How to be happy?

[Mcupobob]

I'm not really sure what I want to say or ask. I'm just typing what comes to mind. I just been feeling like shit. I don't know where to go and feel stuck. The most horrible thing for me is. I just can't stand sitting around waiting for things to happen. I feel dead, and that I'm just drifting through life. I don't really have any friends anymore if you can call them that. More like acquaintances that ask favors from me from time to time.

Even my best friend I've know forever has pretty much moved on with his life. Every relationship I've ever tried to handle never ends quietly but with a long drawn out fight, with someone trying to screw over the other person till they have hurt the other enough to be satisfied and move on. My family? Nice enough people, just never sober enough to be of any help. Me? I've tried therapy, and every different outlook on life. It feel alone no matter who I'm talking to or who I'm with.

I just got back from a walk, and I just kept going till I couldn't feel anything other than myself. I don't know who I am, what I want. Honestly the best way to describe my life is just one long drug trip, and I'm to chicken shit to stop it. I just keep riding it out. I can't ever remember when life felt real to me. So, yeah. Any advice or just talk about what works for you, or if you feel the same.

EDIT: Also feel like I get nothing but mixed singles from every social interaction I've ever had(including my pets, which is why I'm a dog person). People scare me, and I'm always afraid to rub someone the wrong way or to put myself out there. And when I do I only end up being used and forgotten.

Double EDIT: So I've taken the advice on this thread and I really appreciate it. Today, though I found out the bank took the last of money out of my account and handed me 1.32$. I was only lucky enough to close the account before they started to put me into debt. As for my friends. Well Not single one was there for me today, which made me realize even after all the times I was there for them. All the times I've tried to be positive. Some how things only get worse. But I can't sit around and mop. Got myself a job. Though I'm not hoping for much. Thing is no matter how much I put into whatever I do. Anything I get back into it ends up lost or leaves. But, if I don't keep going then what does that prove? That I'm going to let the world kick the shit out of me and take everything? Fuck that. Thanks for the help everyone. While I don't dare hope or trust anymore. I'm still going to keep going and find something of mine to take.

 

[Julianking93]

This seems to be a serious issue and while you are young, if your profile is to be believed, that doesn't make this any less important. The root of your troubles here could be the combination of a lot of things. From what you've described to hormonal imbalances and other things that really could only be confirmed from professional analysis, so before I continue with anything, if these issues persist, please go see a psychologist about it.

So basically what I gather from your post is that you feel as if you're just coasting along, not truly feeling like you're living but just existing without much in relationships and just feel isolated. With that, probably the best thing one can do is get out and be productive with your life. Find something that gives you that sense of meaning you crave and motivates you to be more active in your life.

Do you have a job you enjoy? Any sort of hobbies?
That doesn't necessarily mean "get a job," but that would obviously help here. Other things would be something like finding different pastimes you enjoy that are also productive. But above all, one of the best things to do is to remain positive in your outlook, no matter how bleak things can get. Life can be very difficult and it's not always fluffy bunnies and rainbows, but even in the more difficult times, it's good to stay positive and not be brought down by things.

Overall, I'd say you just need to get out there again and don't be discouraged by what has happened in the past. I used to be (and still am pretty much) the same way. Always afraid of upsetting someone and would rather clam up in social situations than talk to someone or feel terrified of the worst possible outcome as it had happened before, but you need to realise that you just have to move on from those people and look at things in a more positive light.

I hope this helps in one way or another and if you wish, you can PM me about this further if you would like to talk more.

 

[Zantos]

Counselling really helped me when I was feeling like that, with their listening and making good suggestions and stuff.

First I'd try what Julianking93 said about job or hobbies, great way to meet people you always have something in common with. Failing that, and if this keeps going on, maybe talk to your doctor about something stronger.

 

[zombiesinc]

I'm not really sure what I want to say or ask. I'm just typing what comes to mind. I just been feeling like shit. I don't know where to go and feel stuck. The most horrible thing for me is. I just can't stand sitting around waiting for things to happen. I feel dead, and that I'm just drifting through life. I don't really have any friends anymore if you can call them that. More like acquaintances that ask favors from me from time to time.

The only way this will change is if you start doing things to counter these feelings. Ensure that you're getting enough sleep, eating three to six meals a day, exercising in any way, allowing yourself to indulge in something you enjoy, and avoid dwelling on anything negative.

