I am honestly afraid of women now.

[VioletHero]

I have spent years reading about what not to do when it comes to women and what I gather, almost any interaction with women can be considered harassment now a days. If not any interaction all together. If a guy gets accused of harassment, he could get his career prospects ruined for life.

Just in an effort to avoid this happening I have been avoiding women because of this. But that is not okay either.

I can't just treat women like anyone else because the way I treat guys would without a doubt be considered harassment.

Wtf am I supposed to do?

 

[Revnak_v1legacy]

Edit: Please delete this post, it didn't follow the rules of the advice forum originally (which this thread was not in when I posted) and I don't think I can contribute to an actual advice thread on this subject.

 

[VioletHero]

What is redpill

 

[VioletHero]

For the record, I think that the oversensative paranoid type women are an extreme minority and I am positive a majority are great people. But it only takes one to misconstrue what you say to ruin your life forever.

 

[Thaluikhain]

Yeah, and it only takes one woman who thinks she's a vampire to tear out your throat with her teeth.

I have spent years reading about what not to do when it comes to women and what I gather, almost any interaction with women can be considered harassment now a days. If not any interaction all together.

Bullshit.

If not any interaction all together. If a guy gets accused of harassment, he could get his career prospects ruined for life.

A false accusation of harassment "might" ruin your life, but probably won't, even if it happened. Look at Tyson or the Steubenville rapists or Chad Evans, much beloved and their careers still going, despite being convicted.

In any case, though...yeah, I think it might be best if you just avoided women.

 

[VioletHero]

I would love to avoid women if possible. But I have to work with them. How do you talk to women without it being harassment? Just for work sake. I don't want to ask them out or anything. That is a death sentence.

 

[Frission]

You know this does show how bullshit this men vs women thing is. It's almost half the population, inherently fearing/stereotyping men or women is not logical.

That being said you two guys above are NOT helping at all, although there probably isn't a way to do anything over the Internet, but I'll say this:

I would love to avoid women if possible. But I have to work with them. How do you talk to women without it being harassment? Just for work sake. I don't want to ask them out or anything. That is a death sentence.

Look, sorry but women make up almost half the population. You'll have to deal with them. They're human beings and just treating them like you would treat men: Just say the cursory, hello, goodbye and "pass the document" like you would with other co-workers.

Or you could just communicate entirely with monosyllabic e-mails and phrases.

 

[VioletHero]

Thank you to whoever moved this. I put it in the wrong forum by accident.

Thing is though, the way I treat men isn't appropriate to do with women.

 

[lacktheknack]

Thing is though, the way I treat men isn't appropriate to do with women.

Aaaaaaaand there's your issue, I imagine.

I treat guys and girls the same way, and no one's batted an eye.

There's no point in worrying about the one unhinged individual. If that worried you, then you'd not be able to talk to anyone, because serial killers exist.

 

[manic_depressive13]

Respectful social interaction isn't hard. If you think the way you treat men can be construed as harassment if you switched the gender, perhaps you need to reconsider how you treat men.

 

[Aramis Night]

I might be inclined to actually address the question if I was able to muster up the belief that this is a genuine concern, but the 15 post count as of this moment doesn't fill me with a lot of confidence. I have spent plenty of time discussing the "battle of the sexes" on this forum but even I have an alarm ringing in my head over the possibility that this whole topic is just another set up for more of the same, rather than an individual truly living with concern over how to deal with women in the litigious or otherwise socially hostile environment we now live in.

 

[Smooth Operator]

Internet 101, anything that is not confirmed factual information is someone making shit up, more importantly it's someone exaggerating shit to stand out and look important. So if you have taken any part of your info on women from the internet consider it utter fantasy nonsense, even if it was from women themselves.

Out in the real world people actually enjoy socializing in a completely civil manner, they love to flirt and they love to do more then that. In here however is the monkey show, everyone turns up with a turd in their hand looking for something to throw it at.
Never the less if you encounter someone hostile then walk away, real world or the land of internet fantasy.

