How Should I Tell My Parents?

GoldenEyedScout

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Jul 26, 2010
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Hi there all. I've been doing some soul searching and thinking about my future, as a high school senior is wont to do.
I've talked to my father mostly about my plans after graduation (go into the military, two years of community college then transfer to another school to finish out my major, a year off to earn money, the usual stuff.), but it was mostly just to give my parents what they wanted to hear.

The past year or so, I've been thinking about going to school abroad (specifically, Canada, what with the socialized medicine goodness). I hadn't really decided upon a major, so I've been telling my parents "psychology with a minor in writing" or vice versa.
However, I've recently decided that I want to become a sexologist. My parents have been pretty supportive in most things I've done, but I'm not sure how they'd react to this.
If I do pursue this education, AFAIK, the only university in the world that offers a degree program in sexology is Université du Québec à Montréal.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Universit%C3%A9_du_Qu%C3%A9bec_%C3%A0_Montr%C3%A9al

Do you guys and gals have any suggestions for how to tell my parents?
Something tells me saying "I'm gonna be a sexologist!" over Thanksgiving dinner with granny and friends won't go over particularly well.
 

Tiger Sora

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Aug 23, 2008
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Fancy medical lingo, very, very, fancy, confusing, medical lingo.

Or be upfront and honest. Just try not to sound like a weirdo, it's the last thing you'd ever need to do in this situation.
 

Occams_Razor

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Oct 20, 2012
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If they've been supportive of you in the past, there's no reason to think that they wont support your decision hear. By the sounds of it, its something you've thought out, and come to a mature and rational decision, and they should respect that in the end.

Explain your rational, why it appeals to you and why you think its the right fit for you, and I'm sure they'll understand. As long as you present it in a mature and responsible way(you can see how something like this can be handled poorly) they'll come around.

On a side note, Canada is awesome! Come join us here!
 

White Lightning

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Feb 9, 2012
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What the hell is a Sexologist? Is it something I can google safely? I can't really help unless I know what it is.
 

GoldenEyedScout

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Jul 26, 2010
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexology

Or, if you can't follow the link for some reason, I'll quote it.
"Sexology is the interdisciplinary scientific study of human sexuality, including human sexual interests, behavior, and function. In modern sexology, researchers apply tools from several academic fields, including biology, medicine, psychology, statistics, epidemiology, sociology, anthropology, and criminology."
 

Batou667

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Oct 5, 2011
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Just out of interest, why do you want to be a sexologist?

I'm not here to judge, of course, but prepare to answer this question many, many times. Mostly to people who are looking at you with a worried expression, or who are stifling giggles.

captcha: sharp pencil. No, captcha, I'm pretty sure that's completely unrelated to sexology.
 

GoldenEyedScout

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Jul 26, 2010
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I want to be a sexologist because ever since I took a psych course my junior year, I've been hooked on trying to figure out what makes people tick, and especially myself.

And, as you can see from the definition, to be one you must have knowledge in several areas, many of which I am interested in.

Plus, I just think it's really interesting for other reasons I just can't quite explain, ya know?
 

dmase

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Mar 12, 2009
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Depends if your parents are very conservative people I'd go for saying your either going to be a psychologist if you want to study behavior or a doctor/researcher if you'd rather study the biological concepts involved. For the most part during your undergrad section you won't get too specific till your junior senior year. You'll be taking mostly basic classes and pre-reqs with one or two major related classes. About junior year though you might have to discuss why your taking genitalia 200 or obsessive masturbation 150.... or alternative positions...69.

Now that i think about it sexologist would be an awesome career, if I could ever stop laughing at all the medical terms used to describe sex.
 

renegade7

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Feb 9, 2011
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I wouldn't zero in on a specific field yet. If you want to study psychology, just say you want to study psychology. And you're still in high school -you've got years to declare a major and concentration, and you may find something else you like. I came in certain I would be studying criminal psychology, and I ended up in electronic engineering.

And keep in mind that most psychologists today also go to grad school, so that's even more time to figure that out.

Unless you're truly dead set on it, I wouldn't get yourself psyched up for just one area so early on.
 

