How do I tell this guy he has no future in what he wants?

[flarty]

17? Fuck me, let me give you a run down of my life.
1: at the age of 14 started smoking weed and taking drugs
2: failed the majority of my GCSES at the age of 16
3: 16 - 24 worked low skilled jobs
4: 24-28 got married and had a child and divorced (that order)
5: 28-29 retook my GCSEs in english and maths and passed (in 6 weeks as opposed to 33 weeks) also did an access course so i can go to university
6: Now going to university to study environmental science to get my masters before the age of 35 with 35 years to go before my retirement.

Now i have made some mistakes, but it's not to late. Life is all about mistakes and learning from them. 17? this lad has plenty of time to make many mistakes, sure they wont be the same mistakes as mine where i just basically partied to much but he can still learn from them and steer his life in accordance, and since he is still looking to the future unlike i was at his age he will probably gets where he wants/needs to be a lot faster.

On a more depressing note, anyone under the age of 30 is fucked lol

 

[Fox12]

Snip? Snip!

I get where your coming from, but what's the alternative? To Prepare him to be a waiter for the rest of his life? If he can't succeed at something he enjoys, then he won't make it as something he hates. There are some lessons that can only be learned the hard way. If he's doomed to fail then he'll learn soon enough. But don't rob him of the experiance. It may be the wake up call him and his parents need. He'll either rise above or fail, but either way he'll build character.

 

[renegade7]

1) He's "special". This is what we call autistic people where I live. I'm not sure what disorder he has, but it is very evident. He is 17 but behaves like a 10 year old.

How disabled is he? Are we talking about a high-functioning autism/ Asperger's case or more like classic autism? When you say "behaves like a 10 year old" do you mean in the way of a clinical developmental impediment or he's just immature and dependent on others (parents, teachers, etc) in a way that's inappropriate for his age?

A lot of people on the autism spectrum are able to succeed in college, some go on to do quite well. But that depends on what areas of any given student's life have been impacted by the condition and how well it's managed. If the problem is chiefly social, then that's something that won't cause too many problems. On the other hand, if it's cognitive or related to his life-management abilities, then there are some serious conversations that may need to be had.

And also, remember that for many high-functioning autistics, delayed development does not necessarily mean stunted development. Symptoms often improve during young adulthood.

2) He is not good at drawing. At all. Everyone who's seen it knows it as well, and it was awkward as hell when he showed me his drawings. I couldn't even lie and compliment him.

Is it to the extent that he'd be unteachable? If he was good at drawing to begin with then there wouldn't be any point in going to school for it. The question that a hypothetical college would be concerned with is how they think he'll respond to instruction. If he's really interested in drawing then he'll do well.

3) He has no prior experience with animating. And he hasn't even applied to the college he wants yet!

Why would they expect experience with animating? If he was already a capable animator there would be no sense in going to school for it.

Though that second part might be a problem. It's April. MThe last application period, if college where you live is anything like in the US, ended months ago. Then again, a gap year to spend some time preparing for the expectations of college life, ie seeing some counselors and discussing possible treatment and symptom management options, might be in his best interests.

4) His brainchild, a universe where literally every "geek" franchise is mashed together, is horrible. It is what it is, bad fanfiction. He's put so much effort into it it's sad.

I went to college for a dual degree in computer engineering and physics. The amount of truly horrible fan fiction I inadvertently encountered through my classmates was astounding. Example, in my junior year during one of my professional electives I sat behind a guy who would, every day, spend the entire lecture on his laptop browsing and writing fan fiction on Deviant Art, and his gallery (which he often had opened) contained a pretty substantial amount of really messed-up Rule 34 and what appeared to be furry porn. Despite that he was obsessed with fan fiction, terrifying fetish art, and spent lecture periods browsing furry porn on Deviant Art he still managed to get decent grades. It's doubtful his hobby will have any great impact on his education.

5) We don't live in Japan. There is a pretty big anime/manga following here, but there are no natively produced anime series. I'm not sure about this, but I bet that he won't be taken seriously even if he did move to Japan.

