ok i feel sorry for you so im gonna say i love you to lol (though i love my boyfriend more then any of the other escapists). I used to notice about death being unavoidable, no comeback in this life also. It scares me sometimes to think that if i got hit by a car tomorrow and died, i won't be back in this form and i would most likely be missed. I can actually lie awake and panic about death, knowing it is inevitable, that i can't escape from it. Believe me, i hug my mother everyday before i leave, not knowing if i or she will be here later (her health problems could kill her).
It also scares me knowing people around me have health problems and that those i love most could easily die at any time. That is an even more frightening thought because i don't want to be left alone. I have already made a pact with my closest love that if they should die, i won't be far behind. The idea of losing them kills me to much even to imagine and i know i won't survive properly without them.
As for my mother, she has threatened to kill herself that many times im not sure i care anymore. This may sound harsh but she loves playing on my emotions just to get attention (part of her depression). Now me and her parents have given up worrying, its her life to throw away and if she wants to leave me, so be it.
