I have an addict under my roof !

[SenseOfTumour]

I'd personally suggest a few things, as a WOW gamer myself.

Firstly, maybe try to sit down and ask him what draws him to spend so much time there, maybe get him to show you how it's played for a while, the more you understand something, the less it will seem threatening, I'm sure. I'd also say the limited time is a very sensible path, rather than an outright ban, as from him perspective, it will come across as 'all these people you like to talk to, I'm saying you can't see any of them!', not just 'you can't play one game'. Perhaps agreeing a 2 hour window in the evening, subject to behaviour would be a good place to start.

As a guild leader myself, I understand real life comes first, and I've supported the parents when kids have told me 'dammit my dad says I've gotta get off the computer' with a general 'his rules mate, we'll still be here tomorrow!' Hwoever a sudden 'cut off' with no warning could mean that he's let down groups of people he considers friends when they all show up for an event and wait for him, and he knows he can't get on to see them.

I'm not saying at all that you shouldn't cut him off, but just trying to show that maybe it's not just a freakout that he can't play, but maybe that he's letting people down and it's out of his control.

Just from my viewpoint, a vast amount of why people end up playing games like WOW so much is the social aspect, you're a part of a large society, and with guilds and the like, you're regularly greeted just for logging in, etc.

Teenage life can be very rough, and maybe a virtual world where he's accepted isn't worse than none. I'm not saying he shouldn't be out in the real world making real friends, but I do think there's value in learning how to be a popular player in WOW, in terms of simple honesty, fairness, politeness, etc.

Pleasae don't take my words as criticism, I'm fully in favour of what you're doing, you need to look after your son, and if he's throwing tantrums etc, well, lets just say we've got a few people in my guild who can only play a few hours a week, and they don't complain, they just get on with enjoying the game when they can and get back to real life after.

I'd suggest a 7-9 maybe, after dinner and homework. Nowadays gaming is what TV was to kids 20 years ago, and at least they're using their brains, not just staring at flashing colours.

The above poster has a point however, even a short simple dungeon crawl with 4 other people can take an hour or more, that's if you find the right 4 people immediately, which is why I suggest a 2 hour slot, he can probably achieve something he wants to do without feeling he's being 'switched off' halfway thru something. To be honest, most people would be kind of pissed if you sneaked in and switched off the projectors 10 minutes before the end of the movie at a cinema.

 

[Android2137]

It's been said several times before, but I will say it again: stop paying for his subscription. If he throws a (non-destructive) fit, let him throw a fit. Then encourage him to go out and do stuff with friends or take up a more productive hobby. Like maybe coming up with a concept and story for his own video game. Or writing stories about his WoW character if he's THAT addicted. Might transition to something more original and productive later on. Or to a career in Blizzard.

And if he actually destroys something expensive or steals your credit card to pay for WoW, then get him professional help.

 

[TyrunnAlberyn]

I haven't read the entire thread, I skimmed most of the posts beyond the first one and a half page, so I am not entirely certain my post will bring up even a remotely new point, but here goes anyway.

I grew up in a family with two younger brothers (so yes, that's three annoying boy kids =P). Because of my fathers' job we were extremely early adopters of the PC and we had one before most people did. Back in those days there were no such things as MMO's, but it still was something new and interesting and fun to play with. What few (and fairly simple) games there were got played to death by me and my brothers. Our parents set a fairly simple rule: make sure your homework is done, do a few simple chores around the house and you get one hour a week of game time, after you ask for it. (Note that this was still on a DOS computer, so there wasn't much of a way of keeping track, but myeah ).

That way, the gametime we got was a reward for making sure we were doing well at school and were helping out with some basic stuff around the house. It really felt like a reward too... that hour was sort of special. Of course, nowadays, an hour behind a computer might seem rather... brief, what with most homework getting done behind the PC and all the social networking kids do.

There are however fairly easy solutions like setting a password on your OS so he can't log on without your permission, you can use the parental controls Blizzard has at their site to limit his maximum playtime and you can try getting him reading a book, sending him to a movie with some of his friends and going on trips with him yourself to places you know he'll enjoy.

 

[Isolda Sage]

Someone suggested I delete his characters. Maybe.
I don't think I'll beat him.

