How Do You Assassinate?

[lolokitten]

1. Find a 300 feet tall turtle with a monocle
2. Stomp on the building my target is in
3. Have a cup of tea

 

[superline51]

Sniper round right between the eyes, BOOM!

 

[The Rogue Wolf]

I throw a rock at him.

And by "rock" I mean "large asteroid", and by "throw" I mean "fling from orbit at a very high fraction of the speed of light".

I like to be thorough.

 

[Double A]

I like striking from above, but if I can't do that I'll hide somewhere and ambush them.

 

[Caligulove]

"Accidents"

That was probably why I loved Hitman: Blood Money so much. Each mission had the 'Silent Assassin' route for completion- something about it made you just swagger around with that great fuck yea feeling of bringing whole new meaning to the term of Smooth Criminal.

 

[imperialreign]

Compund bow & aluminum shaft arrow . . . nice, clean, silent . . .

. . . close enough to be personal, distant enough to be indifferent.

Also cheap, relatively untraceable and lethal.

Only downfall is the skill level involved to properly place your shot - and having to take environment into account . . .

But on the bright side - no muzzle flash, no gunpowder residue

Hey, we're killing a man here. There's no point in doing it half-assed, I would assume that if you're serious about doing this you would practice that shit.

I find it's best to practice by doing . . .

. . . one can easily go out hunting deer or whatever. I figure, if you can down a 10-point buck quietly and quickly from 300+ yards, you should have no problem taking out a human target. Sadly, I've also come to the conclusion that humans are actually much easier prey than wildlife . . . thanks to all our modern comforts, the element of "survival of the fittest" and keeping one's wits about you are non-existant in the majority of targets.

 

[Pandaman1911]

Lots and lots of plastic explosives. If I'm going to do a job, I'm going to do it goddamn right.

 

[Furious Styles]

Before I got the first Hitman game, I played the bejeezus out of the demo mission. I got to the point where I could bring absolutely nothing with me, steal the kitchen knife from the restaurant and still get my three targets downed.

Same here, there was no mission in the game that couldn't be done with the strangling wire alone and a lot didn't even require that.

 

[Chronologger]

Personally I would go for something Demonic, The Darkness was one of my favorite games for this.

Skewering someone on the end of my tentacle and proceeding to juggle them around in the air with it until finally throwing their corpse against a wall and devouring their heart? I think that was the greatest way to kill someone in any video game I've ever played.

 

[Fetzenfisch]

If possible, a duel.

I will not kill a man like a *****.

It costs nothing to show him respect in his final moments.

Might cost you your life, but if you don't like to live, go on fight fair.

 

[LewsTherin]

Break into their home and await their arrival, hiding out of sight. With a touch, paralyze them magically, them explain to them why I have come before silencing them. My oblivion thief was a classy gent.

 

[Admiral Stukov]

Long range sniper rifle with high explosive rounds.

 

[misterbobperson]

I kill any mooks who happen to be walking through the same dark alley when noone's looking, kill all the mooks around the bbeg, get caught, kill the bbeg and run for dear life

 

[Quazimofo]

if possible? cut them in half from the groin to the head with a scythe (cuz i likez mez soemz sithez)

which makes me think, if someone were to not die instantly from that, would their two brain halfs think independently as 2 different people? or would they somehow still be linked as one person

Look up people with split-brain (severed corpus callosium). It's kinda like you're two different people without that bridge between the hemispheres of the brain. For people not chopped entirely in half, only one side can talk usually...

thats actually quite interesting. i almost want to meet the half of my brain that would be able to talk, too bad that if i did have my brain non lethally split i would loose my telekenetic powers and have to actually resort to the scythe method rather than a floating sharpened spork, or my modded violin bow with a switchblade at the far end.(for public killings. in private still scythes all the way, or in more ancient times where i dont have to worry about getting shot)

 

[F-I-D-O]

I look them square in the eye through the scope of a high-powered sniper rifle from the next town over.

