I hate being praised.

[MammothBlade]

I'll be frank, I'm a 21 year old who's "behind" in life in a lot of things. An inadequate shut-in. I'm on a quest to turn my life around, and not a moment too soon.

My family tries to be supportive, but I resent being praised for things I should have done ages ago; things that most people consider easy or natural. I want to, I have to be independent and self-reliant, and praise for simple things is painful. It feels like expectations are ever so lower for me. I don't WANT pity. I don't want to be treated like some child to be protected. I want to work it out for myself and not feel like I'm doing exactly as other people expect me to do.

Enough of that. How can I go about politely telling my family that their praise for every little triumph doesn't help without offending them?

 

[Eclipse Dragon]

Maybe it's not the little things they are actually praising you for, but the fact you are making an honest effort to turn your life around (which is a big thing you should be proud of).

I would need examples to say for sure if this is the case. What exactly are you trying to do that you "should have done ages ago, that most people consider easy or natural."?

It's possible these things you think other people consider easy aren't so easy after all.

and how are they praising you, are they saying things like "good job?" or are they going way out and throwing you parties?

 

[Galletea]

They are trying to encourage you, they don't realise that it is patronising to you. The best thing to do is to take it gracefully and try not to let it get to you. I don't know exactly what the sitch is here so I can't really give you any more advice.

 

[CentralScrtnzr]

You have pride; that's admirable. Very few others have any sort of real pride. Let your pride be a launching pad to your phoenix-resurrection.

Simply put, you can put more stock into yourself, and tell the rest to go fuck off.

 

[ManInRed]

I suppose I typically ignore when someone tries to praise me. You do this enough and they typically learn to stop bothering, at least when your around.

On the other hand, you can just honestly express your jadedness to this praise and point out how "nothing" each of these accomplishments were. While you can still come off polite when doing this, it'll often make you seem arrogant, but people tend to stop encouraging a person at every corner if they think they're arrogant.

The other method is to act like a marine and give praise attitude of being an insult. "Don't call me sir, I work for a living." type of deal, where encouragement undermines the very reasons behind your determination. The downside, with your parents this means your refusing 'making them proud' as a core motivation, which could insult them.

Which brings us to the one line that can usually stop this behavior in parent, though not without a risk of offending them. And that would be to point out how whatever accomplishment you've made was not the results of any help they gave you and that they should stop trying to live success vicariously off of your actions.