Its a single player game, you don't need to convince anyone of anything.itsmeyouidiot said:
Something tells me it's YOU who needs convincing, ever since Yahtzee bashed it you've begun to doubt the games integrity, haven't you? You sit awake at night, unable to sleep, turning the thought over and over in your mind; "Is it really crap? Can my beloved Zelda series finally have run out of fun or interesting ideas?" It drives you mad, but no matter how much you reject the concept, that sickening seed of doubt continues to twist it's roots into your soul. You look on at the others from the shadows with grimace of distaste, how they can laugh and sing and dance in the sunlight, trumpeting their Skyrims and their Call of Duties, all the while wiping the good name of the Zelda franchise against their collective asses. Enraged, you follow one of them home, always hidden. She walks in the front door, cracking open her new copy Dark Souls. You climb a tree outside her window, all the while thinking her a whore, a corporate slut willing to throw her money to any old fantasy game put in front of her. Your mind tells you she's filth, that you must cleanse the world in Gods name of her kind. This thought gives you comfort, to know that your doubt is misplaced and your cause righteous/ You crack a smile, sitting in the branches, hidden from sight. You can see her in her room, at her desk through the window. A blue smock, discarded after a long days hard work, gives her name: Dana Wilcox. Still smiling, you carve her initials into your palm with a butcher knife.
She thinks she's so superior, you think, so smug, playing her Dark Souls on her xbox. "More like SEXbox, because shes such a whore!" You whisper to yourself. The rage begins to build inside you again, uncontrollable this time, overflowing your self control. You become ecstatic with the righteous fury of the Lord, launching yourself through her open window in Holy Furor.
She never stood a chance, poor Dana Wilcox. A straight A student trying to save for college, blowing off a little steam on a hot summers eve with a little romp through the whimsical fantasy world of Dark Souls. And now she's dead. Afterwards, you realized what you had done. "Why?" you thought to yourself, 'Why couldn't she just have played skyward sword instead?!? Why did she make me do this? Why couldn't she love Skyward Sword?!?" You tried to fix the scene, make it look like a suicide, a poor overworked young woman driven to the brink by stress and desperation. The antidepressants placed on her nightstand were a nice touch, anyone would have believed it. You would have gotten away scott free. You were careful, you were smart.
But I was smarter.
I put the puzzle pieces together, followed the clues, and it all leads back to you.
You thought you could get away with it, but you thought wrong. You miscalculated, and now you gotta deal with the result of your rounding error:
JUSTICE.
Another case cracked by ME, Syzygy, Ace Internet Detective.
Take him away boys!