This. Always enjoyed sniping. Getting a string of kills before the first body hits the ground, and before the enemy knows where it's coming from. Pop in a new clip, and move to the next target, leaving a pile of bodies and no trail.
However, I also enjoy the other extreme of assassinations, where a stab in the back or a knife thrown from inside a crowd five feet away is still enjoyable.
Strictly speaking of games here. In real life, it would probably end up being sniping. Take a shot, and run like hell away from the actual fight.

-snip-

I'm... Worried about you.

Just don't walk past his bench. It's his bench and he doesn't like when people walk past it...

Beware the bench dwellers. They will smite you with a thousand pointy objects, and then apparently count the bodies. They be odd people.

 

[Dastardly]

Title says it all. In many of our beloved games we are usually given the task to eliminate a target, and more often than not it's some oblivious NPC. So, what's the method to your madness? Do you go GTA style and introduce them to the front of your car? Or pull out your magic spell, set'em on fire, and send them straight to Hell? Sniper rifle? Rocket launcher? Whatever you like, just make sure they're dead! Discuss.

Personally, I love nothing more than planting some C4 along their path, sitting back, and watching them stroll to their death. The distance of which the poor NPC's corpse is launched is always bonus.

Hahaha, if this thread title shows up on any Google results, you're gonna be on a few "watch lists"....

 

[Cory Rydell]

If its assassins creed broho then I tend to jab a and x in rapid succession till they fall to my unstoppable barrage of kicks and strikes. But mostly I hit people in the back, I just feel the best vantage of attack has little to no counter possibilities.

 

[Dastardly]

if possible? cut them in half from the groin to the head with a scythe (cuz i likez mez soemz sithez)

which makes me think, if someone were to not die instantly from that, would their two brain halfs think independently as 2 different people? or would they somehow still be linked as one person

Look up people with split-brain (severed corpus callosium). It's kinda like you're two different people without that bridge between the hemispheres of the brain. For people not chopped entirely in half, only one side can talk usually...

thats actually quite interesting. i almost want to meet the half of my brain that would be able to talk, too bad that if i did have my brain non lethally split i would loose my telekenetic powers and have to actually resort to the scythe method rather than a floating sharpened spork, or my modded violin bow with a switchblade at the far end.(for public killings. in private still scythes all the way, or in more ancient times where i dont have to worry about getting shot)

Yeah, pretty interesting effects when you sever the corpus callosum. Since language is primarily (but not completely) controlled in the left hemisphere, it can lead to some weird conflicts in a person's actions.

I recall reading about an experiment where they had a person with a severed corpus c., and they handed them a knife in their right hand (left brain), and showed a picture of a spoon to their left eye (right brain). They they asked the person to say (left brain) what the object was... and the person would say "Knife."

But the right half of the brain disagreed. Unable to speak, it resorted to shaking the head. To this, the left half of the brain wondered aloud, "Why am I shaking my head?"

 

[psivamp]

-snip-

Yeah, pretty interesting effects when you sever the corpus callosum. Since language is primarily (but not completely) controlled in the left hemisphere, it can lead to some weird conflicts in a person's actions.

I recall reading about an experiment where they had a person with a severed corpus c., and they handed them a knife in their right hand (left brain), and showed a picture of a spoon to their left eye (right brain). They they asked the person to say (left brain) what the object was... and the person would say "Knife."

But the right half of the brain disagreed. Unable to speak, it resorted to shaking the head. To this, the left half of the brain wondered aloud, "Why am I shaking my head?"

In psych, we watched a video where they showed a picture to the right side and asked him to draw it. So, using his left hand he tried to draw it and then his left brain had to guess what he'd been shown. It was hilarious because he was obviously right-handed and his drawing was terrible.

 

[Idlemessiah]

From Medieval 2: Total War's battle guide bloke...
"The best way to kill the enemy general is with artillery!"
It really really is. Cannon to the face, boosh!