How do you know if a girl 'likes' you?

[sam42ification]

I know there proberly already been a post exactly like this but i haven't seen any so how do you tell if a girl wants to be more than a freind? I'm in high school so the girl is 16 if that makes a difference. I've been getting mixed messages from her maybe i'm just retarted and she just wants to be freinds but she hasn't ever really talked to me much before. She sits next to me and we talk we never used to do this sort of thing.

Also if i beleive she does 'like' me how should i proceed? I would definatly go for it if she is interested in me but i'm really not good at this sort of thing. I'm 16 never had a girlfreind and have been reject four times.

 

[JoJo]

Just ask her if she wants to hang out sometime, for a movie or a meal out or similar... just make sure you make it clear that you're interested in that way, not just as a friend. If she likes you in that way, then you've got yourself a date if she isn't though, then no harm has been done, no-one's going to be offended because you found them attractive, it's a compliment!

 

[Archeopterix]

She will tell your or get real close and be secretly trying to smell you to see if you "like" her (yeah we can smell that, don't use Axe or any cheap cologne because it will mask the natural really nice smell a guy gives off when he likes a girl, but for heavens sake take a shower before you go out, BO will cover up the nice smell too). She will do things like maintain eye contact (if she isn't shy) and play with her hair a little and try and get you talking about your interests, or see how well you listen about hers.

Every person has a list that will make a person get in the "friend zone", stay away from obvious things like spitting and picking your nose and so on, acting like a neandrthal will get your freind zoned quicker than you can say it.

 

[LetalisK]

I've always found unnecessary and lingering physical touching to be a good indicator. For example, you say something funny, she laughs and puts her hand on your shoulder, maybe dragging it a little, and it's left there a second too long. Same with hugs. Another one I've always used is if she says she's really into something you know she has no clue about.

Then again, she's a teenager. The interest of teenage girls can turn on a dime.

 

[SilentCom]

She will tell your or get real close and be secretly trying to smell you to see if you "like" her (yeah we can smell that, don't use Axe or any cheap cologne because it will mask the natural really nice smell a guy gives off when he likes a girl, but for heavens sake take a shower before you go out, BO will cover up the nice smell too). She will do things like maintain eye contact (if she isn't shy) and play with her hair a little and try and get you talking about your interests, or see how well you listen about hers.

Every person has a list that will make a person get in the "friend zone", stay away from obvious things like spitting and picking your nose and so on, acting like a neandrthal will get your freind zoned quicker than you can say it.

Natural smell? Is that like pheromone or something?
Anyways, if a girl is smiling at you and laughing at things you say, she may like you especially if she's constantly making eye contact with you. The eyes give it away.

 

[SpaceArcader]

Friend zone is something I can't process with. Don't get me wrong, I've been asked out a few times and declined them. Anyway my advice would be to carry on, she clearly likes you already if she's talking and laughing with you so that's a bonus. Don't mask yourself with cologne, shower in the morning or at the night either way and brush your teeth thoughtfully before going out. Don't ask her out straight away, see how it goes. One of my dates started stroking my hair and getting very close so keep in mind those options. Anything longer than three seconds is a BIG yes.

 

[SpaceArcader]

Then again, she's a teenager. The interest of teenage girls can turn on a dime.

I agree here. Anyway if it goes down the well, fear not, as it gives you experience.

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

In my experience, when they start talking to you regularly for no particular reason, without you starting the conversation is usually a good sign, especially if you talk about more intimate topics.

 

[WingedIncubus]

If she says hi to you before you say hi to her when you meet her, and you do not know her a lot, she likes you.

If you do not know her at all and she approaches you to chat, even to ask a question like what time is it, or whether you are XYZ, she is opening you.

If she enquires about your girlfriend, or mention anything resembling talking about a possible girlfriend, she likes you.

If you change something on you (haircut, beard, cloth, accessory) and she mentions that she liked it better as it was before, she likes you. It's a subtle compliment.

If you catches her stare and her gaze linger, or she maintains it with a faint smile, a sneer, or any gut feeling you have that she likes what she sees, do the math. Also, if you catch her looking at you and she immediately look elsewhere, she was checking you out. A female doesn't gawk at guys like in movies, in plain sight within meters, unless he is stunningly good looking or high value. It's too obvious, she looks easy, and she surrenders her power to choose. They'll wait that you look elsewhere instead, or when they are too far to be noticed.

It she acts submissive towards you and complies to your requests, she likes you. The more demanding or the more daring things she complies to, the more she is into you.

If she is finding time to spend with you on her own accord, she likes you.

