I can't Figure out why this bothers me so much.

[crimsonshrouds]

Yesterday I Broke down into a heavy amount of depression. This happened because apparently I don't have any real friends outside of work... Yeah I'm not going there.

Anyways, my birthday coming up on the 10th. I haven't had a happy birthday since i was a child. Family either died near birthday or were in the hospital on my birthday. On the morning of my 10th birthday I woke up to a dead pet. So you can guess that my birthday really doesn't matter to me usually.

At the end of December I decide to put in to Have my birthday off because I never get Sundays off. I guess at the time i might have thought to make this month more positive but I'm not sure. I don't know what i was thinking at the time of doing that. I told my parents about putting it in to have this day not sure what I was expecting.

They decided to throw my sister a party for her getting her GED yesterday and on a day they know i can't attend because i work every weekend. I didn't get to see any of the family members that came to my house and I hardly ever do normally. I received a few gifts they left me but I'm left with lots of anger and i can't place why. I know my break down yesterday isn't helping my thoughts but i can't figure if the anger is warranted or why this bothers me so much.

 

[Keoul]

That sucks man.
Having such series of unfortunate events fall on your birthday year after year would inevitably get you down during that time. At a guess I'd say you're angry because you'd feel cheated, that apparently you're not good enough for your family since they all decided to got to a party for your sister which they knew you could not attend.

I suppose the anger is warranted, after all being ignored by their family and left pretty much alone most of the time would drive anyone mad let alone anger. Only advice I can give you is to make some new friends, anywhere really, and find some positive people to hang around, friends are always great for cheering you up.

 

[lechat]

gonna state the obvious and say as with all conflicts you're family isn't psychic. if you have a problem try discussing it with them and i bet next year you get the birthday you have always dreamed of

 

[NightmareWarden]

What are you thinking about doing on your birthday? If you go to a spa and get a massage or something, that could help your current mood. Work on the short term plan so that you can clear your head and then afterwards you can make a long term plan in case you need professional help. Now I know how uncomfortable that might sound, but if you need some advice on stress relief you might as well go to the right people for help.

You do something fun for your birthday since you have it off now. I order it!

 

[crimsonshrouds]

What are you thinking about doing on your birthday? If you go to a spa and get a massage or something, that could help your current mood. Work on the short term plan so that you can clear your head and then afterwards you can make a long term plan in case you need professional help. Now I know how uncomfortable that might sound, but if you need some advice on stress relief you might as well go to the right people for help.

You do something fun for your birthday since you have it off now. I order it!

Thank you its nice to hear that from somebody.

 

[neverarine]

ya know... I'm gonna apologize from the start, please dont take this the wrong way, but this is probably gonna be a bit offensive... sorry \(^.^)/

Welcome to the Party

my birthday is one of my three least favorite days, right next to new years day and valentines day, i hate all three of those days, my friends? in real life like 4 or 5 of em and thats about the only ones i actualy consider friends, a couple from work and a few holdovers from highschool

in the modern world life sucks, thats why we here on the internet ar here avoiding reality, i dont know about you but thats why im here now, instead of sleeping like i realy realy should be...

sorry if i dont exactly come off with much pity but thats life alot of people got it sucky, yeah you seem to have bad luck with those timing but hey, its not like anyone can do anything about it

but you know? the internet is always here for you, yeah we'll make fun of you mock you, we can also feel sorry for you and be there for you, internet friends can be great people to know and hang out with, though the mainstream people would mock us for considering those people friends, i can fondly think back on many hours spent hanging out with random people in random websites and games, so screw reality and enjoy your stay in your own private world

well thats what i got for ya buddy good luck, hope the depression goes away faster than it does for me when it hits... though somehow i get the feeling im not much help in this matter... :/

 

[Callate]

That sucks. I'm sorry. I doubt your family intentionally chose to spite you, but you still have every right to feel the way that you do.

I hope your birthday is far better than you expect.

 

[crimsonshrouds]

Snip

I'm truly sorry to hear, and without a doubt everyone deserves a nice birthday since it only happens once a year.

But you know, you don't need to wait for your actual birthday to do something special. There's families where if you're say, working on your actual birthday, people can make up for it by a "planned" birthday to make up for the previous real thing. I've done it before, doing nothing on my birthday but the weekend following it up, I had a nice dinner with my parents and got to see my friends to have desert.

Truth be told, you've had it rough and I wish you didn't have to face such things. It saddens me when situations happen but you've been handling it quite well despite what you may think otherwise. Perhaps if you got with your family, sat down and expressed yourself they can make up for the previous birthdays. You can also be sure to look up places in which you've never been before and most likely find things you'd always wanted to do or see. If you ever need anything or wish to talk further, please do hit me up I enjoy helping people :}.

Thank you.

 

[crimsonshrouds]

That sucks. I'm sorry. I doubt your family intentionally chose to spite you, but you still have every right to feel the way that you do.

