How to Become a Game Journalist

[UNHchabo]

Here's one last piece of advice to tide you over: statistics have shown that you're more likely to get published if you drown yourself in a pond.

This one is totally true. If you do drown yourself in a pond, it means that people are more likely to read your work, purely for the "tortured artist" aspect.

 

[Invadergray]

Weird. I can't seem to find any sarcasm in this article.

 

[ivc392]

That's a total lie, I have drowned at least 13 kids and an old lady and no one has ever published any of the threat notes I've send.

 

[Andronicus]

Well that settles it; I'm quitting my Physiology major and becoming a highly paid and respected game journalist instead!

I knew there was never any money in dentistry anyway.

 

[Therumancer]

I see Yahtzee's point about "I want to be a Game Reviewer" being similar to PnP gamers all wanting to work full time in the RPG industry back in the day, with similar chances of it happening, for very similar reasons. HOWEVER, I do think that game journalism suffers from a lack of new blood, much like I think it hurt the PnP RPG industry where you had a bunch of proven veterans, jealously defending their jobs (for obvious reasons) more or less recycling the same material again and again. I think a lot of professional game publications (print or digital) have gotten stuck in a rut, and when they do bring in new blood, it's almost exactly the same as the old blood in the way it goes about things.

Yahtzee himself became popular by breaking the mould, and stood out a lot for that reason. Of course to be honest as time goes on it seems like for all of his snark, I think he's starting to lose it. As odd as it sounds, as time goes on he's taste in games and game content is beginning to seem like someone's grand dad. Too violent, too sexy, too extreme? At one point he make jokes about that kind of thing, but now at times I'm starting to wonder if he's prematurely aging and dottering to and from work at "The Mana Bar" with a walker, waving his cane at "kids" playing games that are 'too much' on the machines.

 

[ewhac]

So, the best reference one can use for the required writing style is "My Immortal", the infamous Harry Potter fanfic?

Can I get a confirmation on that, Susan?

No, no. The definitive reference text is almost certainly The Eye of Argon [http://www.rdrop.com/~hutch/argon].

BTW, the most interesting piece of writing advice I got was from Marion Zimmer Bradley: "Never take writing advice from anyone who can't sign a check."

 

[The Crazy Legs]

Hmm. Well, I'm sure following this advice when (if) I get into the business! I might even pass along the information. You know, while claiming that I MADE IT UP MYSELF!!! *Trollface*

... I'M-JUST-JOKING-PLEASE-DON'T-SUE-ME!

But, still. If you get the point about what he's saying, he's got some really good... points. Wow, redundant much? *facepalm*

 

[Desworks]

I think you just gave Steve Butts a heart attack.

I thought it was Susan who handled the pitches and new submissions. Which explains her highly-practiced ability to say "Aw, hell no!"

Ayuh. Though the skill it's developed is more of an open-mouthed stare, followed by "You have got to be kidding me."

In truth, the vast majority of the pitches I get are fairly ordinary. I reject about 96% of pitches I receive, but usually for very mundane reasons - it's not a good fit for the audience, it's something that's been done to death, we've already run something along those lines fairly recently, or the writer just isn't all that good. The jaw droppers are relatively few and far between, but they do certainly leave an impression.

Good thing you're a heavy drinker then, eh?

 

[Aureliano]

Now to be fair, I don't think all of that was incorrect advice. Specifically, I think drowning yourself in a pond might actually help you get something published.

 

[The Funslinger]

Ayuh. Though the skill it's developed is more of an open-mouthed stare, followed by "You have got to be kidding me."

In truth, the vast majority of the pitches I get are fairly ordinary. I reject about 96% of pitches I receive, but usually for very mundane reasons - it's not a good fit for the audience, it's something that's been done to death, we've already run something along those lines fairly recently, or the writer just isn't all that good. The jaw droppers are relatively few and far between, but they do certainly leave an impression.

That's actually just reminded me. I figured when I turned 18 I might drop a submission and see what happens. And I was lying in bed being an insomniac, and just as I finally started to feel really tired, I had an epiphany. I was like "holy shit, this could actually be it! They'll LOVE this!"

Then came the arduous decision of whether to roll out of bed (and probably forfeit that night's two hours of sleep) and jot it down. I thought "nah, no need. This stands out so much there's no way I could forget it!"

Two days later, I was sat in my Psychology class, when I looked up in realization and remembrance. Then the entire class jumped out of their feet as I shouted "FUCK!"

Edit: jumped out of their feet.... the hell? Damn sentence melding. Jumped out of their seats/jumped to their feet. Take your pick.

 

[lacktheknack]

So, the best reference one can use for the required writing style is "My Immortal", the infamous Harry Potter fanfic?

Can I get a confirmation on that, Susan?

No, no. The definitive reference text is almost certainly The Eye of Argon [http://www.rdrop.com/~hutch/argon].

