I have decided to be completely honest, escapists, so I wrote this. I hope someone will read it.

[DonMartin]

Hmm, I read it all the way through, and it inspired some thinking to go on in my head (not very common when I'm on the escapist, so cheers to you). I've never thought of myself as one with low self esteem. I've always thought very highly of myself and considered myself a "cool kid" regardless of my nerdy tendencies.

Even then though, no matter how high my self esteem is, I've always had this voice in my head that seems to be attempting to tear down my self esteem. It causes me to second guess myself and think differently than I normally would. One would say that its a good thing. It help moderates your choices and that is really good.

I've almost always hated that voice. I felt it held me back, kept me from getting even smarter than I already am (god, I feel so wrong saying that I am as intelligent as that implies). Now though, OP, you have helped me realize that this voice is not something I need to push away. I still don't think I need to fully embrace it, but I still now to know that I should accept that I will always have it there, causing me to second guess and think differently. For that, I thank you. Also I thank you for giving me something to think about (I seem to be lacking things to actually think about these days).

Cheers

Thank you for this. I was really hoping that someone would react the way you did, and while you may doubt it or not later in your life, the fact that you thought about it is not only great, but an indication of a certain intellect. I think. I can relate to a lot of what youre saying, and I hope I understand you. It's like some people gallantly put it, about balance, in a sense. I suppose.

Thanks, again. This actually made me really glad. For that, I thank you, and I wish you the best.

 

[MrDarkling]

*Snip*

*snip*

Thank you. Really, thank you. That was very kind, not to mention the good advice. You put some thought into this, even if it might have been effortlessly. That's the impression I got, at least. Well put.

Thanks, again. I dont know what else to say.

Hmm maybe effortlessly and maybe not.
Yes because I have had such thoughts before and dealt with, thoughts that your post has mentioned which is another reason I like your post; there is something to relate to within it for everyone who reads it and I find that to be wonderful, once again good credit to you in successfully making such a post.

And no because I only just woke up, went on my ipad and saw it. Had some breakfast and freshened myself up all the while reading through your post over in different areas.
Finally got on to my laptop so I could write my post with more ease.
That and the subject is a difficult one, sleepy head mode or not hahaha

 

[DonMartin]

I too see alot of paralells, and i'm in england. When i assess myself through a logical eye, if darwinism rang as true today as it did in more primitive times, i should be dead. I'm not attractive enough to ever "breed", and even if i did, i'd only be passing on my socially defective mannerisms. Positivity is alien to me, as this world can only be as good as it's people, and they suck. Intolerant to defectiveness and difference, murderous, and completely lacking mercy or empathy. The perfect apex predator. That's why when i meet nice people, they always seem to be the broken, faulty, and disfunctional. "nice", it seems, is not humanities most efficent way of life.

I have a friend who sees things very "biologically" too. (I got the impression that you do too, correct me if Im wrong, please do.) I asked him why, since he said it only pains him. He could not explain why, he just did. I found that quite strange. I believe Einstein once said something like "Physics is great and all that, but it doesnt explain why I fall in love." I think that is really relevant when comparing our lives to darwinism.

Also, if there's something I am sure of, it is that people are not the same. People are people, but a person isnt. Whenever I meet someone who laughs at me, is mean or the like, he does not give a depiction of mankind. Same things applies to the opposite, I suppose. And if positivity really is alien to you, how can you be sure that the people that seem broken and faulty arent, so to speak? I mean, it's not something you have to define, or at least I think so. If I mean a nice person is, well, nice, I know what I mean, I dont try to define nice. There's just something in your argument I cant agree with, I suppose.

Also, I think it's strange that applying darwinism to mankind always means that the optimal thing is the "perfect apex predator", as you put it. Arent humans really flock animals? And in that case, the ones most compatible with others are the ones who succeed, right? Im not sure, I honestly am not that well-read on Darwin, I only know his basic principles.

