How to deal with stress?

[maidenm]

Ok, I'm currently studying to become a programmer at a very intense, prestigious school. As part of my education I need to get a internship at a company so I can learn the trade from professionals. I'm also dealing with having my boyfriend quitting his job to move here, as in leaving his home-country to live with me. I am also struggling to deal with a few personal realisations that scare and confuse me quite a bit. Add to that the usual everyday humdrum and it adds up.

In short, I got a few things going on right now.

Since a few days ago I started to feel sick, nauseous and tired. I'm irritated more easily than usual and I'm feeling anxious and restless while also feeling like I can't do anything. I don't know if I'm just sick or... if it's simply stress, wich wouldn't suprise me.

What can I do to feel less stressed? What do you do? Any reassuring sage advice? Any slaps on the wrists? Any desire to share?

 

[SapphireMoon]

Is the fact that your boyfriend's moving to where you are really something bad? Are you not sure that you want that much dedication?

 

[maidenm]

Thanks for the tips guys

Boyfriend moving here isn't bad, but the nagging "what if..?" questions are. He doesn't know the language, doesn't have any friends here, neither he nor I are feeling too well, mind-wise, and I am mainly just scared of screwing things up for one or both of us...

Exercise is a good advice, I'm trying to get started but the first few weeks are always horrible.

Hobbies is also very good, except I'm having trouble with getting started there too. My hobbies are writing and drawing, both are great when I feel great and devestating when I feel bad...

I'm afraid I don't drink alcohol so getting drunk isn't much of an option

More advice is of course welcome, and thanks to those that offered to talk

 

[BakedSardine]

Your mind like routine - establish one (get up at the same time every day, afternoon coffee break, etc.). Inaction can also be paralyzing - if there are little things around your house that need to get done (errands, chores, painting a door, whatever) just do them and get them over with. There are so many things that I used to hold off on doing and then when I got to them in a couple months the literally took less than an hour to get done. That I let them sit that long was ridiculous.

Almost to a fault, I rarely get stressed. I take the general view that life marches on, so why stress - do what I can to get through the day with a little forethought on long term planning (contributing to my 401k routinely, for example) things work out. Automate or build into your daily routine the necessities - everything else you can almost forget about.

 

[Random Argument Man]

The "what if" scenarios can be tiresome, but the solutions boils down to two things. A. Is the situation something you can manage ? B. Is the situation something you can't manage?

A is easier. If you know how to do deal with it, you can take the steps to control it.

When it comes to B, you can either inform yourself if you can develop the skills to manage it or just learn to let it go.

You can take breaks to clear off your mind. Exercise or hobbies can help with that. When you do that, take a good amount of time for it. You can also take the that time to discover new hobbies or meet people. The point is to give your mind a break.

My no.1 and no.2 tips are to get a good amount of sleep and eat healthy. You'd be surprised on how much you can calm down when you do those two.

 

[Jamieson 90]

I find putting things into perspective can help when I'm stressed.

You're stressed about your school work? Remember that you go to a very prestigious school and that not many people get that opportunity.

You're worried about how things will work out with your boyfriend? Again you have a boyfriend which you obviously care a lot about and if he's willing to move to another country then I'd say he cares an awful lot about you too. It can be easy to take that for granted but some people can't even get a boyfriend let alone maintain a relationship.

Perspective is important because we so often obsess over what we don't have whilst forgetting what we do.

 

[James0026]

Try to go with your hobbies. or just listen to a relaxing music.

 

[rutger5000]

Meditate, without any doubt the most effective way to deal with stress. Sleep, good food and exercise also do wonders, but honestly who has time for that.

 

[Sateru]

Ok, I'm currently studying to become a programmer at a very intense, prestigious school. As part of my education I need to get a internship at a company so I can learn the trade from professionals. I'm also dealing with having my boyfriend quitting his job to move here, as in leaving his home-country to live with me. I am also struggling to deal with a few personal realisations that scare and confuse me quite a bit. Add to that the usual everyday humdrum and it adds up.

