How do you argue that you're not homophobic/racist/etc?

[Headsprouter]

Anyway, since you've already gone to the trouble of making this thread, what exactly was it you said that caused them to pull a funny face and give you the stonewall treatment, and who is this person? What are they to you that makes their judgement so important?

Everyone's judgement is important to me. A complete stranger in the frigging internet can punt me down to the ground in seconds, but there isn't far to go till I hit the ground, so...

...Ye.

The reason I haven't even said what I said was because it embarrasses me, so as facepalmy and stupid as it is, please understand, I know it is all of those things.

Spoiler: It might not sit here for long, so open the box while you can.

"That guy's wearing two layers of pink? He must be double gay!"

The reason it makes me so sad is that I know it's impossible to have everyone like you, but when I screw up and somebody gets a negative opinion of me, I can't really take it. Especially when it's something so personal.

 

[Skops]

I tell them I'm Canadian.

 

[StriderShinryu]

I don't really try to argue it at all. I know that I probably have the same low level biases and tolerances as a lot of other people who grew up with the same experiences I did. I do what I can and act the way that I do in everyday life such that anyone who actually knows me would have all the "proof" they need to know I'm a pretty fair and open minded individual who doesn't judge others based on their race/gender/sexuality/etc. If someone comes at me with some sort of agenda that requires I "prove" myself to them on those grounds then, quite frankly, they aren't really worth my time and probably wouldn't be persuaded by anything I would ever say/do anyway.

 

[Wereduck]

-snip-
The reason I haven't even said what I said was because it embarrasses me, so as facepalmy and stupid as it is, please understand, I know it is all of those things.

Spoiler: It might not sit here for long, so open the box while you can.

"That guy's wearing two layers of pink? He must be double gay!"

The reason it makes me so sad is that I know it's impossible to have everyone like you, but when I screw up and somebody gets a negative opinion of me, I can't really take it. Especially when it's something so personal.

On social issues at least I'm a rabid liberal. Out of all the "SJW meanies want to ruin our fun" bitchthreads I've seen here in the last few months I can only think of one person on the 'justice' side of the argument who struck me as clearly just a belligerent whiner trying to prove that they were better than everyone else. From what I've seen a lot of people would call me a backwards-bending apologist, exactly the type of person who would be outraged by some innocent, inoffensive remark.
That said; I see nothing wrong with your spoilered 'offensive' comment. Not the funniest thing I've read today but clearly said in jest and without malice (as long as the subject of your comment was out of earshot). Does anyone really think that the action you mocked actually means a person is gay? If such people exist I'd better start being careful who finds out that I pee sitting down!

 

[Quadocky]

Can you, even?

Yes, by not using racist or homophobic slurs or arguments to cast such people in the negative. If you make the mistake of doing so you pretty much leave yourself open to be criticized for it.

 

[Vegosiux]

I don't. I simply treat everyone except my inner circle with the same amount of common courtesy (well, unless people who pissed me off, I treat those with distant indifference). My inner circle (family&friends) gets special treatment. I'm a "lead by example" kind of guy, and if I had to actually argue that, well, I suppose that would kind of mean my examples are a tad lacking in that area.

Spoiler: It might not sit here for long, so open the box while you can.

"That guy's wearing two layers of pink? He must be double gay!"

That's not double gay, that's double not-giving-a-fuck-what-anyone-thinks-of-my-fashion-choice!

 

[Fdzzaigl]

The burden of proof is with the person accusing you of something.

However, it's a difficult matter as definitions of what puts you in those categories can vary. For example: even though I am absolutely fine with gay people and them expressing themselves as such, I'd still rather not watch two men kiss or otherwise engage in intimate actions (outside of the obvious sex). On account of racism however, I truly do not care about color or ethnicity one bit, in any way.

Imo, our personalities and opinions are just a product of the series of (often random) events we've experienced since our births. What matters is not our opinion or even personality, but how we can rationalize and explain our actions to others.

Perhaps in some cases, that explanation will be unsufficient. Then it's up to both you and them to open up yourselves to changing your point of view somewhat. That change is what we seem to have trouble with as a species however.

 

[Imperioratorex Caprae]

I don't, I laugh at people who call me that because I know they've nothing other than their own stupidity as evidence to such a thing. I don't need to explain myself or defend myself against those accusations, they have to prove them and if they choose to go anywhere public and spread that crap through libel or slander then I can smash them in court.