GoldenEyedScout

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Jul 26, 2010
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dmase said:
About junior year though you might have to discuss why your taking genitalia 200 or obsessive masturbation 150.... or alternative positions...69.
Thank you for your maturity.
 

Jinxzy

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Jul 2, 2008
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I wouldn't tell the whole family while cutting the turkey at thanksgiving. Just find a nice and comfortable time to have a talk with your parents. I would break it down slowly and tell them you want to go into psychology. I'm sure they will be thrilled, then tell them there are many fields in psychology and your very interested in one because you want to understand what makes people think and you want to learn everything you can. I really doubt parents can be upset with you for wanting to learn as much as you can.
 

Psykoma

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Nov 29, 2010
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GoldenEyedScout said:
Just a little question on feasibility:

How's your French?

Have to realize that UQAM (Universite De Quebec A Montreal) is a Francophone university.

To go there you'll have to have a much-higher-than-fluent capability in French, because you'll have to pass a french exam to get in, and all your courses will be in French, and they won't be polite in waiting for you to learn.
 

GoldenEyedScout

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Jul 26, 2010
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Psykoma said:
GoldenEyedScout said:
Just a little question on feasibility:

How's your French?

Have to realize that UQAM (Universite De Quebec A Montreal) is a Francophone university.

To go there you'll have to have a much-higher-than-fluent capability in French, because you'll have to pass a french exam to get in, and all your courses will be in French, and they won't be polite in waiting for you to learn.
Funny thing that...
I had to take a year and a half of french in middle school. I did my two mandatory foreign language credits freshmen and sophomore years with German 1 and 2.
So.... to the Rosetta Stone mobile!

And to everyone advocating not to get attached to a major/don't declare yet,
I had planned on doing a year or so at the nearby community college to get Gen Eds out of the way and earn some cash before actually going to a "real" school, so I'd have time to figure stuff out as well.

But I'm pretty set on this.
 

Psykoma

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GoldenEyedScout said:
But I'm pretty set on this.
Rosetta stone will help you learn the basics about communicating in French, but for a bachelors degree you need MUCH higher than the basics.

They will not be forgiving if you use English either in class or on tests/exams.

If you are really set on this, and if you do only have a year and a half of French, then I would say plan on spending a -minimum- of 2 years with nothing but French.
I don't mean just study it, I mean also live it, have conversations in it every day, and put yourself in an environment where you need to speak it.

You will need the basics that Rosetta stone -may- be able to teach you, but you also need spoken communication and oral comprehension, as well as psychology specific French knowledge.

Also have to understand that those community college credits, if they are in english, will likely (99.999999% chance) NOT be accepted towards a degree at UQAM because A. They are in English, and B. They're from a foreign community college. You can email the registrars office at UQAM to confirm, but I'm pretty sure that's how they'd be treated.

As well, regarding health insurance - unless you're planning on becoming a citizen of Quebec, you won't have access to Quebec medicare as a foreign student. Only a few countries have agreements with Quebec to allow their students medicare coverage while in Quebec, and the U.S. isn't one of them. You'd have to buy into a private plan offered by the university unless you become a citizen.

You didn't mention it, and I'm not sure if you considered it - Tuition expenses. Tuition in Quebec is something most international students don't understand until the first bill comes.
Tuition in Quebec is very cheap - for Quebec residents.
For Quebec residents, it's around 3k per year, for Non-Quebec Canadians, it's around 9k, for international students (You), it's usually around 20-30k per year.

I'm not trying to say you shouldn't go for it, I'm saying that it really seems like you went from the decision stage of "I want to do this" right to "How do I tell people I'm going to do this", completely skipping the "Can I do this" and "What do I need to be able to do this" stages. And I really don't think you've thought through the ramifications of pursuing higher education in a language you -really- haven't spent any significant amount of time with.

You can do it, but you have to understand that (imo) you're looking at at -least- 2-3 years of hard work before even getting to UQAM.
 

GoldenEyedScout

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Jul 26, 2010
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Please understand.

I do not like the Quebecois. They strike me as being a lot like the Southern Republicans (THIS IS 'MURICUH, SPEAK MURICAN!) so if any other school, ABSOLUTELY ANY SCHOOL IN THE WORLD offered the degree program, I'd attend it in a heartbeat.

Fucking Frenchies.