Ever wanted a quick buck for no effort? Have something so useless that no self respecting adult would buy it? Never fear because there is something you can do. The Tween Market is an expansive goldmine that is being mined at a steady rate. But you can take your share because there's plenty for everybody. Follow these rules and you will soon be raking in the bitches and bucks. Note: Bitches and Bucks is a copyrighted term and usage of it results in a $100 royalty to me.
[HEADING=2]1. Idealism[/HEADING]
This is something everyone wants, not just teens. But with adults, the idea of a perfect world with interesting things is merely an escape, purely entertainment. For preteens its their life, if you have a tv show, book, movie, or other medium to tell a story, make everything as perfect as possible. Of course there will need to be a problem to solve or else its a documentary, but have the problem solved in such a way that if any teen gets themselves in that zany wacky situation they can get out of it just as quick. If there is are kids who go to school, the scenes need to be away from it, they don't like watching students in class. If they are in class, then have then talk to each other at a normal volume without getting trouble. Tweens dream of this so showing them what if could be like is great for their minds, and your bank account. A student who are good at school should not be the main character, this is too threatening to them so have them be a secondary. Someone who is uber-smart yet will willing to whisper answers. Ever dumbass preteen with a D in math wishes they have a fiend who would do this, again idealism. another big part that you will need in your story is lost and lost of sayings, catchphrases, similes, etc. Have people talk in prose yet with a poetic flair, tweens never know what to say to people except for 'yeah', 'I'll do it later', and 'omg'. The characters should be as entertaining to hear as much as they're entertaining to listen to. finally, tweens think their perfect world should have a perfect someone to share it with, which brings us to...
[HEADING=2]2. Relationships[/HEADING]
No matter what it is you're making; toy, food, book; you need to have love in there somewhere. Tweens don't yet understand love and need your products to guide them. With tv shows, have all the characters whine about not having a boy/girlfriend, and have main plot problems revolve around dating. Dating is the ski lift to this mountain of money. Tweens love to date, I would even say that its more important to them than sleep, but this is just an estimate. They need someone to hug in the hallways between classes to fill that empty void that was formed by previous attempts to cater to their needs, the reassurance that someone their age thinks they're cool, and not whatever negative their parents say. Anything can be a date if done right, and if done right they will love your product, emulating what they say, up to the kiss. But this landslide of jewels could kill you as easily as it could provide for you.
Sex is a big no-no to show, tweens want to have sex younger but don't really know what it is, how its done, or what the consequences are. NEVER have a pregnant teen in the story, even of they understand how impregnation works, they associate it with their parents which is not cool and will drive them away. Sexuality is okay, because preteens want to be desired, everyone does, so having sexy characters will boost your profit. The male audience is the equivalent to silver, a good resource but nothing groundbreaking. The female audience however, is the 113th element, attractive slightly older male characters are a must have. Personality is not needed, because the teen girls who will watch/read your work will super impose their desired qualities to him.
Think of the male as a Computer Bare Bones set, the girls will put in their own individual wants. The ram is his amazing intelligence, the video card is his attention to her. Having a character that is well written with undesirable traits to teens (cynicism, narcissist, geeky looking) are great ways to cause drama through someone they can collectively hate. There will be some Rad Chads who will like him for his quirkiness (ironically) which leads us too...
[HEADING=2]3. Humor[/HEADING]
Anything marked for tweens must be funny. Even if its main message is serious, that in itself will be inherently funny to those who don't get it. And none of them will get it, trust me. Humor is something that is easy to achieve, if they remember something funny they will repeat certain scenes to their friends as if they wrote the material and laugh like its the first time they heard it. Thats when you know you're doing it right, you want to keep the humor simple, running gags are good, but each instance must stand on its own or nobody will pick up on it.
1. Have one or two characters that are funny all the time:
Another way to have humor that fits in both styles is to have each character have a 'quirk'. This sets them apart from the rest so that they can be nicknamed by their quirk. For example a girl might still sleep with her teddy, this is something many teens will find funny because its so pathetic. But don't worry about those who don't find it funny, because they also sleep with their teddies, they just don't admit it. when a tween feels a personal connection between a character, then they are a secured fan. Think of quirks as a game of cards, where the higher numbers are good quirks. You want all the high numbers spread out between a lot of good guys, and the low numbers given to a few characters, these are the 'weirdos' that the tweens are supposed to hate. they can be also be the clown but its okay if they aren't, pay attention to current trends to morph this character(s) as needed. Be careful not to give a defining quirk to your Bare Bones character, this will break the illusion that they belong to whoever thinks they own him. Give him a passive quirk such as a skill he hides (cooking, theater. etc), this suggests that he is shy yet talented.
With all these rules followed, you're well on your way to making the next big Hannah Montana, Twilight, or heck, the new Barbie. Hopefully you'll give me a cut when you utilize this winning formula, and don't let the tweens see this, or else they'll think that they've 'figured it out' and spread the word. Then your fortress of Gold and Ruby will collapse to a legion of people Who Really Don't Like the Fact that They're Sheep. Goodbye.