 

[Nukekitten]

If your aim is to avoid all risk of life-ruining, then however you behave that's probably not viable. In the same sense that I don't feel it's viable to behave in such a way as to absolutely avoid all risk of life-ruining injury in a car crash, or to behave so as to avoid all chances that someone at a pub will take offence to your existence.

If, however, your aim is just to reduce it to a reasonable level, then ? crazy people aside ? you have to be fairly far out on the curve yourself; either in terms of a serious lack of social skills or in terms of being an ass; to annoy most people sufficiently for them to represent a serious risk to you in day to day situations.

 

[Space Butterfly]

What is redpill

You have an oppertunity here please use it. Change the word redpill to chloroform.

 

[Secondhand Revenant]

Respectful social interaction isn't hard. If you think the way you treat men can be construed as harassment if you switched the gender, perhaps you need to reconsider how you treat men.

This is what I was thinking. What does he do to any guy he meets that is not appropriate for women? Whatever it is I can't imagine it being appropriate for all men he meets.

 

[renegade7]

I have spent years reading about what not to do when it comes to women

See, there's your first mistake, trying to systematize it. The reason is that there is no textbook, mechanical process to interacting with women (or anyone at all, really) and the advice you'll find if you try will either be too general to be of any use or thoroughly self-contradictory. Just take some time to think: you already know exactly what you need to do.

and what I gather, almost any interaction with women can be considered harassment now a days. If not any interaction all together. If a guy gets accused of harassment, he could get his career prospects ruined for life.

I won't deny that some women take things way out of proportion, but they're no more common than men who take casual civility as sexual interest and proceed to be infatuated for 2 years. There is absolutely no reason for you to worry about this. Just think of it reflectively: if a potential dating partner said something to you, would you consider it harassment? If not, then you're probably safe saying that. Just like above: use your instincts. You should already know what is and isn't appropriate. And if by some chance you somehow don't....well, you're not going to learn any other way.

The best thing you can do is be up front. There's nothing wrong with admitting you've had your feelings hurt in the past and that you feel cautious about women and just asking candidly if you're bothering her. The worst thing she can do is say she's not interested and ask you to leave her alone, only if you continue to bother her does it become "harassment". Which IMHO is actually a good thing to have happen, especially if you're nervous about rejection, because you need to be knocked down hard a few times to toughen up to it and realize that being rejected by the opposite sex is just a part of life, and you're going to be rejected far more than accepted.

Just in an effort to avoid this happening I have been avoiding women because of this. But that is not okay either.

Yea, that's really not a healthy outlook on things. I would suggest taking a minute to think about whether this is genuinely a political thing or if you're just nervous in general and looking for an outlet.

I can't just treat women like anyone else because the way I treat guys would without a doubt be considered harassment.

Wtf am I supposed to do?

Mistake number 2 is treating women like they're this remote "other" that is somehow so fundamentally different from your male friends that you need to completely reevaluate your understanding of social interaction in order to get anywhere with them. If your male friends haven't complained that you're creeping them out with whatever it is you're doing to them, I doubt many women will either.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

How do you talk to women without it being harassment? Just for work sake.

"Hi Deirdre, did you get that thing I sent you? No? Nah it's no big deal. Alright see you later!". And so.

 

[White Lightning]

How do you talk to women without it being harassment? Just for work sake.

"Hi Deirdre, did you get that thing I sent you? No? Nah it's no big deal. Alright see you later!". And so.

Did you just say the word THING?!?!? How dare you trigger me you misogynist [insert insult here]!!

Seriously though OP, if you're that scared of them just don't talk to them. Women are evil creatures that will steal your Mana. Your best bet is to avoid them at all costs until you have mastered your Wizard powers.

But for real seriousness, just relax and keep it professional. Literally only talk about work around women if you're that scared and you'll be fine. If someone tries to get personal or change the subject just excuse yourself or something.