I want to add too, that being the predator you describe hardly seems like the most efficient way of life either. It might be more common than it should be, but I think it still is a definite, absolutely tiny minority.

Thanks for your input, though! It's always interesting to hear new, or different opinions, no matter where they come from!

Thank you, again.

 

[DonMartin]

*Snip*

*snip*

Thank you. Really, thank you. That was very kind, not to mention the good advice. You put some thought into this, even if it might have been effortlessly. That's the impression I got, at least. Well put.

Thanks, again. I dont know what else to say.

Hmm maybe effortlessly and maybe not.
Yes because I have had such thoughts before and dealt with, thoughts that your post has mentioned which is another reason I like your post; there is something to relate to within it for everyone who reads it and I find that to be wonderful, once again good credit to you in successfully making such a post.

And no because I only just woke up, went on my ipad and saw it. Had some breakfast and freshened myself up all the while reading through your post over in different areas.
Finally got on to my laptop so I could write my post with more ease.
That and the subject is a difficult one, sleepy head mode or not hahaha

Haha, alright
It's great to hear that people think about things like this, even if most do, I suppose, only we never get to know that.
Thanks again for your response though, sleepy head mode or not!

 

[darkcommanderq]

Also, I think it's strange that applying darwinism to mankind always means that the optimal thing is the "perfect apex predator", as you put it. Arent humans really flock animals? And in that case, the ones most compatible with others are the ones who succeed, right? Im not sure, I honestly am not that well-read on Darwin, I only know his basic principles.

I want to add too, that being the predator you describe hardly seems like the most efficient way of life either. It might be more common than it should be, but I think it still is a definite, absolutely tiny minority.

Its not about being an 'apex predator'. Its about being the 'fittest'. All darwin said is that as species evolve the generate random permutations in their DNA. Over time this changes life and as the environment of those creatures changes the ones with the most beneficial DNA will survive and pass it on to there offspring.

Being a flock animal has nothing to do with darwins theory of evolution. When you say flock animal the only thing I can think of is the fact that humans are mammals. Mammals in general tend to create relationships with others of their kind. but there is also a lot of competition between mammals to. I dont think the type of 'flocks' mammals generally create is comparable to migratory birds.

That aside in reguards to your OP though, I would consider myself a very confident person simply because throughout my life iv generally been 'right' about things. Hard to describe, but when I get into debates with people and we look up the answer im usually right, but at the same time I know my limits and I know what subjects I have knowledge over. I dont try to claim knowledge I dont, and I can ask for help if I need it.

Also it could just be that im a cocky American.

 

[DonMartin]

Thanks for replying.

Id also like to add that sometimes it doesn't really feel like it works.

My lack of emotion means that on the rare occasion i do feel strongly, I get overwhelmed by it.

However I never made an actual decision decision to be like this. It might have been the awful 2 years i spent in germany when i was young, but i can't really remember it.

I didn't actually embrace it, so i don't see any particualr way to embrace being normal either.

And i still enjoy everything as much as the next guy, as long as I don't think about it it doesn't affect my emotions very much.

I still have friends, and for some strange reason there are several things besides my family I'd sacrifice my life for.

It still works most of the time, this replys main point was to say that i never actually "embraced" cynicism. There was never any form of decision whatsoever. It just happened.

I guess part of the reason was that i feel like nothing is actually meaningful. Everything is just a bunch of dominos falling on eachother. Even if I somehow manage to affect the world, i really don't feel like i deserve credit for it since i was just a the biggest domino to fall down in a while.

I still enjoy accomplishments. I still enjoy gaining skills.

Just for different reasons than most people.

Thanks for clarifying, I seem to have misunderstood you somewhat.

I suppose what I meant by "embracing" was rather accepting it. I mean, realize youre living with it and not seeing any fault in that. I suppose Im trying to say that anything that you realize you live with that somehow affects you in a way you dont want it to, is something you should rethink. Dont get me wrong, Im not saying that about you. Different reasons isnt simply bad reasons, by any means.