BTW, the most interesting piece of writing advice I got was from Marion Zimmer Bradley: "Never take writing advice from anyone who can't sign a check."

A sweeping blade of flashing steel riveted from the massive
barbarians hide enameled shield as his rippling right arm thrust
forth, sending a steel shod blade to the hilt into the soldiers
vital organs. The disemboweled mercenary crumpled from his
saddle and sank to the clouded sward, sprinkling the parched dust
with crimson droplets of escaping life fluid.
The enthused barbarian swilveled about, his shock of fiery
red hair tossing robustly in the humid air currents as he faced
the attack of the defeated soldier's fellow in arms.
"Damn you, barbarian" Shrieked the soldier as he observed
his comrade in death.

All my million Escapist submissions shall be in the style as seen above.

 

[Cecilthedarkknight_234]

Weird. I can't seem to find any sarcasm in this article.

I think for once Yahtzee is being sincere about how to write or get in to game journalism.

 

[The Funslinger]

Now to be fair, I don't think all of that was incorrect advice. Specifically, I think drowning yourself in a pond might actually help you get something published.

Obituaries don't count, I'm afraid. I should know, I've faked my death several times to such an end.

Signed, Jack Binns. Formerly known as Frank Sharpe, formerly known as Damon Wright, formerly known as Marilyn Monroe.

 

[The Funslinger]

So, the best reference one can use for the required writing style is "My Immortal", the infamous Harry Potter fanfic?

Can I get a confirmation on that, Susan?

No, no. The definitive reference text is almost certainly The Eye of Argon [http://www.rdrop.com/~hutch/argon].

BTW, the most interesting piece of writing advice I got was from Marion Zimmer Bradley: "Never take writing advice from anyone who can't sign a check."

A sweeping blade of flashing steel riveted from the massive
barbarians hide enameled shield as his rippling right arm thrust
forth, sending a steel shod blade to the hilt into the soldiers
vital organs. The disemboweled mercenary crumpled from his
saddle and sank to the clouded sward, sprinkling the parched dust
with crimson droplets of escaping life fluid.
The enthused barbarian swilveled about, his shock of fiery
red hair tossing robustly in the humid air currents as he faced
the attack of the defeated soldier's fellow in arms.
"Damn you, barbarian" Shrieked the soldier as he observed
his comrade in death.

All my million Escapist submissions shall be in the style as seen above.

That was glorious. Truly, men such as George R.R. Martin, John Green and whoever wrote that totally awesome Hungry Caterpillar book should learn from this!

In all seriousness, it turns out adjectives are not your bread and butter. And... a steel shod blade? What the hell was it shod through, wood? In which case what the hell kind of sword is that?

No, no, I bet he got a chunk of rock with ore in it and just glued it to a hilt.

 

[jdogtwodolla]

I was hoping to see him write a post release article on his poacher game. I guess the escapist is not the place for it.

 

[Squidbulb]

Damn it Yahtzee, why'd you have to go and write a serious article?

 

[370999]

I think you just gave Steve Butts a heart attack.

I thought it was Susan who handled the pitches and new submissions. Which explains her highly-practiced ability to say "Aw, hell no!"

Ayuh. Though the skill it's developed is more of an open-mouthed stare, followed by "You have got to be kidding me."

In truth, the vast majority of the pitches I get are fairly ordinary. I reject about 96% of pitches I receive, but usually for very mundane reasons - it's not a good fit for the audience, it's something that's been done to death, we've already run something along those lines fairly recently, or the writer just isn't all that good. The jaw droppers are relatively few and far between, but they do certainly leave an impression.

Could you share the juicy ones or is that legally not allowed?

 

[Formica Archonis]

No, no. The definitive reference text is almost certainly The Eye of Argon [http://www.rdrop.com/~hutch/argon].

Say what you want, a jeweler would KILL for a "many fauceted scarlet emerald"! How much logical contradiction jewelry do you have that also serves as functional plumbing?

 

[Shiro No Uma]

HA! Do this again please. I haven't had enough hernias from falling to the ground laughing.

Signed,
J.J.R.H. N' Slew
(Dictated, but not read.)

 

[Susan Arendt]

I think you just gave Steve Butts a heart attack.

I thought it was Susan who handled the pitches and new submissions. Which explains her highly-practiced ability to say "Aw, hell no!"

Ayuh. Though the skill it's developed is more of an open-mouthed stare, followed by "You have got to be kidding me."

In truth, the vast majority of the pitches I get are fairly ordinary. I reject about 96% of pitches I receive, but usually for very mundane reasons - it's not a good fit for the audience, it's something that's been done to death, we've already run something along those lines fairly recently, or the writer just isn't all that good. The jaw droppers are relatively few and far between, but they do certainly leave an impression.

Could you share the juicy ones or is that legally not allowed?

Tell you what - give this a listen. It'll provide some insight: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZqHoSrrS28 (Apologies for the audio, there were tech issues at the panel. This was the best we could get.)