If she constantly leans towards you and laughs even your lamest jokes, she likes you.

If she attempts to find a way to see you alone, she likes you.

If you find her invading your personal space often, or she hovers around you and she seems to be always there when you go somewhere, she likes you. Proximity is a dead-on indicator.

If she keeps touching you, she likes you.

If she follows you anywhere you go when she is alone with you, without even resisting, she likes you.

If she can't stop playing or placing her hair, exposing her neck, scratching her hand, or acting fidgety and nervous towards you, she likes you.

If there is a lot of lighting and her pupils are still heavily dilated, she likes you. Nothing she can do about it, it's reflexive.

If she always look in your eyes with a calm, easy-going face, or lowers her eyes often when you make eye contact, or looks away then looks at you again, whether you are looking at her or not, she likes you.

If suddenly she acts pissy at you for no particular reason at all or for imaginary reasons, or she hates you for no reason at all, she likes you but can't handle it. Girls that don't like a guy don't waste time being emotional on them, they are apathetic instead, they ignore him and avoid him.

If she is friendly with you in public, but you learn she badmouths you heavily to her friends in private, behind your back, it's possible that the girls likes you and wants to dissuade her friends to go after you. That's the kind of toilet room power play that queenbees play in their cliques. Girls are highly competitive and they'll never hesitate pick up fights or say made-up shit about a guy to weed out her competitors, even within their circle of friends. Same if she treats you like shit in front of her friends, but act totally differently when she is alone. In these case, if you like her, approach her when she is alone.

If she invites you in her home, in her own bedroom or she follows you inside your bedroom, with the two of you alone, it's strongly implied that she accepts the possibility of making out or having sex, if you take the lead and don't rush things.

As a proofing method, I asked my girlfriend for each item above whether it was true or not, and she agreed with all.

If you think she likes you, well be a man and take the lead. That's very important, you are in control and you're cool. Just tell her you want to grab a coffee to talk, sit besides her, and have fun with her, invade her personal space AND touch her playfully. The more she complies and answers positively, the more you may escalate the tension, and go with the feedback. If she backs off, don't panic, if she isn't leaving it's just that she was not ready to go there yet and she needs to be more comfortable. Get to know her story, her passions, her values. Project in the future, talk about things that light her up. If you find her looking at your lips or biting her lips, she wants you to kiss her.

Bear in mind, that a window of opportunity can close very fast, and most guys are bad at catching social cues. If you take too much time, she might think you are not interested or a total wuss, move on, and see you as a friend instead. That is why it's better to go for the type of relationship you want at the beginning of you knowing one another, rather than befriend her beforehand.

 

[WingedIncubus]

Then again, she's a teenager. The interest of teenage girls can turn on a dime.

The interest of any woman can turn on a dime, because a better prospect can always come around.

 

[drisky]

snip

Very good list, and most importantly if you think she's showing interest, show interest back. You don't even have to go straight into asking her out, but if you drop those strong hints back, it will at least make more obvious wether or not she's interested.

 

[Erana]

How do you know if a girl likes you likes you?
You can't unless you ask.

I don't like all these "What-ifs" people hype up about romantic interest. There are a few things you can do to get an idea, like the pupil thing, yes, (To an extent- one of my friends has constantly dialated pupils, for example) but in general I find that trying to assess someone's feelings just puts a bunch falsehoods in one's head.
I mean, people have assumed that I had a crush on them, and I've been told that I'm "so totally sending out signals." I don't have a sex drive, they just came up on these ideas on their own, and then held me to these expectations that weren't real.
Not saying you are doing this, I just want to point it out so you're aware of it and can avoid it so you don't have a load of grief later.

The best way to handle this situation is to continue to treat her like a friend. Healthy romance should build on the fundamentals of a healthy friendship, after all. Make it clear that you will be there for her and stand by her. It definitely doesn't hurt to point out that you're available in general, if you're waiting for blatant signals or for her to make a move.

Discussing relationships in general and what you expect in them is a sly way of advertising yourself while proving that you trust her with your emotions. I couldn't speak for her reaction, but every guy I have considered dating despite my asexuality has talked to me about their idea of relationships.

Then again, she's a teenager. The interest of teenage girls can turn on a dime.

The interest of any woman can turn on a dime, because a better prospect can always come around.

You think that men in general are any better? Its a human fault, not something that occurs due to not having a Y chromosome.

 

[LetalisK]

Then again, she's a teenager. The interest of teenage girls can turn on a dime.

The interest of any woman can turn on a dime, because a better prospect can always come around.

Adult mature women aren't nearly as fickle as teenage girls.