 

[DonMartin]

Also, I think it's strange that applying darwinism to mankind always means that the optimal thing is the "perfect apex predator", as you put it. Arent humans really flock animals? And in that case, the ones most compatible with others are the ones who succeed, right? Im not sure, I honestly am not that well-read on Darwin, I only know his basic principles.

I want to add too, that being the predator you describe hardly seems like the most efficient way of life either. It might be more common than it should be, but I think it still is a definite, absolutely tiny minority.

Its not about being an 'apex predator'. Its about being the 'fittest'. All darwin said is that as species evolve the generate random permutations in their DNA. Over time this changes life and as the environment of those creatures changes the ones with the most beneficial DNA will survive and pass it on to there offspring.

Being a flock animal has nothing to do with darwins theory of evolution. When you say flock animal the only thing I can think of is the fact that humans are mammals. Mammals in general tend to create relationships with others of their kind. but there is also a lot of competition between mammals to. I dont think the type of 'flocks' mammals generally create is comparable to migratory birds.

That aside in reguards to your OP though, I would consider myself a very confident person simply because throughout my life iv generally been 'right' about things. Hard to describe, but when I get into debates with people and we look up the answer im usually right, but at the same time I know my limits and I know what subjects I have knowledge over. I dont try to claim knowledge I dont, and I can ask for help if I need it.

Also it could just be that im a cocky American.

Thanks for clarifying Darwinism for me, atleast explaining bits of it. To be honest, you basically explained what I do know already, but you managed to put it pretty well and clearly. I dont know if you noticed, but I was commenting on someone elses post, and that's where I got the "apex predator" thing.

What I meant by "flock" animal was just that humans generally get along better, if they, well, get along better with each other. Im not saying there's no competition, though. I think that I somewhat can attribute (read: Blame) the difference in our definitions is because of language, as "flock" means something a little bit different in swedish, which is my first language. In an english conversation, however, it's only natural that the english definition should be used, so I thank you for clarifying what the english "flock" (sounds a bit silly, somehow) means, in relation to darwinism and evolution in general.

Thanks again, for your response.

 

[Palademon]

I read all the way through, and I can relate. My username comes from finding it hard to settle on one side of opinion, and I can usually argue for anything I choose, I just have to choose something I can make seem logical.

I used to believe I had bad social skills because I was at a child minder during most of my free time until I was 11, so I missed out on things others had experienced, and therefore couldn't relate or didn't properly learn to get along. I now see this as a bit stupid. I don't have bad social skills. I am very social, I just need something to talk about or something incommon. I can't often start conversations or contribute because I have nothing interesting happening in my life or anything relatable.

I am diagnosed with things like Aspergers and ADHD, but I do not use these as an excuse for anything. I actually hate anything like this since they seem to serve as labels. I like when people can feel like they understand me more if I can explain things about myself, but these things get too generalised to the point where people sometimes don't believe I have them. They'd say "No you don't. You're not hyperactive". And this makes me think I wish these labels didn't exist because people just use them to build more walls. Teachers will offer extra help even though I'm usually one of the most capable people in a class. I hate extra help. I hated being offered medication to 'concentrate'. What is the point of accomplishing something if I can't do it under the same conditions as others?

As a more intellectual person it's rather suprising how I seemed to not be rewarded for it. I'm at the perfect position of smart enough to be mocked, but not academically appliable enough to be rewarded for it. Most of my grades are like through a dice. I could never grasp revision. My brother always did horrible in class, but good in exams, whereas I'm the opposite, despite us both having similar personalities. Although he's far more emotional. I fear I will become like him if I suffer the kind of depression he has gone through.

