How do you make friends online?

[DanDeFool]

Okay, I know this is totally pathetic, but there's something I'm just not getting here and I could use some advice.

I know people who seem to have a lot of friends on the internet. And I'm not talking about people on MySpace or Facebook who have 10,000 friends and couldn't possibly interact with more than about 10-20 of them on a regular basis. I mean people who have friends they always talk to on instant messengers for hours on end or that know people they play with on MMOG's and join guilds and stuff like that. People who really get to know someone online and start romantic relationships that actually work out in real life.

I just don't get it. How do you even get started? Sometimes I'll go on IRC and talk to people for a while, or make a party with some random folks in an MMO, and a good time will be had by all, but it never seems to go anywhere after that. It's always just 'see you around' and on to the next random group of strangers. Quite frankly, the lone wolf thing isn't doing it for me anymore.

So how do you make friends online? What should I be doing differently? Should I even care?

 

[CowboyfromHell666]

Exactly like in real life, it just...happens. You meet someone you enjoy talking to, you talk to them, you talk to them more, and them boom! Suddenly you're friends.

At least, that's how it works for me. On here, it usually starts with a derailment of a thread. That's how they all start.

Yeah same, or I just friend request random people and hope they accept.
On here, its the latter. So far, 100% success.

 

[Gralian]

To be honest, i don't know how it happens. It just does. Half of the people on my msn list who are my good friends, i have no idea how i even got them!

However, for me anyway, a lot of it comes from World of Warcraft.

You might be quick to dismiss that as being full of basement dwellers and all the rest of it, but you'd be suprised. On the European servers at least, it's full of some decent friendly people aged between (for the most part) 15-25. Guild runs in particular tend to be full of adults, and it's easy to go off on a tangent and get some kind of conversation going. Before you know it, everyone in the guild's laughing and not caring that Arthas just tore them a new one!

Then people exchange msn addresses... and it goes from there.

Not to mention sometimes you get 'friends of friends'. I've been added / added people from 3+ way conversations over msn messenger before. Facebook helps a lot, if you join groups that friends are in, or events, their friends of friends may get to know you and add you on facebook / msn / etc.

Finally, i would like to point out Steam is great for finding friends. Not on such a personal level as msn, but after a good game of L4D you can often see a friend request if everyone got along well. Joining a clan or steam group also helps.

 

[Anthropaphagi]

I've just gone to different forums and such, not really intending to more than get information of some kind, either music or game related and it evolved from there.

Remember, the interweb is a double-edged sword. There's weirdos out there, you know, people like me. WHA HAA HAA

 

[ninja555]

Your best chance is to get really lucky.

 

[DazZ.]

As you're playing an MMO just join a guild and be active in guild chat. You'll be talking to the same people a lot and if you like them they might want you to stick around.
Random PUGs rarely become friends (in MMOs), I played with real life friends and most people who joined our PUGs joined our guild because we talked so much and just had fun.

Talk to the people who are in your friends lists as well. Just even once or twice and then you'll remember who they are more than the ones you don't talk to. Unless you play games with them regularly then it doesn't matter as you're talking anyway, but if you want them to actually be friends, don't just have them sitting there as contacts like you said with the Facebook pages with 10,000 friends.

 

[mikecoulter]

I just chat to people who contact me. If they're nice, they can stick around. If not, meh, I just ignore them.

Although you really shouldn't care.

 

[Julianking93]

I don't know. It just seems to sorta...happen.

I'll say something someone agrees with, then we become friends.

It's that simple.

I sure wish that my real social life was as successful

 

[Slash Dementia]

I hardly have actual conversations with random people online anymore. I have friends online from 2 - 7 years ago, though.

 

[Simalacrum]

Hmmm, I guess it would just happen...

Unfortunately, despite being on The Escapist for over 2 years now, I still haven't really formed any strong friendships. I feel lonely... :'(

But I have had more success on other places on the interweb... its just all about 'clicking' with another person in the end - that might be harder on the interwebs mind you, considering its more likely you'll meet people who don't agree with your opinions (in real life, your opinions are more likely to be formed from those around you... therefore, your more likely to agree with those around you. The same doesn't entirely apply on the internet, though it can, as different websites attract different types of people).

 

[child of lileth]

For me, online friends sometimes work out, but sometimes, I just end up getting really distant, and we never talk. lol. I've dated someone who found me on myspace, way back when I actually had one of those (I hate those kinds of sites, and never use them anymore). We dated in real life, but we just didn't know anything about each other at all. Turns out, they were in the psych ward 4 times, and it would have only been 3, but they stabbed a nurse in the knee on their last day the 3rd time, and got a 4th. lol. They also almost stabbed me once, over something completely pointless. lmao. Moral of the story is, don't always trust internet friends.

Anyway, if you are interested in talking to someone you meet online more, just mention that you'd like to add them on MSN or AIM or something, and give them your SN. They you can just say hi anytime you see them around, and you have more time to talk about anything you want at a good pace. The more you talk, the more likely they are to keep being friends with you and so on. You might even find a ton of common interests to always talk about.