Well, it's a tough industry to get into with or without a developmental problem.

I think the thing to really keep an eye out for is whether or not he gets accepted to college. If he can get himself accepted, then that's a pretty good indicator that he's got his life together enough to handle college.

 

[Little Woodsman]

I just want to say this real quick.

I don't think you should tell someone (autistic/challenged or not) to not pursue a path they are considering unless you can suggest a viable alternative. If you don't want him to try at art/animation figure out what you think he *should* be doing, prepare good reasoning to explain why you think he should pursue B instead of A and present it to him as a better option.

I went through that garbage eight years ago with loads of people telling me I *shouldn't* pursue the path I was considering without offering any suggestions of what they thought I *should* be doing.

 

[Bob_McMillan]

1) He's "special". This is what we call autistic people where I live. I'm not sure what disorder he has, but it is very evident. He is 17 but behaves like a 10 year old.

How disabled is he? Are we talking about a high-functioning autism/ Asperger's case or more like classic autism? When you say "behaves like a 10 year old" do you mean in the way of a clinical developmental impediment or he's just immature and dependent on others (parents, teachers, etc) in a way that's inappropriate for his age?

A lot of people on the autism spectrum are able to succeed in college, some go on to do quite well. But that depends on what areas of any given student's life have been impacted by the condition and how well it's managed. If the problem is chiefly social, then that's something that won't cause too many problems. On the other hand, if it's cognitive or related to his life-management abilities, then there are some serious conversations that may need to be had.

And also, remember that for many high-functioning autistics, delayed development does not necessarily mean stunted development. Symptoms often improve during young adulthood.

2) He is not good at drawing. At all. Everyone who's seen it knows it as well, and it was awkward as hell when he showed me his drawings. I couldn't even lie and compliment him.

Is it to the extent that he'd be unteachable? If he was good at drawing to begin with then there wouldn't be any point in going to school for it. The question that a hypothetical college would be concerned with is how they think he'll respond to instruction. If he's really interested in drawing then he'll do well.

3) He has no prior experience with animating. And he hasn't even applied to the college he wants yet!

Why would they expect experience with animating? If he was already a capable animator there would be no sense in going to school for it.

Though that second part might be a problem. It's April. MThe last application period, if college where you live is anything like in the US, ended months ago. Then again, a gap year to spend some time preparing for the expectations of college life, ie seeing some counselors and discussing possible treatment and symptom management options, might be in his best interests.

4) His brainchild, a universe where literally every "geek" franchise is mashed together, is horrible. It is what it is, bad fanfiction. He's put so much effort into it it's sad.

I went to college for a dual degree in computer engineering and physics. The amount of truly horrible fan fiction I inadvertently encountered through my classmates was astounding. Example, in my junior year during one of my professional electives I sat behind a guy who would, every day, spend the entire lecture on his laptop browsing and writing fan fiction on Deviant Art, and his gallery (which he often had opened) contained a pretty substantial amount of really messed-up Rule 34 and what appeared to be furry porn. Despite that he was obsessed with fan fiction, terrifying fetish art, and spent lecture periods browsing furry porn on Deviant Art he still managed to get decent grades. It's doubtful his hobby will have any great impact on his education.

5) We don't live in Japan. There is a pretty big anime/manga following here, but there are no natively produced anime series. I'm not sure about this, but I bet that he won't be taken seriously even if he did move to Japan.

Well, it's a tough industry to get into with or without a developmental problem.

I think the thing to really keep an eye out for is whether or not he gets accepted to college. If he can get himself accepted, then that's a pretty good indicator that he's got his life together enough to handle college.

As I said, I still have no idea what his condition is. We weren't even told about his disability until he was about 13. All I know that it's not that bad that he can't graduate from a normal high school. It is also his upbringing that worsens his disability.

The problem with him getting taught is that he is really "territorial" with his drawings. I'm not sure how he would respond to criticism, or people telling him to change his art style.

