How would you conquer the world?

[DethVanXan]

I've been think about this lately and I figured some outside ideas would be good. So tell me, escapists, how would you conquer this planet of ours?

TL;DR How would you make this world your *****?

Obviously, such a feat is nigh on impossible. The force needed to defeat the combined armies of the world and resulting insurgencies, would be utterly immense. But what I want to know is how you would go about beginning such a crusade, assuming it was possible.

Would you attempt a military victory? If so, how? Personally, I think planting special teams in a city, striking at vital points (Power plants, city hall etc) would be the best bet. Sriking at the heart of your target and seizing their leaders would create chaos among the higher ranks as they figureed out what just happened, giving you time to strike again.

Obviously there are numerous ways you could begin this. So tell me how you would do it.

 

[emeraldrafael]

Financially, the only plausible way. Id' take over the world, control every nation's finances. then , after it got boring, I'd plunge it all into chaos through financial collapse, setting aside enough to keep my and a select few others on an island where we have all we need to live peacefully and watch.

 

[BlumiereBleck]

Well like in risk, I take control of America and Europe. The most influential forces on Earth. Start a war in Asia, Annex inhabited woods above America and Mexico. Win war in Asia, move forces into South America then Middle East and Africa...the rest of the world will tremble and admit defeat(this spans for a good 20 years....does not happen fast)

 

[Vampire cat]

I'd use religion. Belief is the most powerful tool when used wro- *ahem* right. Making sure to set me as the center figure in this religious illusion I'd get to the demented and forgotten part of the world... It's already been done before, not on a world-scale but it has been. Waco, Helter Skelter, that stuff (hope I didn't offend anyone!).

No it's not a very plesant way, but hey. Thats what I'd do =3. With such a devoted and fanatic force behind me, doing surgical strikes on places of importance and people of power wouldn't be so hard, and with a sufficient number of followers and some big money (just how I'd go about getting funds I don't know, it's such a circumstantial thing) fear can be effectively deployed to bend the people to your will... It would take a lifetime, but I'm very intrigued by it OO.

Constant show of force, just like certain countries keep their own population and neighboring countries under control already, trough fear. It's a perfectly viable option, though quite far fetched ^^.

 

[Drakmeire]

I'd try and focus on the media and create massive fear in all large superpowers causeing them to become distrusting and break off ties leading to several wars that will live them weak and unprepared for my invincible army of KITTENS!!!!
http://www.wayodd.com/funny-pictures2/funny-pictures-killer-kitten-1ka.jpg
THE FOOLS WILL NEVER SEE IT COMING!!!!

 

[viranimus]

Best way I can think of doing it is start by raising enough funds to buy a massive amount of property within a dirt poor nation with land no one wants (IE deserts, tundra, etc). From there build up a capital city in order to start generating production that could be sorted for trade in order to grow funding. Focus your export production in areas that are irrelevant to the low quality of territory you hold, things such as technology, drugs, other such production.

As time goes on progressively keep expanding until you basically own the host country. From there you have your first foothold. Control your fledgling nations production and continue on an economic based growth. Begin to start direct relationships with your neighbor nations. Use them to form a coalition of nations to gain greater global strength and independence than what being one solitary nation could be, while maintaining the facade of sovereignty to each partner.

Begin process of sending out subversive units to undercut the stability of those friendly nations to the point that your nation seems to be the only hope and absorb them into your nation. Once this has been done to maintain a large landmass Say half a continent or better, start building up massive military forces. Begin a propaganda campaign that mirrors alot of what the roman empire embodied, the notion of a nation built on accepting cultures, yet erradicating them in the process to build a great empire.

During this phase you also encourage values such as rampant breeding, because lets face it your going to need a hell of a population to pull this off. Once you have access to say a billion or so under your control, its time to make a move. Your first target would need to be big, real big. The bigger the better. However you have to be careful because you will need your first strike to be a crippling one. You will want spies deeply immersed in that target, as well as other subvertive forces ready to move on a moments notice. You would need to basically cripple your target in one fell swoop with overwhelming force and hefty amounts of shock and awe.

Once you have your big target under control begin to indoctrinate them into accepting your ideas as being just and valid. Make yourself seem like a liberator and that you saved them from the corrupt evil out there. From there you want to pick off some of the larger countries that were smaller than your big target in order to quickly bolster your forces in preparation for any larger nations left standing on their own. By this point should you have this much control you would want to take a defensive posture and work on crippling your remaining enemies through economic means rather than military might by keeping a strong stranglehold on global trade markets. In time your opponents will burn out their resources and have little choice but to join or dissolve.

