I can't understand what's wrong with me

[Vanguard_Ex]

I've looked elsewhere for help with this but I've just had little to no hope, and my faith in the people here is rarely misplaced. I just don't feel comfortable saying everything I'd like to here because it just doesn't feel quite as, I don't know...anonymous. Regardless:

Lately, I'd say over the past couple of months, my self esteem has plummeted. It was never great, very rarely good, but now I honestly can count any points which may give me self worth on one hand. It isn't exactly uncommon for me to think about death nowadays but, that's pretty normal right? Everyone wonders what things would be like if they were gone.
I really don't think this is depression. I studied Psychology in high school so I know what the real sufferers go through and they have it so much worse. Besides, I don't seem to have any appetite changes and my sleep pattern is no more irregular than usual. I suppose I don't really know what I'm asking for...someone to tell me maybe why I feel like this or something? Thanks

 

[MarkDavis94]

Nothings wrong with you, happens to most people, you have to deal with it, don't think about death, put effort into everything you do and stay positive.

 

[Imp Poster]

I don't know. What's making you feel insignificant? If I had to guess anything but the obvious like girl problems, family problems, friend problems, assuming you are going to a university, the transition from high school to university can get people down.

 

[Vanguard_Ex]

I don't know. What's making you feel insignificant? If I had to guess anything but the obvious like girl problems, family problems, friend problems, assuming you are going to a university, the transition from high school to university can get people down.

I don't know, that's the problem. I know a lot of people roll their eyes at a sentiment like this, but I seriously don't see anything valuable about me. A few of your guesses were accurate, there's a bit of girl stuff, mixed with people ignoring me and university...but it was several months ago I started, I should be fine by now.

 

[Imp Poster]

Do you need some closure in some of the issues you had months ago?

 

[Vanguard_Ex]

Do you need some closure in some of the issues you had months ago?

I don't think I have any loose ends that need tying up. None I can think of anyway...thank you by the way, really.

 

[Imp Poster]

Anytime, that is what this place is for. Say what's troubling you and no one judges you unless you like a banhammer impression on your account and respond with some helpful ideas. Hopefully, at the very least you get an idea on how to deal with your problems or make you feel better about your situation.

So, no loose ends.. Then is it something you can't forget about what happened months ago? Feeling of guilt perhaps?

 

[Stoic raptor]

Just keep pushing forward. Nothing stays the same, eventually life will brighten up.

 

[DuctTapeJedi]

snip

Seasonal Affective Disorder? It's a possibility, but don't quote me on that. The best thing for SAD is sunlight and exercise, and going for a jog outside is a good idea even if it isn't that. Exercise is good for depression in general, but if it doesn't help, try finding a doctor.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seasonal_affective_disorder

 

[Anarchemitis]

Have you had extremely happy times in the recent past?
If yes;
Personally I call this phenomenon a chemical slump. When something cool happens or you receive stimuli that are enjoyable, the brain receives positive feedback by way of chemicals provided (called endorphins [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endorphin]). Endorphins are similar to painkillers in which they dull negative feelings and enhance positive ones (which usually has a direct respective consequence to your emotions).
In the event that you have been heavily stimulated in a positive way, your body could be out for a bit in not being able to provide endorphins as adequately as before. This is compounded by the brain suddenly noticing the absence of the endorphins, which it balances out as a negative response.
Eventually it'll all be restored and you won't feel so dry and deflated. To assist in this, eat. Balanced meals are a pretty effective countermeasure to this.
(While lots of this post is true, some of it is also conjecture, but it helps me clarify such situations not unlike the one you're experiencing.)

 

[zombiesinc]

Most, if not all, people struggle with these sorts of moments in their lives. Some will know what's causing the turmoil, others will be in denial, and some will not be able to recognize those things. And sometimes? It just happens, and there may not really be a reason for it.

What's important is to just keep your chin up, focus on what's important, and don't dwell on the negative. These may be overused sayings, but they are because they're true.

