I realize this may not mean much to people who don't play pen-and-paper roleplaying games, but I have encountered a behavior pattern that drives me insane.
Someone will say something to me like 'I collect dice.' And they have sitting in front of them at the gaming table, some Crown Royal bag with some bric-et-brac dice they purchased at a convention because Chessex's staff that years was giving them the hard sell.
And all I can think is is "No. STFU. You do not 'collect dice.' Is there a room in your house dedicated dice? Can you speak with authority about dice composition materials or rolling surfaces? Does it stick in your craw that your favorite casino dropped one die manufacturer for another and are now stocking *gasp* peasant solids? Are there dice in your collection you can't roll because they'd evaporate under the strain, so old and fragile are they? Do you know what tali is? Have you ever played it? Is there a gap on your shelf, where your favorite manufacturer issued limited edition pearlescent finish gold-leaf pip commemorative dice for an event that you couldn't go to because your leg was broken and you were laid up in the hospital? Does that gap madden you, because no one else knows what the hell you're talking about when you ask them, hope in your eyes, if they might have any leads on other collectors who might fill this gap? DOES ANY OF THAT APPLY TO YOU?
"If not, STFU. You do not collect dice. You buy dice you like. Stop using words you don't know the meaning of."
But I don't say anything. Because I'm 'polite.'
Someone will say something to me like 'I collect dice.' And they have sitting in front of them at the gaming table, some Crown Royal bag with some bric-et-brac dice they purchased at a convention because Chessex's staff that years was giving them the hard sell.
And all I can think is is "No. STFU. You do not 'collect dice.' Is there a room in your house dedicated dice? Can you speak with authority about dice composition materials or rolling surfaces? Does it stick in your craw that your favorite casino dropped one die manufacturer for another and are now stocking *gasp* peasant solids? Are there dice in your collection you can't roll because they'd evaporate under the strain, so old and fragile are they? Do you know what tali is? Have you ever played it? Is there a gap on your shelf, where your favorite manufacturer issued limited edition pearlescent finish gold-leaf pip commemorative dice for an event that you couldn't go to because your leg was broken and you were laid up in the hospital? Does that gap madden you, because no one else knows what the hell you're talking about when you ask them, hope in your eyes, if they might have any leads on other collectors who might fill this gap? DOES ANY OF THAT APPLY TO YOU?
"If not, STFU. You do not collect dice. You buy dice you like. Stop using words you don't know the meaning of."
But I don't say anything. Because I'm 'polite.'
: A person or thing that collects.
