put me off my second play through of ME1; when Nihlus said "Without the mass relays, interstellar travel would be impossible", which made me want to throw him out the airlock! Yet I'd finished the game before and had a good time with it nonetheless.
But the number one way to ruin it: Make the game exclusively Move/Kinect-controlled!! Mind you, you could ruin just about any game that way!
1. Make it a 2d sidescrolling platformer.
2. Make reapers into robotic minions of even bigger space race.
3. Transform the Normandy into the Red Dwarf
4. Make Shepard participate in "Equal Rights Parade" as an subplot explaining why he suddenly turned bi
5. Make Cerberus evil for no apparent reason and turn it into a force hellbent on destroying the only salvation from the rea- Oh wait...
2. Make reapers into robotic minions of even bigger space race.
3. Transform the Normandy into the Red Dwarf
4. Make Shepard participate in "Equal Rights Parade" as an subplot explaining why he suddenly turned bi
5. Make Cerberus evil for no apparent reason and turn it into a force hellbent on destroying the only salvation from the rea- Oh wait...
Make shepard somehow a 'chosen one' who carries the legacy of the... christ, i can't even remember what they're called. The P-guys. There are too many different names for the concept in different cheesy sci fi stories (not that I dislike mass effect in the slightest)
hm...
1. If you had a relationship in any of the last games you get none this time. So your sex scene is your shepard wanking to a picture. (also if you had none you get legit ponani this time with everyone).
2. The reapers are fake, Cerberus made it all up.
3. Your homo scene is your character getting raped, forcefully. (maybe there into that stuff....eh....)
4. Earth gets blown up.
5. Shepard dies, again. again..
6. When shepard dies the game switches over to commander shepra, a volus commander.
7. He dies to, so now you get to watch concept art of how the reapers won and the universe ends.
8. You fight a final boss with 30 attack points that all have as much health as the boss of ME2, no mid-fight saves.
9. When you win you lose, because you die anyway. But if you die in the fight you have to do it all over again.
10. No xbox or PS3 releases.
1. If you had a relationship in any of the last games you get none this time. So your sex scene is your shepard wanking to a picture. (also if you had none you get legit ponani this time with everyone).
2. The reapers are fake, Cerberus made it all up.
3. Your homo scene is your character getting raped, forcefully. (maybe there into that stuff....eh....)
4. Earth gets blown up.
5. Shepard dies, again. again..
6. When shepard dies the game switches over to commander shepra, a volus commander.
7. He dies to, so now you get to watch concept art of how the reapers won and the universe ends.
8. You fight a final boss with 30 attack points that all have as much health as the boss of ME2, no mid-fight saves.
9. When you win you lose, because you die anyway. But if you die in the fight you have to do it all over again.
10. No xbox or PS3 releases.
Make it an FPS, no RPG options, same gun through out the entire game, 6 hour campaign, take away biotics/omnitool, on rails, everyone dies on the ship at the beginning, so no crew members from past games (except Kaiden), no save points except beginning of levels, too easy, no romance, you don't get to play Commander Shephard but instead Kaiden.
I'm so mean.
I'm so mean.
-The Normandy crashes onto a strange planet, over half of the crew dies. You're stuck with Jacob and Miranda.
-Mass Effect's intro turns into a "horde" mode where you and your party fight until everyone is dead.
-Once everyone is dead, you get a new party. The story of this new party isn't revealed at all (wait for prequels), and you're their newest recruit. They're generic, helmeted humans who are space marines. Everyone is male, and everyone has a bland, monotone voice. They're also all very patriotic and show it. They're not on this mission for Earth, they're on it for the USA.
-This new party goes to investigate the Normandy crash site and find everyone dead. So they fly back to Earth to fight the Reapers (they weren't so important to keep on Earth).
-The space marines find an entrance zone at the belly of a Reaper ship, and when it opens to let other ships out, it goes in. Now you're just in a corridor shooter, fighting all kinds of husks, until you reach a boss fight and you fight another gigantic Reaper-terminator-look-alike.
-You save the world, but there's a cliffhanger: Your party's ship's power goes out, and everything is dead within the ship after you fly out of the Reaper's belly. You're floating out into space, and no one notices. Then, you all go into hibernation chambers. "To be continued..." flashes on a black screen and some screamo band plays the credit music.
Mass Effect 3 ruined enough here?
Oh, and you only get two different guns, there's no customization of any kind, no dialog option, and no third person view.
-Mass Effect's intro turns into a "horde" mode where you and your party fight until everyone is dead.
-Once everyone is dead, you get a new party. The story of this new party isn't revealed at all (wait for prequels), and you're their newest recruit. They're generic, helmeted humans who are space marines. Everyone is male, and everyone has a bland, monotone voice. They're also all very patriotic and show it. They're not on this mission for Earth, they're on it for the USA.
-This new party goes to investigate the Normandy crash site and find everyone dead. So they fly back to Earth to fight the Reapers (they weren't so important to keep on Earth).
-The space marines find an entrance zone at the belly of a Reaper ship, and when it opens to let other ships out, it goes in. Now you're just in a corridor shooter, fighting all kinds of husks, until you reach a boss fight and you fight another gigantic Reaper-terminator-look-alike.
-You save the world, but there's a cliffhanger: Your party's ship's power goes out, and everything is dead within the ship after you fly out of the Reaper's belly. You're floating out into space, and no one notices. Then, you all go into hibernation chambers. "To be continued..." flashes on a black screen and some screamo band plays the credit music.
Mass Effect 3 ruined enough here?
Oh, and you only get two different guns, there's no customization of any kind, no dialog option, and no third person view.
Love it that cracked me upInsomniJack said:
OT: It turns out Shepard has a pre-existing condition and has only 3 hours to live the game must be completed within this time.
Much more mako and planet scanning also the mako now needs fuel and blows up if you knock it, scanning yields much less resources and upgrades need much more also while youre at it add time trial flag collecting mako missions that must be completed. (the longer the better i.e collect all 100 hidden flags on the planet in 30 minutes you fail youre back at the start)
Simplify it even more but bury it under even more menus and every time you try and do something get the game to ask you if you are sure you want to do that.
Loads of civilian escort missions but you have no control over them and they always stand directly in the line of fire if one dies you fail.
The final boss is a giant rubiks cube in space that has to be solved to complete the game heck stick another timer on there as well.
The inevitable Downloadable Content that makes a different ending where you, in fact, are the enemy and the Reapers are the good guys.
Or just Downloadable Content in general.
Or just Downloadable Content in general.