If people ignore you, or are rude to you in university, too bad. It's a great indication of the type of people they are, and that's the sort that should leave you thankful you have little to nothing to do with them. Girl troubles, well, there will always be those, and the struggle vs. happiness curve will constantly change. What's important is to be thankful and appreciative when things are going well, but to also take those moments that feel like shit or don't go well, and learn from them. Whether it's what not to do, what you should do, or something about yourself, who you are, and what you want/don't want in your life.

What's important is to accept that life is one lesson after another, and unless you're willing to accept your experiences, learn from them and move on with your life, you're gonna find you get stuck and down far more often than you think you can handle. This moment won't last so long as you don't allow it to. Take the time to do what you want and enjoy, avoid the things that bring you down, and don't allow yourself to dwell on what's not right, or present. Life goes on, and it will get better, then worse, considerably better (or worse)... not everything in life is under your control, but the parts that will allow you to get through struggle, and on with you life, are.

 

[Vanguard_Ex]

Anytime, that is what this place is for. Say what's troubling you and no one judges you unless you like a banhammer impression on your account and respond with some helpful ideas. Hopefully, at the very least you get an idea on how to deal with your problems or make you feel better about your situation.

So, no loose ends.. Then is it something you can't forget about what happened months ago? Feeling of guilt perhaps?

If I had to try and put a finger on it, a large amount of it is lacking self esteem...probably feeling inadequate when put next to the girl that I've developed feelings for, and am unsure if she feels for me.

snip

Seasonal Affective Disorder? It's a possibility, but don't quote me on that. The best thing for SAD is sunlight and exercise, and going for a jog outside is a good idea even if it isn't that. Exercise is good for depression in general, but if it doesn't help, try finding a doctor.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seasonal_affective_disorder

I'll remember that, thank you very much man

Just keep pushing forward. Nothing stays the same, eventually life will brighten up.

Very true, I'll make that my personal mantra. Thanks man.

 

[dmase]

Its a low point, i'm feeling the same myself after some recent stuff. I've dealt with this before but what recently happened is much worse than what i've experienced before. I just keep on telling myself i need to make myself more self confident again.

Find things that if you do them or keep up you'll feel accomplished. Exercise, a job, or maybe thinking more about school(future or present). Thats just all real general stuff not really specific and we all have specific things, you just need to look.

 

[Vanguard_Ex]

-Cut for space-

That's actually very interesting...it makes sense too, and I guess it actually does apply to me. I can almost feel you nodding as I tell you that being involved with this girl lately has had more than enough highs and lows as I feel that it's going well, not so well, back and forth. Thank you so much for posting

-Cut for space-

This is definitely something I'm going to take a lot from, thank you so very much. I'll have to remember this. I tend to just wallow when I get in a bad place but perhaps forcing myself out is a better way to go. Again, thank you. I knew I could count on this forum, once again.

 

[zombiesinc]

-Cut for space-

This is definitely something I'm going to take a lot from, thank you so very much. I'll have to remember this. I tend to just wallow when I get in a bad place but perhaps forcing myself out is a better way to go. Again, thank you. I knew I could count on this forum, once again.

We all tend to get caught up in those moments, and even though most of us already know that focusing on the negative isn't helpful or best, sometimes just hearing it from someone else is all that's needed. And yes, you are very welcome.

 

[SnipErlite]

university...but it was several months ago I started, I should be fine by now.

Not necessarily - I started uni about 3 and a bit months ago and I still feel very odd about it every now and then. Not quite worthless but I feel a bit invisible =/ Uni is such a change in life that it's bound to contribute to feeling unsettled.

Have you ever had anything like this before? A random drop in self esteem?

Either way it can simply be a random mental fluctuation. Every now and then I get swings of happy or depressing feelings that last a few days each time.

Your brain is a strange thing :S

 

[BE4T]

Dopamine levels in your brain greatly affect how you are emotionally/psychologically. Have you ever heard of people being more unhappy in the winter? Its very common because less people go outside during the winter, thus less dopamine.