That was a joke. A joke lifted and altered from an internet comedian who also created this [http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=manly_suicide]. Funny, but not good advice.

I did not take it as serious advice.

Good, I just have trouble telling when people are serious sometimes.

Yeah we don't get vocal tone and facial expression on here.

 

[Dascylus]

This question gets over discussed, it's your child in your home.

Investigate Vista/Windows 7 (Depending on what your son has) parental controls.
With the parental controls you can limit when and for how long he will be able to play for. You can also block specific programs so You can block WoW but still allow him access o the computer for schoolwork.
It is up to you to make the best decision as a parent.
As a former 13 year old I can say that just straight cutting him off will result in a tornado of hell in the home but careful discussion and reasonable limits seem ok from my POV.

 

[Spacelord]

I am not much of gamer. I come on here to read the articles, really. I am however the mother of a 12 year old gamer, who has lost his mind to World of Warcraft. I have had to block all access to WoW because He had been acting like a true addict.
He plays all night. He sneaks up in the middle of the night to play. When I take the game and his computer away this normally well behaved child turns into a crazed idiot willing to fight me for his computer and the ability to play it.
So as it stands he cannot play and he is mourning the loss of his online friends. Is this a common experience?

Also, how does finding professional help sound? We're gamers, not mental health experts. A game like WoW has some very similar reward mechanisms to gambling and you wouldn't go to a gambling forum for advice on how to make someone quit. Even if we could provide sound advice you'd need a bit more than that to actually break a habit like that. If it's an actual addiction like you say it is, a bit of stern parenting isn't going to help one bit. Only professional help can.

Also, I couldn't help but noticing that you said he mourns the loss of his online friends. Maybe that's what he might be missing? Not the game itself but rather the social group? At the age of twelve children desperately need an in-group of friends in the face of the upcoming rather troubled period of puberty. It's entirely possible that his friends are a bit more important than you are at this point in his life right now. And this is normal for any boy his age. Playing games with his agemates might actually be very beneficial to his emotional development. That would explain his anger as well. I can imagine he might find it exceptionally cruel of you that you would deprive him of that, no matter how well intentioned.

Then again, what do I know? I'm just a guy on an internet forum. If you really care about the wellbeing of your son you ask an established and licensed clinical psychologist to talk with him. A professional might have better insight on the matter than a worried mom that has already read every game addiction horror story OR a bunch of guys on the internet combined.

 

[Turing]

How about making up some sort of duty/reward plan?
I mean, if he does so and so, he earns himself 1 hour of WoW and such.
I think cutting him off completely will only aggravate the situation. And lets face it, its not that hard to go visit a friend and play WoW at his house.

Also, and I'm not sure that would be helping it much, but there are all sorts of World Of Warcraft stuff that isn't the actual game.
For example, there's the World Of Warcraft boardgame which would require him to meet in person with at couple of friends to play and there's also a WoW RPG.
There's also WoW miniatures which are used for a rather easily accessible tabletop wargame.
Of course, this keeps him in the WoW universe, but you might want to consider the possibility of buying one or more of these things, so he can get off the computer, but still play something WoW-y and then hopefully he'll be inspired to expand his interests.

Another possibility: Have you noticed the articles by Dr. Mark on this very site? He's a professional and has dealt with WoW addiction in the past. You might want to send him a PM and see if he has any advice for you.

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/columns/ask-dr-mark/8058-Ask-Dr-Mark-6

 

[MadeinHell]

I dropped smoking 3 days ago...
I really want to punch someone...

 

[Hateren47]

You shouldn't oppress your child like that. He is not an addict in any dangerous sense of the word. You do know that WoW has parental settings right? Just enter your (I assume you are paying for this) account and deny him access to play after his bedtime. That or hide the modem/router in your night table if you are not technical. WoW is not crack, he will grow out of it or get bored eventually.