I can also understand making a giant wall of text. I often pace around my house thinking about human nature in how so many ways in which I despise it. I'm often an open person, but people don't realise, because they don't ask questions. I'm a type of person who's uniqueness can only be shown through long exposure to my personality, otherwise I just seem like another kinda nerdy guy. Where others around me can demonstrate uniqueness and character by telling stories of past experience, I practically have none. My life has been uneventful, and because of this I think I'm going to end up regretting my teenage years once they're over, even though I feel like there's nothing in my power to make things happen. All my interests revolve around things that aren't very sociable. I only grow close to few amounts of people because others seem uninteresting or unrelatable.

One thing I despise in human nature is the idea that there are universally hated personality traits. Anything to do with being self conscious, or anything that exposes negativity is seen as bad, why? I can understand why, and yet it still seems so stupid. And the more and more things that people seem to accept as universal rules for dislike regarding people's attributes continually cause me to lose hope in making my life better. "People hate this...girls don't like/want this". Whenever things like this come up I either hate humanity more or once again utter the words "I wish I was gay".

I'm not exactly sure as to how I was supposed to reply to this thread, but I'm always open to telling people about myself. Going in continuous prose like this makes it easier. Usually people have to be specific.

An important thing is I like who I am, and am not going to settle for being anything else. But since I don't scream this from the rooftops I don't come across as being on that level of confidence and people won't realise this. It's like when I mention I wish I had a partner. Yes, I am lonely, but I'm not anywhere near desperate. Even if I am, I'm still going to be just as picky as anyone else.

I've somehow managed to use your OP as a jumping off point from how I relate to how I differentiate myself, and how I feel about certain things, and have similar but different issues. So, I kind of feel reluctant to post this since this response is pretty much also a wall of text, mostly gushing about myself though in a way that might or might not be very off-topic.

 

[The_ModeRazor]

But I guess you have some good poitns. I got some similar problems, with the slight difference that I don't actually have friends. Ah well.

 

[DonMartin]

But I guess you have some good poitns. I got some similar problems, with the slight difference that I don't actually have friends. Ah well.

Dude, relax. (pa-dum-tisch)

Thanks for your response, there's never a time when referencing Coen films isnt appropriate.


PS. If you dont have any other friends, I'll be one. No matter if I dont know you very well, or even personally. At least that's one friend in the bank.

 

[JasonKaotic]

Finns generally have low self-confidence? Really? Wow. Finland's a badass country. And Finns are badass. I don't see how it's humanly possible for you guys to think little of yourselves.
But yeah, "I HAVE LOW SELF-CONFIDENCE" is thrown about far too much. It is pretty easy to see through people that say it just to get sympathy when a lot of my friends genuinely do have low self-esteem.
(And I used to myself. I still don't have GOOD self-confidence, but it's higher than it used to be)

 

[DonMartin]

I read all the way through, and I can relate. My username comes from finding it hard to settle on one side of opinion, and I can usually argue for anything I choose, I just have to choose something I can make seem logical.

I used to believe I had bad social skills because I was at a child minder during most of my free time until I was 11, so I missed out on things others had experienced, and therefore couldn't relate or didn't properly learn to get along. I now see this as a bit stupid. I don't have bad social skills. I am very social, I just need something to talk about or something incommon. I can't often start conversations or contribute because I have nothing interesting happening in my life or anything relatable.

I am diagnosed with things like Aspergers and ADHD, but I do not use these as an excuse for anything. I actually hate anything like this since they seem to serve as labels. I like when people can feel like they understand me more if I can explain things about myself, but these things get too generalised to the point where people sometimes don't believe I have them. They'd say "No you don't. You're not hyperactive". And this makes me think I wish these labels didn't exist because people just use them to build more walls. Teachers will offer extra help even though I'm usually one of the most capable people in a class. I hate extra help. I hated being offered medication to 'concentrate'. What is the point of accomplishing something if I can't do it under the same conditions as others?