Great ways to get dopamine would be to exercise, build up a sweat once a day for a week and I guarantee you will see a difference psychologically, if not physically.

 

[New Troll]

Sounds like you need something new in your life. A new hobby, a new club, a new friend. Don't let your life get too stale. Ask that girl out, worst that could happen is she says "Okay" and then after wasting some time with her you find her extremely annoying.

And let me know how it goes. And I'll tell you how things go between me and the girl I got my eyes on. Not going to let my low self-esteem get in my way! Any longer anyway.

 

[Gekkeiju]

In regards to low self esteem:

A few years ago I was going to see a counselor, to help me deal with low self esteem he's have me write two or three things that i liked about myself, or things that I wished to be true on a piece of paper. For example I used:

-I love and am loved
-I am happy with myself the way I am

for when I was feeling lonely and not loving of myself. The idea was that keeping the paper with me, and repeating the sentences to myself over and over, I'd start to believe those things were true, even if I didnt think they were. And maybe this could help you too? Focus on positive things, imagine where you'd like to be in two years time and start taking the steps to get there!

Hope it helps!

 

[Vanguard_Ex]

I've looked elsewhere for help with this but I've just had little to no hope, and my faith in the people here is rarely misplaced. I just don't feel comfortable saying everything I'd like to here because it just doesn't feel quite as, I don't know...anonymous. Regardless:

Lately, I'd say over the past couple of months, my self esteem has plummeted. It was never great, very rarely good, but now I honestly can count any points which may give me self worth on one hand. It isn't exactly uncommon for me to think about death nowadays but, that's pretty normal right? Everyone wonders what things would be like if they were gone.
I really don't think this is depression. I studied Psychology in high school so I know what the real sufferers go through and they have it so much worse. Besides, I don't seem to have any appetite changes and my sleep pattern is no more irregular than usual. I suppose I don't really know what I'm asking for...someone to tell me maybe why I feel like this or something? Thanks

-huuuge helpfulness-

Thank you so much! I'm definitely going to keep coming back to this over the next few days if I feel down again and try work things out in my head. I think a part of it may come from, yes, there is something I feel I need to wrap up...also, with this post:

university...but it was several months ago I started, I should be fine by now.

Not necessarily - I started uni about 3 and a bit months ago and I still feel very odd about it every now and then. Not quite worthless but I feel a bit invisible =/ Uni is such a change in life that it's bound to contribute to feeling unsettled.

Have you ever had anything like this before? A random drop in self esteem?

Either way it can simply be a random mental fluctuation. Every now and then I get swings of happy or depressing feelings that last a few days each time.

Your brain is a strange thing :S

I remember that the other week I was saying how I feel like I don't have any solid friends anymore. I have the people at my uni but old friends back home have moved on, moved away, or just don't have the time a lot of the time to see me. It's odd. Thank you again, Aylaine

Sounds like you need something new in your life. A new hobby, a new club, a new friend. Don't let your life get too stale. Ask that girl out, worst that could happen is she says "Okay" and then after wasting some time with her you find her extremely annoying.

And let me know how it goes. And I'll tell you how things go between me and the girl I got my eyes on. Not going to let my low self-esteem get in my way! Any longer anyway.

Alright man, you've got a deal!

In regards to low self esteem:

A few years ago I was going to see a counselor, to help me deal with low self esteem he's have me write two or three things that i liked about myself, or things that I wished to be true on a piece of paper. For example I used:

-I love and am loved
-I am happy with myself the way I am

for when I was feeling lonely and not loving of myself. The idea was that keeping the paper with me, and repeating the sentences to myself over and over, I'd start to believe those things were true, even if I didnt think they were. And maybe this could help you too? Focus on positive things, imagine where you'd like to be in two years time and start taking the steps to get there!

Hope it helps!

You know I just might try this...thank you, it's good to get some advice which is a testimony to how a professional would suggest dealing with it.