I hope your birthday is far better than you expect.

I hope so to.

 

[Palmerama]

I can sympathise my friend. My mum died two weeks before mine (it was my 17th birthday & im now 25, nearly 26, getting old sucks). I always get a bit depressed around that time, sometimes have a few more drinks then I should, but over the years its gotten easier, though you never really get over something like that. My childhood wasn't exactly rosy but Im lucky in that I've got a great group of friends I've known for 15-20 years and if I needed them they would drive the 200 odd miles to see me as I would do the same.

I'm sure you do have friends Their the ones who ask if you're ok and are actually sincere and want to know. When it comes to your family Im sure they just don't realise what they are doing is hurting you, so just go talk to them.

This is what makes gaming so great. If you feel down, you can pop in a game that can cheer you up, get yourself immersed in your favourite digital world, and just escape from the real world for a while.

 

[Risingblade]

Well that sounds pretty depressing with a dash of lonely thrown in. You're probably feeling neglected or something.

 

[Tom_green_day]

I'm no good at emotions and stuff but happy birthday man, hope it gets better.

 

[C4tt4nn4]

Thats awful. depression sucks on so many levels. and family issues never help. but i'm not good at talking about that, since i will not presume to know enough to talk about these messy subjects. All i know is everyone deserves at least one nice birthday, and it sounds like you havent managed to have one. for that, i'm sorry.

in regards to making sure this 10th of february is awesome, all i can suggest is doing something you dont normally do. so take go walking somewhere you've never really explored (parks, trails, etc), get some kind of fancy spa treatment, take a day course in something exotic (ballroom dance? life drawing? something you've never done before!) or cook an elaborate dish (or who knows, even a cake! actually, if you need any recommendations for this one, i'd be more than happy to help). I'm sorry if these seem a bit bland, but it might be really fun to try something new for your birthday.

Whatever you do, good luck

 

[barbzilla]

Yesterday I Broke down into a heavy amount of depression. This happened because apparently I don't have any real friends outside of work... Yeah I'm not going there.

Anyways, my birthday coming up on the 10th. I haven't had a happy birthday since i was a child. Family either died near birthday or were in the hospital on my birthday. On the morning of my 10th birthday I woke up to a dead pet. So you can guess that my birthday really doesn't matter to me usually.

At the end of December I decide to put in to Have my birthday off because I never get Sundays off. I guess at the time i might have thought to make this month more positive but I'm not sure. I don't know what i was thinking at the time of doing that. I told my parents about putting it in to have this day not sure what I was expecting.

They decided to throw my sister a party for her getting her GED yesterday and on a day they know i can't attend because i work every weekend. I didn't get to see any of the family members that came to my house and I hardly ever do normally. I received a few gifts they left me but I'm left with lots of anger and i can't place why. I know my break down yesterday isn't helping my thoughts but i can't figure if the anger is warranted or why this bothers me so much.

Honestly it sounds like you've had a rough go of it. While the anger isn't exactly warranted, it is natural for you to feel angry surrounding specific days/events that have typically been bad for you in the past. I do kind of worry about the depression thing though. Are you on any SSRIs or other anti-depressants? Do you see a psychiatrist? If not you may want to see one and work through some of the emotional backlog. It really helps a lot, and can help to improve your life ( I know, I had a psychiatrist turn my life around completely).

As for your parents, and if you have a reason to be angry for them planning a party so near yours... Yes and No. I would say yes, because it was an insensitive thing to do, especially if you typically never do anything for your birthday. But, I can also feel safe in saying no because you failed to let them know how important this was for you. You shouldn't attribute an act to malice if it can be easily explained by ignorance. I am betting that they were unaware that you actually wanted some form of event for your birthday that year (provided you normally don't celebrate it), and had they known they may have made the effort.

Either way, I am sorry to hear how tainted your B-Day has been in the past. The good news is that people who go through the early stages of life with hardships and traumatic experiences, tend to end up being more beautiful people (on the inside, the outside is dictated by you and nature), provided you can get over the lingering effects (such as depression).

 

[Beffudled Sheep_v1legacy]

Well I'm sorry to hear that man.
Here, please accept this humble cake that I slaved over a hot internet all day for.

That really sucks though man. It seems like you need a day to like go to a spa and just chill. And if you're upset with your family and stressed out then perhaps you should have a chat with them and air out your problems. Also consider going to like a therapist or something. If you have coverage or the money then it is definitely worth it, even if its just to have someone to talk to about life in person (and gett he drugs, the sweet sweet drugs). Happy birthday and good luck man

 

[Eddie the head]

Well I can't say more then try and look on the bright side of life. Ever Seen the Life of Brian?
What I mean by that is just try and have a good day. I can't think of the last bad day I had due to me just trying to have a good day every day. Try and have a good day. That's all the advice I can give you.