[small][small]Any errors you find please tell me, this is a 'comedy writing' so I want it to be good and presentable.[/small][/small]
[HEADING=2]1. Idealism[/HEADING]
This is something everyone wants, not just teens. But with adults, the idea of a perfect world with interesting things is merely an escape, purely entertainment. For preteens its their life, if you have a tv show, book, movie, or other medium to tell a story, make everything as perfect as possible. Of course there will need to be a problem to solve or else its a documentary, but have the problem solved in such a way that if any teen gets themselves in that zany wacky situation they can get out of it just as quick. If there is are kids who go to school, the scenes need to be away from it, they don't like watching students in class. If they are in class, then have then talk to each other at a normal volume without getting trouble. Tweens dream of this so showing them what if could be like is great for their minds, and your bank account. A student who are good at school should not be the main character, this is too threatening to them so have them be a secondary. Someone who is uber-smart yet will willing to whisper answers. Ever dumbass preteen with a D in math wishes they have a fiend who would do this, again idealism. another big part that you will need in your story is lost and lost of sayings, catchphrases, similes, etc. Have people talk in prose yet with a poetic flair, tweens never know what to say to people except for 'yeah', 'I'll do it later', and 'omg'. The characters should be as entertaining to hear as much as they're entertaining to listen to. finally, tweens think their perfect world should have a perfect someone to share it with, which brings us to...
[HEADING=2]2. Relationships[/HEADING]
No matter what it is you're making; toy, food, book; you need to have love in there somewhere. Tweens don't yet understand love and need your products to guide them. With tv shows, have all the characters whine about not having a boy/girlfriend, and have main plot problems revolve around dating. Dating is the ski lift to this mountain of money. Tweens love to date, I would even say that its more important to them than sleep, but this is just an estimate. They need someone to hug in the hallways between classes to fill that empty void that was formed by previous attempts to cater to their needs, the reassurance that someone their age thinks they're cool, and not whatever negative their parents say. Anything can be a date if done right, and if done right they will love your product, emulating what they say, up to the kiss. But this landslide of jewels could kill you as easily as it could provide for you.
Sex is a big no-no to show, tweens want to have sex younger but don't really know what it is, how its done, or what the consequences are. NEVER have a pregnant teen in the story, even of they understand how impregnation works, they associate it with their parents which is not cool and will drive them away. Sexuality is okay, because preteens want to be desired, everyone does, so having sexy characters will boost your profit. The male audience is the equivalent to silver, a good resource but nothing groundbreaking. The female audience however, is the 113th element, attractive slightly older male characters are a must have. Personality is not needed, because the teen girls who will watch/read your work will super impose their desired qualities to him.
Think of the male as a Computer Bare Bones set, the girls will put in their own individual wants. The ram is his amazing intelligence, the video card is his attention to her. Having a character that is well written with undesirable traits to teens (cynicism, narcissist, geeky looking) are great ways to cause drama through someone they can collectively hate. There will be some Rad Chads who will like him for his quirkiness (ironically) which leads us too...
[HEADING=2]3. Humor[/HEADING]
Anything marked for tweens must be funny. Even if its main message is serious, that in itself will be inherently funny to those who don't get it. And none of them will get it, trust me. Humor is something that is easy to achieve, if they remember something funny they will repeat certain scenes to their friends as if they wrote the material and laugh like its the first time they heard it. Thats when you know you're doing it right, you want to keep the humor simple, running gags are good, but each instance must stand on its own or nobody will pick up on it.
1. Have one or two characters that are funny all the time:
2. Have a funny plot with no one is particular as the clown.
As you can see in the second scenario Cindy is embarrassed (something tweens want to relate to and sometimes actually do) and she must rectify this problem, preferably in a funny way.
Another way to have humor that fits in both styles is to have each character have a 'quirk'. This sets them apart from the rest so that they can be nicknamed by their quirk. For example a girl might still sleep with her teddy, this is something many teens will find funny because its so pathetic. But don't worry about those who don't find it funny, because they also sleep with their teddies, they just don't admit it. when a tween feels a personal connection between a character, then they are a secured fan. Think of quirks as a game of cards, where the higher numbers are good quirks. You want all the high numbers spread out between a lot of good guys, and the low numbers given to a few characters, these are the 'weirdos' that the tweens are supposed to hate. they can be also be the clown but its okay if they aren't, pay attention to current trends to morph this character(s) as needed. Be careful not to give a defining quirk to your Bare Bones character, this will break the illusion that they belong to whoever thinks they own him. Give him a passive quirk such as a skill he hides (cooking, theater. etc), this suggests that he is shy yet talented.
With all these rules followed, you're well on your way to making the next big Hannah Montana, Twilight, or heck, the new Barbie. Hopefully you'll give me a cut when you utilize this winning formula, and don't let the tweens see this, or else they'll think that they've 'figured it out' and spread the word. Then your fortress of Gold and Ruby will collapse to a legion of people Who Really Don't Like the Fact that They're Sheep. Goodbye.
[small][small]Any errors you find please tell me, this is a 'comedy writing' so I want it to be good and presentable.[/small][/small]