 

[Me55enger]

By not allowing my interaction with a person to be defined by thier sexuality/race/disability.

 

[kasperbbs]

I never had to because noone ever accused me of any of those things and i don't give them a reason to.

 

[Saltyk]

Well, I've always believed that you can't "prove" that you are something through words or claims alone. For example, you can't prove that you are mature. If you are truly mature, then your actions will prove that. (Note: Liking cartoons or video games don't make you immature)

It's the same with any ill defined trait of a person. Intelligence, athleticism, or whatever else.

So, you can't really prove that you aren't homophobic. Your actions should prove that on a day to day basis. Actions speak louder than words.

That being said, if someone calls you homophobic for some single minor event, they aren't really looking to have a discussion or let you prove a point. Accusing someone of being homophobic, racist, or whatever based on little evidence or an out of context statement is pretty much shutting down the conversation before it even started. It's like saying "Check your privilege". You don't actually want to prove a point, educate people, or have a discussion. You want to shut the other guy (or girl) up. Just replace those sort of statements with "talk to the hand" as it means the same thing.

And anyone who disagrees with me is a racist, homophobic, [insert group you hate here], Nazi who should check their privilege.

 

[the_deku_nutt]

Allow me to direct you to a quote from a wise man names Stephen Fry.

?It's now very common to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that.'
As if that gives them certain rights. It's actually nothing more... than a whine.
'I find that offensive.' It has no meaning; it has no purpose; it has no reason to be respected as a phrase.
'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking what."


If I say something that offends someone, I don't care. If I offend a black person, big deal. If I offend a white person, big deal. I don't care what color your skin is or how you like your sexual fantasies to play out, if you're retarded then I'm calling you out on it. My idea of equality means that everyone gets zero respect until they prove that they deserve it.

 

[Glademaster_v1legacy]

Easy. I kiss a black guy. Does the trick every time.

WOOOOOOOWWWW, WOOOWWWW, snarky comments, WOWWWWWWWW

srsly tho das gay

Not if you say "No Homo".

 

[TheHeinousAnus]

Just because I like dogs doesn't mean I hate cats.

 

[GundamSentinel]

I'm under no delusion that I harbor absolutely no racist or homophobic views. Everyone has prejudices against people who are not like them (yes, that includes black and homosexual people), but not everyone expresses them. I try not to express them either. Not out there to prove something that just isn't true.

People who say they truly aren't racist have never taken a proper look in the mirror.

 

[gritch]

I would be of the opinion that if an argument devolves to the point that the people are labeling the other person "racist" or "homophobic" the argument is basically dead at that point. There's no really way to convince them otherwise and if they end up resorting to ad hominem retorts they obviously couldn't find a more sound complaint. Don't bother to continue the argument.

 

[chozo_hybrid]

I don't argue it, I state it as fact. If someone has a problem with someone I say, they can deal with it, it's not up to me to make the world all fluffy bunnies for them.

 

[Mad World]

I state that I am against the actions (homosexual marriage, for example), but not the people. And, it's true. I love all people - including gays. However, that doesn't mean that I have to tolerate their actions.

 

[Buffoon1980]

I've never had to. Because I'm not.

And, it's true. I love all people - including gays. However, that doesn't mean that I have to tolerate their actions.

I'm sure you're a decent human being, but I'm so glad we live in a place (well, I'm assuming you also live in such a place) where in fact you do have to 'tolerate their actions'. Certainly you have no legal recourse to stop them (once again assuming you live in a more sensible part of the world). That makes me happy. Am I right in assuming your displeasure stems from some sort of religious thing?

 

[FuzzyRaccoon]

It also depends on how much you care about them. If someone calls you a racist and you give no poops about them, then they can just screw themselves can't they?

If you care about them, and they presumably care about you, they'll already know what kind of person you are and you guys can deal with it.

A friend of mine gets really offended because I say "you should" instead of requesting things. In spanish, "debes" is the equivalent which is actually quite polite in usage (at least in Jalisco). This form is a holdover from one language to another when I use it. It offends her and yet she deals with it because she recognizes that I'm not doing it to be cruel and that she doesn't have the right to dictate how I flippin structure my sentences. Sometimes we still fight about it but we value each other enough that it doesn't mean the end of our being buddies.

I recognize that this is a cultural difference but it's got the same sentiment. You'll figure it out with those people or you guys obviously make terrible friends so you can probably let them go.