As a more intellectual person it's rather suprising how I seemed to not be rewarded for it. I'm at the perfect position of smart enough to be mocked, but not academically appliable enough to be rewarded for it. Most of my grades are like through a dice. I could never grasp revision. My brother always did horrible in class, but good in exams, whereas I'm the opposite, despite us both having similar personalities. Although he's far more emotional. I fear I will become like him if I suffer the kind of depression he has gone through.

I can also understand making a giant wall of text. I often pace around my house thinking about human nature in how so many ways in which I despise it. I'm often an open person, but people don't realise, because they don't ask questions. I'm a type of person who's uniqueness can only be shown through long exposure to my personality, otherwise I just seem like another kinda nerdy guy. Where others around me can demonstrate uniqueness and character by telling stories of past experience, I practically have none. My life has been uneventful, and because of this I think I'm going to end up regretting my teenage years once they're over, even though I feel like there's nothing in my power to make things happen. All my interests revolve around things that aren't very sociable. I only grow close to few amounts of people because others seem uninteresting or unrelatable.

One thing I despise in human nature is the idea that there are universally hated personality traits. Anything to do with being self conscious, or anything that exposes negativity is seen as bad, why? I can understand why, and yet it still seems so stupid. And the more and more things that people seem to accept as universal rules for dislike regarding people's attributes continually cause me to lose hope in making my life better. "People hate this...girls don't like/want this". Whenever things like this come up I either hate humanity more or once again utter the words "I wish I was gay".

I'm not exactly sure as to how I was supposed to reply to this thread, but I'm always open to telling people about myself. Going in continuous prose like this makes it easier. Usually people have to be specific.

An important thing is I like who I am, and am not going to settle for being anything else. But since I don't scream this from the rooftops I don't come across as being on that level of confidence and people won't realise this. It's like when I mention I wish I had a partner. Yes, I am lonely, but I'm not anywhere near desperate. Even if I am, I'm still going to be just as picky as anyone else.

I've somehow managed to use your OP as a jumping off point from how I relate to how I differentiate myself, and how I feel about certain things, and have similar but different issues. So, I kind of feel reluctant to post this since this response is pretty much also a wall of text, mostly gushing about myself though in a way that might or might not be very off-topic.

First of all, Im glad if the OP managed to get any kind of reaction that you feel you are willing to share. Any wall of text is welcome. Using it as a jumping off point is fine with me, man.

I agree with you with the fact that some things are generally seen as "rules" (people dont like this, people dont like that) are really not that good for anyone of us, no matter how much we adhere to them. And, and this is where we seem to disagree, (unless I misunderstood) that's because I do not believe in universality in mankind, I cant believe in "human nature" anymore, but I did use to. But then, I just came to the realization that it's just generalizing everyone, which seems sort of silly (to me, at least) now. If I feel that those rules I mentioned are generalizing and unfair, how could I still believe in human nature? (some instincts, sure, like a certain need to love and to survive, I suppose. I guess I dont believe in human nature personality-wise.)

I think Ive read something along the lines of: "How can there be human nature in a species that encompasses anything from Dalai Llama to Hitler? Bullies and philantrophes?" That's just something I feel I have to agree on, and it's made me think that believing in human nature is unfair to everyone else, I suppose. It seems logical to me, but people might disagree, and that's fine with me.

To be honest, I too sort of long for a relationship with someone. Ive had some few flings, but nothing substantial, and I suppose I am a bit lonely too. I can admit that. Not desperate, either. I think.

Thank you for sharing. Really, it's interesting to hear and I am grateful that you shared that with me. (us, I guess) Thanks for reading the post, too.

 

[DonMartin]

Finns generally have low self-confidence? Really? Wow. Finland's a badass country. And Finns are badass. I don't see how it's humanly possible for you guys to think little of yourselves.
But yeah, "I HAVE LOW SELF-CONFIDENCE" is thrown about far too much. It is pretty easy to see through people that say it just to get sympathy when a lot of my friends genuinely do have low self-esteem.
(And I used to myself. I still don't have GOOD self-confidence, but it's higher than it used to be)

I think that's a good point, and maybe I should have stressed that more in the OP. It is thrown around a lot, I agree.