This is a problem because you have to be interviewed and accepted into the course, it's not an ordinary course. The school is experimenting with it and has limited slots. I'm pretty sure they would rather pick up someone with prior experience than have to teach someone who can't even figure out how to use his phone to browse the internet.

I didn't put this because I thought it's a bad hobby, it's because it's the "future" he wants. He plans to make his universe into an anime one day, and I just can't see that happening.

I said he wouldn't be taken seriously not because of his disorder, but because (this is just an assumption) of his race. We are Asian, but we are on the other side of the spectrum. I mean, have you ever heard of a Vietnamese or Malaysian anime producer?

 

[Abbyka]

Being an artist myself AND having had friends in high school who were also artists I can tell you the field is COMPETITIVE as hell. And they really frown on anime-like stuff in your portfolio. So if that's all he has to offer then he really is just screwed. He probably won't even get accepted into a college with that kind of portfolio, so I wouldn't worry too much about it.

Now I knew someone I went to high school with that went to college for animation. That was 11 maybe 12 years ago. She's working at a bakery in a Target somewhere now. It's a huge waste of time. And she was way better than I am at drawing. Glad I didn't go to college for animation because of that since I'd still be saddled with the crippling student loans.

This doesn't mean he can't do what he loves, though. Maybe redirecting him to consider it a hobby would be better. I got to running my own draw blog for a while and even made some commissions off it for a while. But I eventually quit since being a mom of three kids got too challenging to keep up with it on a regular enough basis to keep my fan base happy. Plus it started to turn into a job rather than fun. But that's way off track of my point. He could do a draw blog and possibly even get good enough to accept commissions. I've seen tumblrs with some bad art styles still make a decent enough amount of money despite their lack of skills. Thing is, they still worked for a living doing something else. Basically just tell him he could learn to animate on his own and post his work on his own blog on his time off and he wouldn't end up with a huge amount of debt. Running your own tumblr is completely free if you know how to do it right. And by running his own blog he could improve and maybe if he still wants to try later on down the road he always could go back to school. But he should try for something a little more of a guarantee to find him work so he has a back up plan to keep him from living with mommy and daddy's basement forever. The bakery at Target doesn't pay good enough for you to live on your own while paying off student loans.

I don't think you're a jerk for being concerned. You should be concerned. Becoming an animator in this day and age is an uphill battle. There are tons of artists out there and MANY of them are way better than you and STILL out of work. It's way too big of a risk. And these days it's all computer animation. I'm betting colleges already expect you to know your way around a computer(more so than the average facebooker or forumer) on top of being able to draw by hand.

 

[renegade7]

As I said, I still have no idea what his condition is. We weren't even told about his disability until he was about 13. All I know that it's not that bad that he can't graduate from a normal high school. It is also his upbringing that worsens his disability.

In that case, I'd say wait and see. If he at least has the faculties to graduate from a normal high school, then he's not in that bad of a shape. And he might really start to come into his own once he's gotten away from a toxic home environment.

The problem with him getting taught is that he is really "territorial" with his drawings. I'm not sure how he would respond to criticism, or people telling him to change his art style.

Well, in that case either he learns or he doesn't.

This is a problem because you have to be interviewed and accepted into the course, it's not an ordinary course. The school is experimenting with it and has limited slots. I'm pretty sure they would rather pick up someone with prior experience than have to teach someone who can't even figure out how to use his phone to browse the internet.

Maybe have him apply somewhere a bit less selective?

I didn't put this because I thought it's a bad hobby, it's because it's the "future" he wants. He plans to make his universe into an anime one day, and I just can't see that happening.

I think when I was in college maybe a quarter to a third of all students graduated in the degree they started off in. In college, he'll be exposed to other possible options, and IMO that might be exactly what he needs.

 

[Ravenbom]

Don't try and fix your family, it's really not your job and you'll just come off as the bad guy.

Maybe suggest he learn Japanese in order to land a job in localization. From there, being bi-lingual opens a shitload of jobs; everything from working for the CIA to journalism need people who's job is really nothing more than watching foreign news and TV and reading foreign newspapers and typing summaries.