How would you take over the world?

[ShadowsofHope]

I have a few

An orbital death ray powered by kittens, puppies, and friendship

Mind control through video games

Framing Canada for a crime

Lace bacon with a plague, and sell the cure for enough money that I could buy the earth

You magnificent, evil S.O.B.

OT: Giant Robots with laser swords, Death Star in orbit, and little kittens to accompany said Giant Robots so Earth's militaries will never be able to get a shot off in fear of hurting said little kittens. After I take over Earth, everyone gets free internet as long as they remain loyal to me. Otherwise, they are stuck with DIAL-UP. [sub]That's right. I went there.[/sub]

Perfect evil plan!

 

[aegix drakan_v1legacy]

I would hack EVERYTHING.
And send out a robot army to make sure things stayed under control.

And then send a message of peace to the world now under my rule, while also letting everyone know that douchebaggery and excessive greed would be punishable by a kick to the nads.

 

[Iron Lightning]

I'd have sex with everyone and then politely ask them to elect me leader of the world. No better way to curry favor than fucking.

 

[Midnight Crossroads]

I would invent the Holodeck.

 

[ChildofGallifrey]

Marmosets. A fearsome, endless army of marmosets.

 

[JordanXlord]

There is only one way to take over the world


Kiddnap the World of all its Bacon and they must make me their Ruler, in order to get it back

 

[The Artificially Prolonged]

Brain Slugs!

But first I must find a way to purge this planet of it's sworn protector, our dreaded foe...THE HATS!

 

[lokiduck]

I would poison the gum supply. Someone suggested this idea to me a few years back and Every since I am convinced that poisoning gum will surely kill all the idiots to like that crap and make people afraid of me.

Then I'd offer them all free puppies, kitties, bunnies, and fish and make the world like a James Bond film.

 

[Delock]

1. Build a giant robot... in space... with superlasers
2. Destroy Alderaan/moon to show I mean business
3. Demand to be made "Super Emperor of Earth" or other such silly title, complete with equally silly attire (that must double as armor) and matched themed armor for my mass of minions.
4. Rebuild moon if destroyed in step 2. Otherwise falsify evidence of Alderaan aggression
5. Read up on the Evil Overlord's list

 

[Doomcat]

Create an incredibly addictive, incredibly popular game, and let people play with the alpha/beta

Set the release date to 11/11/11, and at about the same time you release the game, thus distracting everyone in the world. release you're armies into all the major cities

Take over the world by force while making sure everyone is still happy with the game.

I have no idea where this...idea, came from (hehe...)

 

[SillyNilly]

i must write ponyfics now?

It has been demanded by Lord Inglip, make it so!

Let it be known under Lord Inglip's unbending rule and terrifying power that he is a [color=e2d262]Fluttershy[/color] fangirl fanboy!

OT: I'd take a page from Albert Wesker's Guide to World Domination (Vol IV, Chapter 12, Section 7), and choose COMPLETE GLOBAL PONIFICATION!

Muahahaha! Poni all day, everyday day!

 

[zarguhl]

Put out a lot of convincing TV ads and research papers to convince everyone they are insane and need to take drugs to cure themselves.

Eventually when insanity and drugs are considered normal and enough people are drugged, then use the authority given my team as the experts in the field to declare one by one all the most able people in the world insane and have laws passed that allow you to take them for treatment and drug them or give them ECT or psychosurgery based on the opinions of a few of my colleagues.

Then when the most able are destroyed, the rest of society will be helpess and easy to convince of their need for my help with drugs and other treatments. They'll be poor, despondent and helpless, knowing that they can't do anything anyway, because they are mentally ill and hopeless and need my drugs to be normal.

Then I'd rule the world.

Edit:
Oh yeah and I'd throw in a few general scare campaigns just to keep people nice and scared. Tell them Rapture is coming, the world is warming or cooling or changing or something.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

Destroy cellphones and porn.

The world we grovel at my feet.

 

[zombiesinc]

The first thing that comes to mind:

Spoiler

I really doubt I'd ever wake up with a sudden urge to take over the world though. If I did however, I think I'd just follow Pinky and the Brain episode by episode. It'll never work, but it'd be entertaining at least.

Actually, I like this idea better:

Two words.
Zombie Strippers.
That's it, the end of all free thought and individualism.
Zombie Strippers.

 

[Fayathon]

i must write ponyfics now?

It has been demanded by Lord Inglip, make it so!

Let it be known under Lord Inglip's unbending rule and terrifying power that he is a [color=e2d262]Fluttershy[/color] fangirl fanboy!

OT: I'd take a page from Albert Wesker's Guide to World Domination (Vol IV, Chapter 12, Section 7), and choose COMPLETE GLOBAL PONIFICATION!

Muahahaha! Poni all day, everyday day!

Wait, when the hell did Wesker start with ponies? The thought terrifies me.

 

[Brandon237]

snip

Or we could rule it together if our goals are the same. I would only want that scheme to make the world a better place In the long run and to be immortal, if you want to have fun you can keep it afterwards.

If not, then you had better hope your defences are ready FAST >

You really think you could invade Siberia and Nepal? I think we could rule our respective regions of the world, playing off of the cold-war mentality we would foster in our respective citizens, while really having a strong alliance. Then if anyone attempts to usurp us, we will handily defeat them with the fruits of our mutual arms race.

That is the most diabolically brilliant scheme EVER. The cold war idea would mean that our people would always want us there for protection and inside knowledge of the situation, when in fact it is all staged to get more support and eventually colonise other planets.

Once this is done we can start a galactic empire from what the world would THINK is a broken planet that is in fact, united by two leaders that they would not Know are actually ruling them unilaterally and according to our, and only our wills.

Obligatory: "Mwuahahahaha".

 

[spartandude]

How else will i do it?