(Also, I suppose the reason some finns think they are so badass and just better than others, is because of their poor self-confidence. Your kind words are welcome, though )

Thanks for reading and the response, man. I appreciate it.

 

[Fiz_The_Toaster]

I appreciate your honesty and I felt like I was reading a letter to myself since a lot of what you were saying I've either thought about or have experienced. I get where you are coming from when you get angry with other people over something like that, I thought I was the only one in that regard to be honest. The people I know that I get irritated with do notice a slight attitude change but don't know why, and I really can't tell them why, you have more guts than I do since you fully admitted that.

I did detect some cynicism in your letter, but I believe all of use are capable of some sort of cynicism, but I think you were being more realistic about the whole thing, kinda hard not to when you are being that honest.

Second guessing one's self I think is only natural when you are faced with numerous answers to a situation, but I think when the voices die down one answer will remain. I know exactly how you feel about that, there are times where I wished I would stop over thinking situations and just pick an answer and move one.

I just realized I typed more than I thought I would, but since you were being honest with us, I should be honest with you since that is only fair. I thank you for sharing that.

 

[NinjaDeathSlap]

wow, you really do second guess yourself... a lot.

Not that I blame you or anything, I'm bi-polar myself and am no stranger to the sort of issues you are describing, but that 'Jante Law' sort of mindset really doesn't seem healthy to me. Sure, modesty is a virtue and all that, but there is a line between being modest and going through lifer like a dog chained to a lamp post, constantly restricting yourself and putting yourself down.

I personally use acting as my outlet... and let me tell you when I get up on stage it is the most wonderful feeling in the world because I can leave it all behind. I don't have to worry about all the insecurities in other parts of my life. I can be anyone and do anything. When I'm up there I AM great, I AM special, and nobody gets to bring me down. I'm fairly certain that without that feeling I'd have gone mad a long time ago (Well, considering I have a mental condition I guess I already am mad, but you know what I mean).

 

[DonMartin]

wow, you really do second guess yourself... a lot.

Not that I blame you or anything, I'm bi-polar myself and am no stranger to the sort of issues you are describing, but that 'Jante Law' sort of mindset really doesn't seem healthy to me. Sure, modesty is a virtue and all that, but there is a line between being modest and going through lifer like a dog chained to a lamp post, constantly restricting yourself and putting yourself down.

I personally use acting as my outlet... and let me tell you when I get up on stage it is the most wonderful feeling in the world because I can leave it all behind. I don't have to worry about all the insecurities in other parts of my life. I can be anyone and do anything. When I'm up there I AM great, I AM special, and nobody gets to bring me down. I'm fairly certain that without that feeling I'd have gone mad a long time ago (Well, considering I have a mental condition I guess I already am mad, but you know what I mean).

Make no mistake, I know that Jante's Law is unhealthy and actually pretty stupid, but when you have grown up accustomed to something, it's always hard to suddenly reject it, no matter how bad. I suppose it makes it harder to reject because of self-confidence issues. You make a good point, and I agree with you completely.

Acting is something I admire, I just thought I'd add that. I dont enjoy acting myself, but I enjoy writing scripts. One of them even got performed, which made me really happy. Just on a side note.

Thanks for your response, and thank you for reading!

 

[DonMartin]

I appreciate your honesty and I felt like I was reading a letter to myself since a lot of what you were saying I've either thought about or have experienced. I get where you are coming from when you get angry with other people over something like that, I thought I was the only one in that regard to be honest. The people I know that I get irritated with do notice a slight attitude change but don't know why, and I really can't tell them why, you have more guts than I do since you fully admitted that.

I did detect some cynicism in your letter, but I believe all of use are capable of some sort of cynicism, but I think you were being more realistic about the whole thing, kinda hard not to when you are being that honest.

