How best to ruin Mass Effect 3

[Moonlight Butterfly]

The entire reaper threat was a 'hilarious' prank concocted by Joker and Kaiden that just got a tad out of hand....

-The Normandy crashes onto a strange planet, over half of the crew dies. You're stuck with Jacob and Miranda.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.....etc

The Reapers decide to use cats to make a reaper. It ends up Nyanning around the sky while Harbinger shouts at it to no effect.

 

[Da Orky Man]

If I wanted to ruin ME3, I would make it so that near the end of the game you have to drive the Mako through space, ramping from asteroid to asteroid to get to the Reaper mothership so you can blow it up and save the universe.

That bit sounds awesome

 

[Dramerc]

got two

1. Replace Shepard with the Fat Kid off American Dad.
2. Give the reapers a origin of being made by Scott Evil in an attempt to get his dads love.

 

[synobal]

Turn it into Gears of War, with reapers

 

[ashikoto]

Tali, Mordin, Garrus, and or Wrex are not an available team members and only part of the supporting cast.

Anything having to do with Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams

Not seeing what the Quarians Finally look like.

 

[Moonlight Butterfly]

2. Give the reapers a origin of being made by Scott Evil in an attempt to get his dads love.

Scott Evil is technically Joker...so that would work well!

...zip it.

 

[radioactive lemur]

Doing everything people in this sub-forum [http://social.bioware.com/forum/1/category/325/index] want you to do. Warning: click on threads at own risk.

This is why I got turned off Mass Effect. The fanbase, in a fucking singleplayer game.
How the shit does that even happen?

Haha seriously. BSN is a scary place, man. [http://www.somethingawful.com/d/weekend-web/bioware-social-forums.php]

AHHHHH is it my imagination or did that dude actually go through the trouble to make a very complicated sciency analysis to determine what Tali's SWEAT and PISS would SMELL and TASTE like? There's even a FLOWCHART!!! That's seriously fucked up. I mean, I love video games too, and I suppose I qualify as a fanboy by some definitions, but that dude needs some professional help.

 

[Rabid Chipmunk]

End it on a cliffhanger a la The Sopranos.

 

[Karthek]

I'd make the final boss a Reaper-Pony hybrid:That way, Mass Effect could never be taken seriously again.
*evil laugh

 

[Faux Furry]

An easy way to ruin Mass Effect 3 is to have the fate of all civilizations in the universe rest on Shepard's decision to Roshambo against the Reapers for it, with the only other options for resolving the conflict being Rock,Paper,Scissors, Musical Chairs and a Rap battle.

If Shepard is female, either the Reaper would have to kick a different spot on its turn or it changes the terms to a slap-fight to the death. Considering that Reapers are gigantic techno-organic life forms, both Roshambo and Slap-Fighting are the certain suicide options.

That means the final 'battle' would either be one of mic skills between a SPECTRE and an ancient mechanical entity who pre-dates not only Rap music but human-kind itself, sitting down in the last chair before the other cybernetic organism does or approximating the shape of Earthling tools or mineral concretions with one's extremities.

 

[radioactive lemur]

Alright I got some more:

-Shepard makes some bad business deals, and the Volus come to forclose on the Normandy
-All quarians, including Tali, are revealed to actually be teams of 2 Voluses standing on each other's shoulders and that's why they never take off their suits.
-Elcor squadmate/romance option
-Thane was wrong about his disease not being communicable and the entire crew dies of Space AIDS

 

[Loonerinoes]

Have the big reveal wind up being that the Reapers are actually controlled by Flemeth from the Dragon Age universe in a vapid effort to merge both of the fandoms into one big superfandom.

 

[The Lugz]

show tali's face, and you know what? they're going there.. i wont buy it if you do it bioware.. i swear!

that's like revealing kenny's face.. you all know how anti climactic that was.

 

[joeychuckles]

I put up a post a bit ago about some of the things we can expect from ME3:

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/9.299335-10-Must-Know-facts-for-Mass-Effect-3#11891902

Some may ruin, some may not? But your "benevolent Reapers" made me laugh.

You are the head writer/developer for Mass Effect 3. For years Bioware executives have abused you, forced you to work 80 hour weeks, paid you far less than you were worth, perhaps even picked at a physical issue to humiliate you in front of your peers etc. For years you've longed to quit but couldn't because you had no other marketable skills and needed to support your family. However, yesterday you won $40 million dollars in the lottery, far more than you could ever spend. You drive right down to Bioware to quit, but realize you want more than freedom, you want REVENGE. So you keep your winnings a secret and resume business as usual, but now you are trying to come up with something that will piss off as many fanboys as possible, turning people away from Bioware/EA for years to come. What is it?

My ideas:
-Tali is genetically male with gender dysphoria and is living a lie with the female suit and fake female voice. This is revealed and he becomes Shepard's same sex romance option.
-The Reapers true motivations are benevolent and they want to transport humans to a land of eternal pleasure or something like that.

 

[Babitz]

The Mass Effect series is already a ruined version of KOTOR, so there's not much else to be done. Well, maybe one thing. Remove all the unnecessary 'romance' subplots to annoy the hell out of fanboys and fangirls who write horrible fanfiction.