In short, I got a few things going on right now.

Since a few days ago I started to feel sick, nauseous and tired. I'm irritated more easily than usual and I'm feeling anxious and restless while also feeling like I can't do anything. I don't know if I'm just sick or... if it's simply stress, wich wouldn't suprise me.

What can I do to feel less stressed? What do you do? Any reassuring sage advice? Any slaps on the wrists? Any desire to share?

I suffer from generalized anxiety disorder. :< It is a horrible mental affliction that makes the brain find itself almost unable to cope with any form of stress. Stress will tend to manifest itself through anticipating future events, fearing possible loss, paranoid about what may happen, and a general fear of the unknown. It is extremely hard at first to cope with stress, especially if it overwhelms you on a daily basis.

Deep breathing exercises help, trying to make a safe-zone for yourself is another helpful method. If you like music, play anything you enjoy. It does help to find someone to vent to. Even if it doesn't solve anything, just venting out your frustration can do wonders for your emotional health.

If it still doesn't help, I would recommend seeing a therapist. Anxiety that consumes you on a daily basis isn't normal, it's not healthy either. There might be something that needs psychiatric medication, or exercises to help handle stress. Medicine cannot solve everything, but it can help tame your stress so that you can learn to gain a better hold on it.

Cheer up though, you're not alone and it can get better if you work on it. You might need to find your own way to solving it since everyone is different, but that's just something that comes with being human and having a wonderful organ known as the brain.

 

[maidenm]

I suffer from generalized anxiety disorder. :< It is a horrible mental affliction that makes the brain find itself almost unable to cope with any form of stress. Stress will tend to manifest itself through anticipating future events, fearing possible loss, paranoid about what may happen, and a general fear of the unknown. It is extremely hard at first to cope with stress, especially if it overwhelms you on a daily basis.

Deep breathing exercises help, trying to make a safe-zone for yourself is another helpful method. If you like music, play anything you enjoy. It does help to find someone to vent to. Even if it doesn't solve anything, just venting out your frustration can do wonders for your emotional health.

If it still doesn't help, I would recommend seeing a therapist. Anxiety that consumes you on a daily basis isn't normal, it's not healthy either. There might be something that needs psychiatric medication, or exercises to help handle stress. Medicine cannot solve everything, but it can help tame your stress so that you can learn to gain a better hold on it.

Cheer up though, you're not alone and it can get better if you work on it. You might need to find your own way to solving it since everyone is different, but that's just something that comes with being human and having a wonderful organ known as the brain.

Thank you very much for your comment, I'm having a bad day (in addition to the usual) and this really cheered me up

I see a therapist regularly, it really does help but I've been wondering if I shouldn't see if I can get more frequent meetings. Just having someone to talk to without worry is probably one of the best ways to deal with these sort of issues.

I find putting things into perspective can help when I'm stressed.

You're stressed about your school work? Remember that you go to a very prestigious school and that not many people get that opportunity.

You're worried about how things will work out with your boyfriend? Again you have a boyfriend which you obviously care a lot about and if he's willing to move to another country then I'd say he cares an awful lot about you too. It can be easy to take that for granted but some people can't even get a boyfriend let alone maintain a relationship.

Perspective is important because we so often obsess over what we don't have whilst forgetting what we do.

While this is good advice, I'm not sure it is in my situation. See, my stress doesn't come from what I want to have, but rather what I might lose. When I remember that my school is awesome I get scared because I might fail and lose that. When I remind myself that my boyfriend is sweet and wonderful, I get stressed over the idea that it might not work out :/


Thank you everyone, I got an exam at the end of the week now that worries me but I think the next course is going to be easier. I started to get used to exercising and I've been eating less junk food. I still feel quite bad, but at least I feel a little better physically. I think that counts for something