 

[veloper]

There's a popular misconception. He's not "forfeiting his life". If one were to casually observe me the might think the same. I spend most of my time at my large table me and my father built specially for all my gaming and computer stuff that has all my controllers, consoles, games, my PC, my capture card and more on it (including an unopened can of Mountain Dew Halo 3 Game Fuel). I spend most of my time either on here, on TvTropes, on games or watching everything from Buffy The Vampire Slayer to Ghost In The Shell on my 360's Netflix Instant Stream. I just turn the TV and lay in bed and watch it. However, a few years back I switched from normal schooling to using Florida Virtual School [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Florida_Virtual_School] for it. I'm an awesome student, finally don't have to go at the pace of all the retards who were in school (I normally do 5 or 6 lessons a day while we'd do 1 a week in school) and am normally an A student. Yet besides for that time, I just normally play video games, watch TV and post. To anyone who didn't know all that info I'd seem like I'd have to be failing and pathetic. While to some people I still am pathetic, you can't deny the rest. Just because someone spends most of their time gaming/watching TV/posting/losing themselves for most of a month to TV Tropes doesn't mean they can't do a remarkable amount of schoolwork in a short amount of time. To sum this post, looks can be deceiving.

I did read this and you are right sometimes looks can be deceiving. My problem is that I have a kid who is not eating, not sleeping and becoming consumed by a video game. And yes his behavior is intolerable.

You can drop the ball on everything, except schooling!

School is important and dropping out may ruin your kid's future. The rest is tertiary at that age and he won't starve himself to death, if there's food.

So he wants WOW. As a parent you also have your finger over the dope release button.

Reward him with WOW time for doing his school work and getting good grades. Figure out first how much WOW time for how much school work is optimal.

It's also worth finding out if he has mates at school who also play WOW. If so, you're in luck as he won't get as much physical and mental abuse belonging in a group, even if it's a geek circle.
If he doesn't have any friends at school, you prolly have a major cause for his retreat into a computer game right there. Then it's not just the game, it's his only friends he's wants to be with.

 

[barkingbug]

Being oppressive does not help. If you want him to not do something, have something else for him to do. I dont mean chores either, but fun things. I spend most of my time gaming. Id spend less time gaming though if I could hang out with friends more, for example.

I do NOT believe I am be oppressive! I am providing as much for him to do as possible! I have been encouraging him to spend time with friends and do the other things he love to do!
He has fun when we are out doing things and goes right back to harassing me to let him play the minute we get home.
I don't mind him playing; not at all. I just want him to keep it in balance and show me some better behavior first!

When my middle school best friend and I were your son's age, we played videogames constantly, and when I was in high school, I spent a lot of time glued to a computer screen. Your son is at a terribly difficult age when escaping to a world where he feels as though he has control and some semblance of fun and a life is a tremendous temptation.
You're right to think your son is addicted, and he is. I've been addicted to two MMOs, and I had the sense to quit both after I realized my life was being wasted. My parents tried to force me to cut down on my gaming, but it didn't help much until I recognized that I had a problem. In my opinion, your son will be much less resistant if he acknowledges the fact that he has a serious problem, otherwise he will feel as though you are being restrictive and oppressive and lash out against you.
There are a lot of parents who have been in your shoes, and there are sites and forums where you can contact them. I suggest you do so.

A lot of other people have said that it sounds as though your son needs to find other hobbies and fun things to do, and I agree with them. If he has fun when you're out doing things, but harasses you the minute you get home, he probably feels stifled and bored.

I wish you the best of luck.

 

[Spinozaad]

Make a reasonable deal with him, I'd say.

He joins a team sport (I wouldn't go for a martial art, I'd go for an actual, factual team sport where social interaction is absolute key), he has a fixed amount of time to be spend on homework each day.

And in return, up to two hours of WOW each day, with the entire Saturday evening/Sunday afternoon as WoW-time, too.

That's reasonable, (although don't expect him to agree. As you probably know, kids/teenagers are egocentric maniacs) and you'll be happy, too.

 

[Zealous]

I'm sixteen and the same thing happened to me (on a minor scale). Just place some limits/restrictions/etc. on the computer at certain time and/or have a time limit on it. Supplement it with some other fun activities. That should improve his behavior.
Also note that he was playing a MOMRPG (Massive Online Multiplayer Role Playing Game) which is INCREDIBLY addictive. Try to get him into another kind of game that's less time consuming. Perhaps one with online multiplayer matches that only last up to 20 minutes a piece?
Hope this helps...