Great, now I sound like a friggen terrorist, instead of the tactics/strategy fan I am. Thanks.

 

[Nouw]

Release the Kraken

I never wish to do so but I would first do that. FOR THE LULZ!

Then release my personal Adeptus Arstates Chapter! Maybe Chaos...
[sub]HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHHA[/sub]

 

[Jazzyjazz2323]

Through total military domination,I'd stage a military coup in America under fall pretenses of over throwing our currently Inept government and restoring to it back to it's former glory.Following that I'd begin the systematic conquest of Canada and Mexico through rapid blitzkrieg attacks on their borders,after that I'll begin to set up garrisons in these countries whose sole purpose will be to destroy any resistance cells.The third phase of this conquest would be followed by air strikes over the entire south American continent and Invasion of all major cities followed by firebombing the multiple rain forest to kill any guerrilla fighters once again followed by multiple garrisons.Then would come the massive build up of my navy and airforce to precede my invasion of Europe and the defense of my western borders from Asia.Basically everything I'll do will be a military action.

 

[DethVanXan]

Some good ideas so far. Kittens, yes very good...
Keep them coming.

I was also thinking along the lines of an oligarchy that ruled with fear. Once they had a foothold and sufficient force behind them, they could spread in any manner of ways... cult of personality, financial...

 

[DatCracker]

1)Use wikileaks to find out the secrets of every world leader
2)blackmail all of them
3)????
4)Profit

 

[A Gent of Villainous Intent]

First off, I would grab the: Evil Overlord's Checklist[url].

I would then buy out the top scientists in the world to make a new energy source, at which point I would EMP the world and plunge them all into the Dark Ages, then unleash a robot horde that is powered by said energy source and take over the world.

 

[Zykon TheLich]

I tell Obama, Sarkozy, Cameron, etc that Putin, Jintao/Jiabao etc said something bad about their mothers and vice versa, thus reigniting the cold war. After a few decades of nuclear stockpiling I steal a nuclear sub and launch half the missiles at the US/Europe and half at russia/China, thus triggering all out nuclear war. Then when everyone else is dead I emerge victorious to rule over my glorious empire. Job done, easy.

 

[Axzarious]

Gain control by buying out various corperations, products, ect. Then proceed to take over all forms of media, as well as somehow gaining control of various religions. Next, would be school systems. I would then proceed to use those various ties to slowly brainwash people with a more or less uniform ideal and subliminal messages. Control the perception of the common masses is the key to the world. The common masses really have nothing significant about themselves except for the raw percentage of the population they take up. After that, its just using them to dictate what the remaining 5% actually accomplish.

Ideally, in the end, nobody would know that I have complete control over the world. It would probably take a crapton of time though.

 

[SomeLameStuff]

I'll ask these guys

Spoiler

They've been quite successful after all.

 

[DethVanXan]

I'll ask these guys

Spoiler

They've been quite successful after all.

I admire their tenacity, but thier success to failure ratio leves something to be desired.

 

[spacecowboy86]

Okay, so first I would invent a mind control ray that works on children, then I would use my juvenile army and outfit them with mind control rays that work on animals, then I would put the children on the animals and give them mind control devices that work on regular adults. Imagine my juvenile army of hyperactive 8 year old riding on battalions of polars bears, dog, cats, deer, and every other animal you can think of invading the capitals of the world.

 

[qwertyzxy27]

easy i would work my way up the corporate ladder at Mcdonalds while making friends with corrupt high up nuclear physicists i would redesign the MsDonalds M and put nuclear warheads in all of them to be shipped out around the world that would allow me to take over all developed nations (the sheer number of Mikey D,s would allow me to hold whole countries at ransom) then use their combined armies to take over the less developed nations. simple

 

[2012 Wont Happen]

I would gather enough money to simply bribe all the world's governments.

 

[derelict]

Easy. Nukes. Conquer the world and be king of the graveyard, sitting on a mile high throne of millions of piled up radioactive corpses, and who cares that you're sterile, you're the last person left on Earth!

Hindsight being 20/20, you'll realize conquering the world wasn't as cool in practice as it sounded.

 

[Romidude]

Bore all major world leaders to death.