How Do You Handle a Disagreement With Someone Else ?

[Brownie80]

I am a very argumentative person. It took me a long time to accept the fact not everyone is going to agree with me. They might hate me for it and me for holding the beliefs I have and I might hate them for the exact same reasons. Now, I try to respect people and their values, morals, and beliefs as long as it isn't "HUR HUR DUR, THE 9/11 THING WAS BECAUSE OF THE ILLUMINATI!" I also like it when people back up their reasoning with facts and logic. So don't expect me to be ranting and spewing unfounded insults like what I've seen at 4Chan and...*shudder* Yahoo News. However, enough about what I do. How do you deal with a disagreement?

 

[Barbas]

Simple. I take a leaf out of Plinkett's book:

Spoiler: Spoiler: Click to View the solution to every problem you'll ever have.

I remember that ignorance is the position that everyone starts at. I remember to be humble and magnanimous, because helping someone better themselves is a worthier pursuit than denigrating them. Anyone can be cynical and passive-aggressive, but doing so does not solve a single thing.

...Oh, and as a wise man once said, three magic words are "I was wrong."

 

[BloatedGuppy]

I shout "You're stupid and you smell like butts!" and slap their face.

Like most people in the world, I secretly believe I am right on all issues, and like most people in the world, this is hilariously untrue. Won't stop me from believing it though. An unerring belief in our own conclusions is one of our idiotic survival mechanisms that translates poorly to civilized discourse.

 

[JoJo]

I usually tell someone why I disagree with them and counter their points calmly, I'm not the sort to get angered by a disagreement and I often have friendly banter debates with friends, sometimes even over politics and religion. It's all fun as long as no-one takes it too seriously or gets wound up because someone has a different opinion to them (shock, horror!).

 

[KiKiweaky]

Really depends on who I'm dealing with I get mad with some people at work simply because they don't listen no matter how many times you explain something or clarify it and they get annoyed back as they probably think I can be a know it all... not true I know I don't know everything and that is why I love documentaries, history and Wikipedia etc just generally if people are talking about something and if I have a reasonable amount of info I'll join in the conversation.

I take an interest in conflict and wars too and think many more people should pay far more attention to the world at large than they currently do, so when (in work) people were talking about Iraq, Syria the Middle East I can be much better informed than them as I read about them all the time not just when the area makes a breaking headline in the the news the night before.

One time sticks out in my mind as being a bit ridiculous (well to me it was anyway) someone in work mentioned Syria lets say looked at me rolled her eyes and asked "Do you have any input on that" or something along those lines, I just walked away and laughed if she wants to keep wrong information in her head far be it from me to stop her haha. She was talking about stuff minutes before and got some pieces of information wrong but I knew what she was on about and told her the correct info as best I could remember.... She didn't like being corrected haha

 

[Someone Depressing]

Tell them my views and why I disagree with them.

Or shout loudly.

 

[Elfgore]

I keep calm and don't let emotions get the better of me. I also try my best to avoid being passive-aggressive or sarcastic, as that just leads to shouting and warnings. I expect the same of the others in an argument. I respect your opinions, try respecting mine. If they don't do so, I'll end the debate then and there.

 

[ClockworkPenguin]

I shout "You're stupid and you smell like butts!" and slap their face.

Like most people in the world, I secretly believe I am right on all issues, and like most people in the world, this is hilariously untrue. Won't stop me from believing it though. An unerring belief in our own conclusions is one of our idiotic survival mechanisms that translates poorly to civilized discourse.

In fairness, it makes sense to think that you are right on any given position. If you didn't think you where right, you wouldn't hold that position, you'd hold a different one, which you would think was right.

It's healthy to maintain a self awareness that it's probable that an unknown percentage of your positions are incorrect, but believing oneself to be correct isn't really unreasonable.

OT; If both parties are fairly firm in their positions, I try and maintain polite relations and avoid the topic of contention, unless we're friends in which case jokes and banter will be made about it to wind them up and vice versa. I do like a good debate, but I'm conscious of a tendency to browbeat people, especially over issues I'm invested in, so I try and be careful to only engage people who are properly up for a debate, because I don't want to unintentionally be a bully or create a hostile or uncomfortable atmosphere.

Unless they're being total tits, in which case I'll probably challenge them.

 

[Allar]

I generally do everything I can to keep civil and make sure that we're having a discussion rather than shouting each other down but there are definitely times when I lose my cool. Generally it's a question of whether the other party is debating in good faith and if they're polite. I realize that tone isn't indicative of the validity of an argument but it's very difficult for me to have a discussion with somebody who's being snide or condescending especially when I (obviously) think that they're incorrect.

Having said that there are a few topics that are especially important to me (the prevalence of rape culture, sexual assault) that can cause me to get really worked up and sometimes lead me to be more aggressive than normal. I still try to be clear about my points and give the other side an earnest hearing but I fully admit that if you, for instance, suggest that a sober person having sex with an intoxicated person is NOT sexual assault then I'm probably going to be a bit more aggressive and angry than I would be about almost any other topic.

So yeah, generally try to keep lines of communication clear and if it becomes obvious that we understand each other's argument but disagree on some sort of fundamental premise then I just let it be and acknowledge that we'll have to agree to disagree. Oh, I also ALWAYS make sure to define my terms especially if I'm talking about say international politics or religious studies (my two areas of study) with somebody who doesn't have that same background because I find that in a lot of cases people talk past each other because you're both using the same term in different ways.