 

[mageroel]

I was almost addicted to Maplestory, only thing that helped for me was a friend who told me I was addicted and needed to go out more - I stopped playing it from that day on, and it worked. I occasionally go play Maple again, but never more than a week or two; it bores the crap out of me now.
So: Get a friend (or friends) to tell him he needs to come from behind his computer and hang around with him/them.

 

[ChiryX]

I am not much of gamer. I come on here to read the articles, really. I am however the mother of a 12 year old gamer, who has lost his mind to World of Warcraft. I have had to block all access to WoW because He had been acting like a true addict.
He plays all night. He sneaks up in the middle of the night to play. When I take the game and his computer away this normally well behaved child turns into a crazed idiot willing to fight me for his computer and the ability to play it.
So as it stands he cannot play and he is mourning the loss of his online friends. Is this a common experience?

I was always like that too when I was younger, most thing I was pissed about was when my parents put limits to my computer as I tought its my own bussiness of how much I play. And well... in my oppinion I suggest you to just let him play just if he gets his school and stuff right. Worst thing can happen is him turning to be a nerd but then again from a parents perspective its not that bad as then he wont turn to drugs and alcohol like all the cool kidzz<33 xD

 

[Varrdy]

Took two more posts than I expected for the freakout video to be posted.

yeah I was gonna be first but I got ninja'd while looking for the vid...

That video is scary as fuck! I've heard of people going insane over losing their WoW access but that's beyond mental! The guy (who is rather well built for someone who obviously spent too much time in front of WoW) squeals like a pig and it aint because a hillbilly's telling him to!

To the OP, the mother of the gaming addicted kid, try showing him the vid and telling him what he has to look forward to unless he eases off on the WoW.

Wardy

 

[knight steel]

I am not much of gamer. I come on here to read the articles, really. I am however the mother of a 12 year old gamer, who has lost his mind to World of Warcraft. I have had to block all access to WoW because He had been acting like a true addict.
He plays all night. He sneaks up in the middle of the night to play. When I take the game and his computer away this normally well behaved child turns into a crazed idiot willing to fight me for his computer and the ability to play it.
So as it stands he cannot play and he is mourning the loss of his online friends. Is this a common experience?

One word GIRLFRIEND he 12 so the hormones should be starting to take effect, if you can find him a girlfriend that will take up most of his time and he will probably forget all about gaming, trust me i been in a similar situation ^_^. Although if he get's a girlfriend that could bring up other problems.

 

[veloper]

Make a reasonable deal with him, I'd say.

He joins a team sport (I wouldn't go for a martial art, I'd go for an actual, factual team sport where social interaction is absolute key),

That's a terrible idea. Only kids with talent for it should join a team sport. He'll just be at the bottom of the pack, if even that. You won't likely see any benefits.

There's much easier, faster and less painful ways to toughen a kid up.

Pure excercise with weights and dumbbells would be best.
Doesn't require any reflexes or charm to do it, but it does make a teen strong and confident the fastest, if you can get him to keep at it.

 

[Ziadaine_v1legacy]

My vote would to be just delete the damn thing, but that's just me. For those saying its not obsession: If he's playing it 10+ hours a day, that is fucking obsession. I work 8 hours a day Mon-Fri, if he's playing that game longer then I'm working through-out the week, he needs SOME discipline, especially when your wasting that much time sitting down at 12. When I was 12 (which isn't that long ago, not to sound like an old fart here) I was running around all day, just because games etc are available doesn't mean you should be playing them in every spare moment, especially at 12.

My two cents.

 

[Talendra]

I think a good start would be taking his computers power cable every night.

Yeah, I did that. That resulted in a blow up not so different than that video.

Definitely a good idea to limit his use like this. Had a similar problem to him and as long as he has other stuff to do he will get over it. Just needs time to realise how much better it is when he does not spend an obscene amount of time on a game, and especially gets a good night sleep.

The parental controls are really a good idea.

Though one little tip I can give you if he is still spending too much time on the computer and if you have a desktop computer, take the monitor cable instead. The power cable is exactly the same as most toasters, kettles, alot of TV's, a large amount of transformers use the same cable also.

If this issue ever comes up in regards to my own childhood.. I will deny all previous knowledge, but thought that might help you if he feels the need to play bad enough to sneak around while you are away.