I (Also) Wrote That Crap

[Torus2112]

I thought they all looked like viable movies, I could see them in my head as I read about them. Each one struck me as being suited to a different route:

The way I saw it Beavers would be a good wide-release b-movie like Piranha 3D; it'd be tongue-in-cheek but you'd need a good budget to make it look credible, especially for the Bone Dam.

Bottlenose seemed like the best candidate for the SyFy treatment, all you need is to stick to the one running joke about how everyone believes a dolphin "couldn't possibly do these things because they're so NICE!". I'd love to see an old crazy fisherman who had his crew killed by dolphins in the 70s (let's say when Jaws came out), and who of course swears up and down dolphins are evil but whom nobody believes.

The Trekkie definitely has the most potential while being the most tricky; I see it like Fanboys, you just need to get the thing made and the audience will be there. I see it as less of a comedic horror and more of a dark comedy, but the main thing would be to keep the thing on the rails; I don't like it when geek culture jokes get too caught in the quick joke or the inside reference and fail to play the long game, which is what you need to do to have good satire.

 

[Gennadios]

Dude. Kickstart 'The Trekkie.' I'd back the shit out of it.

Edit: Ooooh, to bring the dead gamer portion into the modern age:

How about a Hannibal-like scene where The Trekkie talks a particularly vulgar COD player into swallowing his own tongue during an XBOX 360 match?

Then his corpse can be made the comm officer!

Yeah... I know, I'll sign the waiver.

 

[Windy Pig]

I quite like the idea of Trekkies. Lovely idea to have a great big super hero brawl at a comic-con. Would love to see people duking out as to who is the best superman/dredd/whoever they dressed as.

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

When he was talking about "Beavers" he also brought up he had one involving giant bees. Well I am here to tell you that horror movie already exists. In Real life. In two different versions.

The Asian Giant Hornet. For a long time I was apiphobic (bees and wasps). They still make me nervous, but I can usually walk swiftly past them now. Use to be I would bolt for the door if I saw one. that's the regular size. I thought I would only see the word "giant" followed by hornet you know, in a monster manual or cheesy sci-fi movie. No, these flying nightmares are completely real. every year 50-100 people die by their account, each of them horrifically.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fTrSOFyfxs This is presumably how they would treat us as well if we were small enough Or (oh dear god the humanity) they were large enough. An entomologist described the sting of these bastards as "being stabbed by a molten nail" No outrunning them either. They can fly 25 MPH, have ridiculous agility in the air, and can cover up to 60 miles in a day. heaven help you if one gets you near a nest. The sting contains a phermone that calls 29 or so of its buddies to descend apon you like a plague of hellborn death engines, proceed to make this world a scary damn place and **** your shit the hell up! And somehow they are only the 5th most horrifying insect on the planet!

The other Killer bees. Ok so they aren't giant. but they are bad enough as is. They look just ordinary bees, which makes them worse, because you can't tell the danger until it is way too late. That's where all similarities end. Normal bees give you a chance to get away. Killer bees do not roll this way. "Territorial" and "Aggressive" are two words nature takes very damn seriously. Apparently especially when it comes to flipping insects! Your mere existence seems to piss off both of these nightmarish bugs beyond mortal comprehension.

 

[rddj623]

I'm interested how these have shaped your writing now Bob. What projects are you currently working on, as a fellow film guy with a plethora of crap from the past as well, I find my projects now sometime cherry pick from the best bits of the older stuff.