 

[Artina89]

If I am dealing with someone at work, in particular someone who is my manager, I tend to let them know that, even though I don't agree with them, I will play it their way and just get on with the task at hand. If it all goes pear shaped, I can just turn around and say that I was only doing what my supervisor was telling me to do and to take it up with them. (I try and ensure that I have witnesses).

With family and friends I tend to let them know my viewpoint, but I won't force them to see my way of thinking, as everyone is different and it would be boring if we had all the same views and opinions. A little conflict is good sometimes.

One rule I try to keep to with arguments and debates: Don't get too personal. I try and temper what I say as I don't want to regret anything later on, or (in the case of work) get fired.

 

[Keoul]

If it's someone that's intelligent and I believe is willing to change then I'll talk it out and tell em why I believe I'm right.
If not then I'd just smile and nod, doing anything else would just be a waste of energy. Just feign acceptance of their beliefs until I can back out.

 

[Caliostro]

Depends wildly.

If we're talking about simply disagreeing with me/having what I consider a stupid opinion... I just ignore it. Why not? Doesn't really matter. They don't matter. Maybe it's me, I'm generally considered to be fairly cynical, but I don't understand why I should care if someone else is ignorant or idiotic. The world is full to the brim of those people. Let them have their opinions. They probably think I'm the idiot. We're both better off ignoring the other. Long gone are the days where I attempted to educate people I think are ignorant. It's a fruitless endeavor even if you limit yourself to the factual. For any 1 person you can have a nice discussion with there are a thousand that have no interest in anything but shit flinging and will happily disregard any rules of an intellectual debate. And for what? I get nothing out of it.

When ignoring is not an option (for whatever reason) there are only two options left: diplomacy or violence. When possible I'll almost always take diplomacy. It's almost inevitably the best resolution of any conflict. If that's not available then I have only one recourse left.

 

[Scarim Coral]

If it's a friends I know I pretty much get both of us to "agree to disagree" otherwise for a stranger on the web, I tried my best to ignore it as much as possible (or let my ego go and let him/ her win).

 

[Dirty Hipsters]

Clearly as an American whenever someone disagrees with me I pull out my gun and wave it around in the air while shouting until the disagreeing party either agrees with me or runs away like a little girl. Remember, if someone's a coward that means they're wrong, which is why no one listens to the French.

Seriously though, it depends who it is I'm talking to. Some people just aren't worth arguing with, either because you know they're too far gone to actually listen to reason, or because arguing with them can only lead to problems for yourself. Sometimes though, it's fun to argue just for the sake of argument, in which case I really enjoy playing "Devil's advocate" just to fuck with people.

 

[EeveeElectro]

Well, being a woman I'm naturally right about everything. If not I throw myself on the floor and scream until they agree with me.

On a serious note, it really depends on the topic. Most things I can agree to disagree with but I had to endure a guy who was insisting all girls are slags who deserve to get raped because his last girlfriend cheated on him. I used some very heated words, raised my voice at times and was on the verge of slapping him round his stupid face. I gave him an awesome verbal smackdown and got cheered on by others. I just ignored him for the rest of the night. Some people aren't worth arguing with.

 

[omega 616]

Argue the point till I get bored and just say "yeah, ok".

I usually go for a fair amount of time and when I start seeing a loop forming or I feel the argument is going nowhere, I stop. I could just get bored and stop, like if the argument has been going awhile and I am just sick of it ... I just let the other person think they have won.

 

[Zhukov]

I don't, for the most part.

Most arguments aren't worth the trouble. Besides, it'll usually be with someone you need to get along with, like a family member, friend, housemate or workmate. Arguing with them will just make life awkward further down the line. Unless something is actually at stake then I essentially just smile and nod.

Debates are a different story. Those can be fun. I enjoy playing devil's advocate. I try to be lighthearted about it, keep it friendly and a bit jokey.

Potentially violent confrontations scare the shit out of me. So I try to be all calm and conciliatory. The only time I'm comfortable in those situation is if I've lost my temper.

Emotional arguments vary from case to case, since nobody's being reasonable. I'm either involved, in which case I'll be in the thick of it snarling insults in the kind of voice that gives me a sore throat afterwards, or I'm not involved in which case I'll be wondering why we all just can't get along.

 

[Liquidprid3]

I don't argue with people to change their opinions, besides my family, really. My friends and I mostly share our opinions, not argue. It's not that I don't argue ever, though. The other day I was talking about Half Life 2, and my friend said he played it for 10 minutes before he got bored. Kind of pissed me off, and I said he should give it a proper chance. Luckily, he agreed with me, but I usually suck at arguing. Not really my thing, I'm not a quick thinker.

 

[Zack Alklazaris]

I am a very argumentative person. It took me a long time to accept the fact not everyone is going to agree with me. They might hate me for it and me for holding the beliefs I have and I might hate them for the exact same reasons. Now, I try to respect people and their values, morals, and beliefs as long as it isn't "HUR HUR DUR, THE 9/11 THING WAS BECAUSE OF THE ILLUMINATI!" I also like it when people back up their reasoning with facts and logic. So don't expect me to be ranting and spewing unfounded insults like what I've seen at 4Chan and...*shudder* Yahoo News. However, enough about what I do. How do you deal with a disagreement?

Generally it can go one of two ways. Either it will be a passionate argument with a flood of supporting data in between verbal bashings.
The other one is the ignorant and arrogant. They need to go together, mix em together and its like a war on ideology... you won't ever win. Sometimes its best just to accept that your pride isn't as valuable as your time spent on the moronic.