How would you explain Christmas to an alien?

[DiMono]

A man with a white beard who lives in the sky decided to make a girl pregnant against her will, and some time in the Fall he was born a second time through her. Eventually people got all pissed off at him and strung him up on a cross until he died, but he wasn't really dead, and then he went back up to the sky again anyway.

And that's why we give presents in December.

 

[DigitalSushi]

I'd show them an M&S ad. No need for words, they'll get it.

Indeed, Christmas is about Take That spending the afternoon in front of a fire with that hot model that does the bra adverts for Marks and Spencers.

I'm on a tight budget this year, so I've got Black Lace roasting on the fire.

 

[The Geek Lord]

Christmas is that time of year where I remember that I'm lonely on the inside and cry into a pillow.

See, it's funny because I do nothing but play Japanese video games, and am therefore a geek, so this constitutes a joke. Somehow.

You should have told me earlier, I would have bought you a pillow for Christmas.

OT: I'd tell the Aliens that Christmas is about worshiping Sush (thats me) and I should be showered with humanoid green skinned girls, and given a giant robot car!

YOU! DIG! GIANT ROBOTS!
I! DIG! GIANT ROBOTS!
WE! DIG! GIANT ROBOTS!
CHICKS! DIG! GIANT ROBOTS!
*Guitar solo*
Nice.

Best show ever, period.

 

[DigitalSushi]

Christmas is that time of year where I remember that I'm lonely on the inside and cry into a pillow.

See, it's funny because I do nothing but play Japanese video games, and am therefore a geek, so this constitutes a joke. Somehow.

You should have told me earlier, I would have bought you a pillow for Christmas.

OT: I'd tell the Aliens that Christmas is about worshiping Sush (thats me) and I should be showered with humanoid green skinned girls, and given a giant robot car!

YOU! DIG! GIANT ROBOTS!
I! DIG! GIANT ROBOTS!
WE! DIG! GIANT ROBOTS!
CHICKS! DIG! GIANT ROBOTS!
*Guitar solo*
Nice.

Best show ever, period.

It is THE BEST SHOW ever, how the fuck it got cancelled I'll never know, the monologue Coops does to Evil Coops on the last episode gets me everytime, "AND WORST OF ALL, YOU MADE ME SKINNY!".

Even my Mother watched it and she's into period drama's (women and their period drama's aye? FNAR FNAR! HURR HURR!)

 

[Boletes Net]

If you think about it, Christmas is an extremely odd holiday. I mean, you can say it's about the birth of Christ all you want, but in all actuality Christ wasn't even born in December, and every major religion in the world has a big hooplah at the end of December. But that's besides the point. What would you tell an alien who was visiting Earth about what Christmas was?

I'd simply tell them it was the earth equivelant of 'Galarganose' (a holiday celebrated by alines in several regions of the galaxy in which they exchange gifts)

 

[Stuntcrab]

Its the time of year where you give me anything I want...

 

[Moonpig123]

http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/470.jpg

 

[El Poncho]

A time of year where everyone gets together and gives gifts to their loved ones. Well that's what it's supposed to be but it turns into one big ball of lazor beam stress and pressure.

 

[emeraldrafael]

In hte religious aspect?

I'd just say a very important man was born, a man who would grow up and save the people his father had tried to forsake by giving himself instead of running and living. We celebrate his birth by giving each other gifts, as the birth of this man heralded the time of good fortunes. The birth of a man who would grow to save us all from ourselves.

But in the commercial aspect?
Yo, a fat magical man comes down the chimenys because someone in history did something that was vaguely close to it, so we give each other presents cause it taught us to forgive and give to our neighbors.

Thats really the best I could do.

 

[TehCookie]

A time to party how you see fit. Some people gather with their family and try to not hate each other. Others say fuck it go hang out with friends and celebrate Jesus's birthday like they would any other, with shots of whiskey, fireworks, and lots of presents (but for everyone).

 

[FalloutJack]

Hopefully better than the guy on that one Doctor Who episode.

 

[Chris^^]

I wouldn't want to explain it at all, I mean if an alien civilisiation appeared that was capable of trying to understand us chances are they'd be far more advanced than us, I wouldn't want to subject them to the manifold inadequacies of our species.
A holiday that's date was decided upon to coincide with prexisting festivals that was supposed to only be relevant to one social group but is now more an all encompassing celebration of consumerism and greed than the intended message of giving, I doubt they'd be impressed somehow.

 

[JoshGod]

I suppose as there have always been celebrations around that time as it's the end of the year.

 

[AK47Marine]

It's a holiday period in which we all get together and try to be nice to everyone in our lives by taking out all of our negative feelings and attitudes on any one who happens to work in retail sales.