Second guessing one's self I think is only natural when you are faced with numerous answers to a situation, but I think when the voices die down one answer will remain. I know exactly how you feel about that, there are times where I wished I would stop over thinking situations and just pick an answer and move one.

I just realized I typed more than I thought I would, but since you were being honest with us, I should be honest with you since that is only fair. I thank you for sharing that.

I thank you for sharing that even more. I can relate to you quite a bit, and I see how you do, vice versa. It just reminds us that were not alone, I suppose. It's also great that you appreciate honesty so much, that's a great trait, I think.

Thanks again for reading and responding. Really, thank you.

 

[The Last Nomad]

Well, I don't really know what to reply to that, but I feel I should even just to let you know I did read it. I think I may not have understood what you were trying to say completely as it was a lot to read and I read it pretty quick and it was interrupted midway by a phone call. I even read through some of it again and I'm still no clearer, but here is my response anyway.

It seems that you want some people to open up themselves like you did, but I'm not one for doing that, and I'll tell you why (I realise the irony here, as I am sharing something about myself, but its only small). If I am happy with myself, then thats all that matters to me, I don't seek recognition from others very often, not because I think I'm not worthy of it, but because that stuff doesn't really matter to me. I try to do what makes me happy and I don't care what people think about me other than the people I like. If someone I like doesn't like me, well I might try to change their opinion, but not by changing myself. (I realise by actually posting this, it makes me look like I do care about what people think of me and there is nothing I could do that would make it seem otherwise, even by simply saying 'I don't care' would make me seem like I wanna seem like I don't care, but I actually don't... fuckin' hell it seems stupid just writing that, haha. I even took like a half hour to write this, but not so as it would look the way I wanted others to see it, but to make sure it was what I wanted to say)
I guess this is just sort of advice, in response to your self-confidence issue (That phrase makes it sound really bad, but I hope you get what I mean). You don't have to be a self-centered asshole, I do enjoy helping others, and having a good time with others, and if I make myself laugh, why not share that with everyone else. I'm only tryna give a bit of advice because I could once identify very closely with some of the things you said, but for different reasons. But I didn't change myself, or my lifestyle or anything, it just changed itself, and I happened to enjoy the change and the changed life I have now. Just try to be happy and don't give a fuck if something that makes you happy doesn't make everyone else happy.

Spoiler: And now for something completely different

 

[Fiz_The_Toaster]

I appreciate your honesty and I felt like I was reading a letter to myself since a lot of what you were saying I've either thought about or have experienced. I get where you are coming from when you get angry with other people over something like that, I thought I was the only one in that regard to be honest. The people I know that I get irritated with do notice a slight attitude change but don't know why, and I really can't tell them why, you have more guts than I do since you fully admitted that.

I did detect some cynicism in your letter, but I believe all of use are capable of some sort of cynicism, but I think you were being more realistic about the whole thing, kinda hard not to when you are being that honest.

Second guessing one's self I think is only natural when you are faced with numerous answers to a situation, but I think when the voices die down one answer will remain. I know exactly how you feel about that, there are times where I wished I would stop over thinking situations and just pick an answer and move one.

I just realized I typed more than I thought I would, but since you were being honest with us, I should be honest with you since that is only fair. I thank you for sharing that.

I thank you for sharing that even more. I can relate to you quite a bit, and I see how you do, vice versa. It just reminds us that were not alone, I suppose. It's also great that you appreciate honesty so much, that's a great trait, I think.

Thanks again for reading and responding. Really, thank you.

No, we are not, it's nice to know what makes our fellow Escapists tick, and it's great to know I can relate to someone like you. I suppose when we all get that depressed we forget that we are not alone, it's nice to have solidarity.

Honesty is important and shouldn't be taken for granted, so there's no reason for me to lie when you are being that honest. I would feel terrible if I did that. And most importantly, you're welcome.