"I can't believe I just did that...."

[leviathanmisha]

My extremely RELIGIOUS cousin who is against premarital sex was bragging about how her and her bf have been together for 3 years and never once done anything even remotely sexual. I turned to her with the biggest grin on my face and said, "Yeah, while you two were reading you bibles, me and my boyfriend were going at it like a pair of wild animals."

My cousin dropped her jaw in shock and my grandmother hit me upside the head. I kinda regret it now but not for her reaction, but because my head really hurt after that slap.

You have an extremely cousin?! Shit, thats bad!

OT: I dont really make massive blunders. Sure I do small ones all the time, but so does everybody else. I'm a pretty cautious person so I tend not to get myself into situations where my blunders get called out.

If they do, then I just lie

Well, recently my internet was off for like a week and after trying all I could from my end I called BT (my ISP) to get it sorted out. They told me it was a problem at the exchange and it would be fixed in a day or 2. It wasnt.

I called back asking them wtf they were doing and a few days lter they sent an engineer out.

Turns out that the exchange problem had been fixed when they said it would, and I whilst I was raging around trying to fix it from my end, I had accidentally put 2 micro-filters on my internet line instead of one, so no internet got through at all. Totally my fault. Hawkward!

That's my absolutely riveting contribution to this thread

Wow...I failed...see...blunder! And I fixed said blunder...

 

[swolf]

Some of you may be familiar with a recent thread that involves the hypothetical question, "What would you do if you could stop time?" Quite a few you you may also be familiar with the very first post in the thread (Written by yours truly) that went as such:

Masterbate.

Come on, you were thinking it.

I recieved a good number of reply ranging from "You sick fuck!" to "Yes that's exactly what I was thinking." Feeling good with myself with my lulzy comment, I went to my soccer game with a good feeling. Upon my return, I had even more comments. But one thing stuck out. It wasn't something anyone had replied with. It was my own post.

I spelled Masturbate wrong! Son. Of. A. *****.

I put it to the Escapist: Have you ever had a similiar situation? Where you have something awesome/funny/mind blowing and yet be completely wrong? Did said error completely ruin anything you had going like mine did to me?

Don't you just love the stupid responses you get. I've learn to post "do not quote me, I don't want to argue". That normally reduces negative responses but you will still get those stubborn few. I don't understand why people were against that comment. Seriously, it's not that offensive. It's not like you said that you would sexually assault any body/thing and EVERYBODY has done it so why would they make such a big deal over it. I'd give you a cookie for Internet Honesty. That was my mature comment...now on to the obligatory immature comment:

My extremely cousin who is against premarital sex was bragging about how her and her bf have been together for 3 years and never once done anything even remotely sexual. I turned to her with the biggest grin on my face and said, "Yeah, while you two were reading you bibles, me and my boyfriend were going at it like a pair of wild animals."

My cousin dropped her jaw in shock and my grandmother hit me upside the head. I kinda regret it now but not for her reaction, but because my head really hurt after that slap.

Pffft!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

 

[Blueruler182]

I misspeak all the time. And it pisses me off every time. I swear, the more I think about what I'm going to say the more I fuck it up while saying it.

 

[swolf]

They caught me once like...3 years ago?

To be honest, I'd be worried if I had a kid who didn't do it. However I would never like to catch my kid jacking it. I hope there was no Sonic the Hedgehog porn involved. That would be PRETTY awkward. Sounds like your parents are pretty cool anyway. A friend of mines Dad once gave him his porn collection and gave him pointers on it when he was 13. Count yourself lucky

Well it was my mother...then she left, minutes later my dad came in and I went to their and and they basically said:

"It's your body, do what you want.

No porn."

Course, I still watch porn, I'd imagine dad is only worries about viruses anyway since I'm well aware 90% of pornography is not how sex usually goes in terms of what goes on (since porn is fake anyway, meaning there's no actual intimacy going on).

My dad doesn't have a porn collection and I wouldn't want to have his....

I was given a brand new adult mag for Easter one time. I thought my bro was kidding when he saw it first and told me about it. He wasn't...my dad thought it was funny and was annoyed that bits of his collection ended up missing (this was about 7/8 years ago).

 

[Kimarous]

There was this one time a few years back when I was at the peak of my otaku phase... I was trying to track down a particular game (can't remember which right now) and asked my local EB Games. They didn't have it, but the guy was nice enough to call the other stores in town to see if they had it; one of them did and he gave me the address. In my joy, I exclaimed "Gomenasai! Gomenasai!" and left in a hurry.

It wasn't until I got home that I started mentally kicking myself, realizing that I said "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" instead of my intended "Thank you! Thank you!" (which would have been "Arigato! Arigato!")

I haven't uttered a word of Japanese in public since...

 

[Disaster Button]

Often something funny/awesome/offensive will pop into my head but in my rush to get the words out I trip all over them and pretty much just making one giant DUH sound making myself look like an idiot.

 

[DividedUnity]

One time my cousins girlfriend said to me "I wonder why chips taste so bad if you drink water"

I replied without thinking, "Because water and oil taste horrible mixed together"

As soon as I'd said it I realised but she still caught it.

 

[swolf]

.

Ah, cool. Yeah, my family used to be STRICT christian (like, if you expose your elbows then you're going to hell strict) but have since relaxed and only my mom and sister still claim the religion though neither one attends church...and one is an alcoholic...odd. Also, Shavua Tov. (For those of you who don't know, that's a Jewish greeting meaning "Have a good week").

 

[swolf]

.

Ah, cool. Yeah, my family used to be STRICT christian (like, if you expose your elbows then you're going to hell strict) but have since relaxed and only my mom and sister still claim the religion though neither one attends church...and one is an alcoholic...odd. Also, Shavua Tov. (For those of you who don't know, that's a Jewish greeting meaning "Have a good week").

Oh Catholics, never ceasing to amaze me. Not that I'm prejudiced, whatever turns you on I say. Just don't include me.

We're reformed Jews, my family is anyway, they consider my "Jewish" but I don't much like labels being pressed on me and I don't understand how "jewish blood" is any different from human blood.

Anyway, my point in mentioning that is that I don't know many Jewish terms but thanks I guess.

My family isn't strict about it but I'm quite sure my parents don't like that I disown or rather, don't give a toss about "my" Judaism. I don't see the point in all of it and none of their ideals flow with mine in anyway and more than once god has pissed in my face and I'd rather blame myself for my actions rather than some omnipotent thing.

In fact, I think religion degrades society due to the lack of responsibility one requires since they can just pray their deeds away.

Heaven forbid.

Nope, I was raised as strict pentecostal. Watch "Borat" and you'll get an idea of the type of church service I had to attend every Sunday. Also, I've had that "Jewish blood" vs "normal blood" debate with people before who thought there was a difference (shouldn't I be the one claiming that there was a difference considering that I'm mostly of German blood? Oh well.) Also, I don't diss religion as I've met people who use it as a way to deal with problems that would be overwhelming otherwise. So, to those who "need" it, I'll let them have their god. I don't believe in it though.

 

[hazabaza1]

One time my cousins girlfriend said to me "I wonder why chips taste so bad if you drink water"

I replied without thinking, "Because water and oil taste horrible mixed together"

As soon as I'd said it I realised but she still caught it.

...I don't get it.

OT: I can't really think of anything. I usually blank that sort of stuff out of my memory.