Even my best friend I've know forever has pretty much moved on with his life. Every relationship I've ever tried to handle never ends quietly but with a long drawn out fight, with someone trying to screw over the other person till they have hurt the other enough to be satisfied and move on. My family? Nice enough people, just never sober enough to be of any help. Me? I've tried therapy, and every different outlook on life. It feel alone no matter who I'm talking to or who I'm with.

Go back to a psychologist and try again. Whether or not talking to someone helps is entirely dependant on the person, and their attitude going in. If you think it won't help, it won't help. If you want it to help more than anything, and you go in with a positive "this will help, in time" sort of attitude, it will eventually help. Remember to be patient, because talking doesn't mean instant results. Talking doesn't mean you'll find some sort of smoking barrel that will be 'the solution'. What talking does mean is venting, sharing and releasing everything you've likely been holding in. Through this process it's also possible the psychologist/psychiatrist/doctor will either recognize something that needs to be addressed, or recognize a pattern, after which they can suggest more specific things for you to focus on, avoid altogether, or work towards. Eventually you'll find yourself in a more productive and far less negative routine. If your family can't be those people you talk to when you need someone to listen, a professional can be.

I just got back from a walk, and I just kept going till I couldn't feel anything other than myself. I don't know who I am, what I want. Honestly the best way to describe my life is just one long drug trip, and I'm to chicken shit to stop it. I just keep riding it out. I can't ever remember when life felt real to me. So, yeah. Any advice or just talk about what works for you, or if you feel the same.

Who you are isn't something you should feel the need to be able to instantly define. We constantly change, grow, learn, experience, so "who we are" is hardly an answerable question. This isn't something you should allow to bring you down or something you should focus on. Rather, focus on where you want to be in life, what you want your life to mean to you, and how you want to live it.

If you're not sure what you want to be, then take the time to consider education, and a career. If you're still in high school, make sure that no matter how pointless or frustrating you find attending and doing your homework to be, do it, and to the best of your abilities. Have you given your career any thought? Do you have any ideas of what you'd be interested in? These are the sort of things you should be focusing on, rather than dwelling on the things you're not happy with in your life. It may seem difficult, but it's something you're going to have to force yourself to do if you want to get past this struggle.

EDIT: Also feel like I get nothing but mixed singles from every social interaction I've ever had(including my pets, which is why I'm a dog person). People scare me, and I'm always afraid to rub someone the wrong way or to put myself out there. And when I do I only end up being used and forgotten.

Those mixed signals could be a number of things. It could be that you've been focusing so much on how you feel about your life, and all those negatives surrounding you, to such an extent you've actually been giving off negative vibes to those around you. You may be coming off in such a way that you're pushing people away or giving them the wrong impression. It could also be that you're focusing on these mixed signals so much that you're making them out to be more than they are, and by doing so, further ensuring that you give off those negative vibes even moreso. It could also be that you're struggling so much with yourself that these little insecurities are all you notice when you do interact with others.

Regardless of the cause though, what you need to focus on is getting past where you are now. In order to do that you need to start taking steps out of these habits you're currently in, thought processes you're focusing on, and anything negative in your life. Start focusing on what you want, rather than what you don't have or wish you had. Focus on the things that make you happy, rather than the things that bring you down or burden your confidence. Of course it's not that easy, and in the beginning you'll likely have to force yourself away from the usual things you focus on, but over time it'll become easier. And the more you focus on the positives in your life the less overwhelming and frustrating the negatives will seem.

Get into a productive routine. Be sure to participate in anything that you enjoy. Focus on the positives, rather than the negatives. This will make all the difference when you do attempt to correct or change anything in your life. Remember that there is no 'quick fix' but that doesn't mean you can't get past this. Be sure to have any sort of way to vent, without resorting to drugs or alcohol. Be sure that you don't allow yourself to become completely dependant on one type of release or person in your life. Remind yourself that things can get better, so long as you want it to get better. Also, don't allow "I've already tried this, it won't work" to be an excuse to not try something in the future. Stay positive, and focused on what you want, rather than what you don't have. Take those frustrations, insecurities and doubts, and use them as determination. Tell yourself that they aren't something you want to feel, and that should help encourage you to keep going. But most of all, keep in mind that this isn't how it will always be, and it's not because you've somehow failed that you're struggling.