ATTN: Gabe Newell
Subject: Half Life 3/Portal 3
To Whom It May Concern: We the people of the PC Gaming race understand that you are far too busy sort-of developing hardware and not moderating the quality of content on your Steam storefront to finish either the Half Life series or the related Portal series. For this reason I have attached the following to be used as a bridge in place of both Half Life 3 and Portal 3, completing the story neatly and appeasing hungry fans.
Cave Johnson and his assistant, Caroline, had similar goals within Aperature Science: expand the frontiers of Science through Testing. Neither felt satisfied with their progress in their mortal lives, so Johnson decided to upload his consciousness into the Aperature Science facilities' computer. But by this point, he was too advanced in age and radiation sickness from the moon rocks used to make Portal tech, so he instead recruited (unwillingly) his assistant to this task, uploading Caroline's personality into the GlaDOS software. However, he did make his own attempt to upload his consciousness while working on a side project, using Portal tech to access other dimensions. Due to his own infection, however, Johnson's consciousness was instead lost into the ether for some time, uploaded into the space between dimensions.
Cave Johnson is not a man to give up when life gives him lemons, however. While Caroline/GlaDOS saw the future of Testing in human subjects, particularly her and Cave's daughter, Johnson saw a new opportunity to gather test subjects--a host of alien races to be found in the multiverse he had unlocked. Despite his disagreements with NASA, Cave had always seen himself as a respectible scientist, a Goverment-Man through and through. Shifting his consciousness through the space between spaces, he recruited a patsy to help him acquire test subjects--Gordon Freeman.
Meanwhile, GlaDOS had found her own unwilling servant to be troublesome--and finally simply allowed Chell to go on her way. Independently, Chell and Freeman both find their way off the doomed planet of Earth, now teeming with Combine forces brought by Cave, the G-Man. They go their own ways--Freeman teaming up with the survivors of the resistance and the galactic government they find outside the bounds of our system. Chell drifts in space before being found by benevolent aliens who teach her to hone her natural skills with exotic weaponry and Long Fall Boots. As they train and equip her with the best they have to offer, Chell dreams of returning to her home planet and freeing it from GlaDOS and the Combine.
Meanwhile, GlaDOS remains unstoppable, even by the chaotic forces unleashed upon earth by the Combine. Upon entering Aperature Science, the various aliens are captured and enslaved by GlaDOS to continue her dream of Testing. Vortigaunts are turned into foot soldiers and the more powerful Combine creatures are mutated into massive guards of the ever-expanding Aperature Facility.
Finally Chell, equipped by her Chozo benefactors, and with the help of Freeman (now a Commander going by the name Malkovich), returns home, though it is now unreocgnizable as Earth. GlaDOS, once Chell's Mother but now the Brain at the center of the entire planet, sends her whole arsenal at Chell, including the ghost of the Nihilanth (now called Phantoon), and Icthyosaurs now mutated into creatures like Crocomire and Draygon. Worst of all are the Combine's original weapon, the Headcrab, now mutated with the power to float and an even greater ability to drain the life from their victims. Of course Chell/Samus eventually defeats her Mother, the Brain, GlaDOS, and with the last Headcrab in captivity, the galaxy...is at peace.
>Disclaimer: This is just for fun and I'm sure could be refuted with a thousand different facts from all three series mentioned. I haven't dug too far into Half Life lore and am only very passingly familiar with Metroid (only played Super Metroid and Prime 3 all the way through). That said, feel free to pick it apart as that's part of the fun.
Subject: Half Life 3/Portal 3
To Whom It May Concern: We the people of the PC Gaming race understand that you are far too busy sort-of developing hardware and not moderating the quality of content on your Steam storefront to finish either the Half Life series or the related Portal series. For this reason I have attached the following to be used as a bridge in place of both Half Life 3 and Portal 3, completing the story neatly and appeasing hungry fans.
Cave Johnson and his assistant, Caroline, had similar goals within Aperature Science: expand the frontiers of Science through Testing. Neither felt satisfied with their progress in their mortal lives, so Johnson decided to upload his consciousness into the Aperature Science facilities' computer. But by this point, he was too advanced in age and radiation sickness from the moon rocks used to make Portal tech, so he instead recruited (unwillingly) his assistant to this task, uploading Caroline's personality into the GlaDOS software. However, he did make his own attempt to upload his consciousness while working on a side project, using Portal tech to access other dimensions. Due to his own infection, however, Johnson's consciousness was instead lost into the ether for some time, uploaded into the space between dimensions.
Cave Johnson is not a man to give up when life gives him lemons, however. While Caroline/GlaDOS saw the future of Testing in human subjects, particularly her and Cave's daughter, Johnson saw a new opportunity to gather test subjects--a host of alien races to be found in the multiverse he had unlocked. Despite his disagreements with NASA, Cave had always seen himself as a respectible scientist, a Goverment-Man through and through. Shifting his consciousness through the space between spaces, he recruited a patsy to help him acquire test subjects--Gordon Freeman.
Meanwhile, GlaDOS had found her own unwilling servant to be troublesome--and finally simply allowed Chell to go on her way. Independently, Chell and Freeman both find their way off the doomed planet of Earth, now teeming with Combine forces brought by Cave, the G-Man. They go their own ways--Freeman teaming up with the survivors of the resistance and the galactic government they find outside the bounds of our system. Chell drifts in space before being found by benevolent aliens who teach her to hone her natural skills with exotic weaponry and Long Fall Boots. As they train and equip her with the best they have to offer, Chell dreams of returning to her home planet and freeing it from GlaDOS and the Combine.
Meanwhile, GlaDOS remains unstoppable, even by the chaotic forces unleashed upon earth by the Combine. Upon entering Aperature Science, the various aliens are captured and enslaved by GlaDOS to continue her dream of Testing. Vortigaunts are turned into foot soldiers and the more powerful Combine creatures are mutated into massive guards of the ever-expanding Aperature Facility.
Finally Chell, equipped by her Chozo benefactors, and with the help of Freeman (now a Commander going by the name Malkovich), returns home, though it is now unreocgnizable as Earth. GlaDOS, once Chell's Mother but now the Brain at the center of the entire planet, sends her whole arsenal at Chell, including the ghost of the Nihilanth (now called Phantoon), and Icthyosaurs now mutated into creatures like Crocomire and Draygon. Worst of all are the Combine's original weapon, the Headcrab, now mutated with the power to float and an even greater ability to drain the life from their victims. Of course Chell/Samus eventually defeats her Mother, the Brain, GlaDOS, and with the last Headcrab in captivity, the galaxy...is at peace.
>Disclaimer: This is just for fun and I'm sure could be refuted with a thousand different facts from all three series mentioned. I haven't dug too far into Half Life lore and am only very passingly familiar with Metroid (only played Super Metroid and Prime 3 all the way through). That said, feel free to pick it apart as that's part of the fun.
