I need a hug...

[Woodsey]

If you say you're in love with someone and give a timeframe for it I'm inclined to doubt that you are.

Also: they're her feelings. They change. Why should she ignore it just because she told you she would? If they both like each other then it's ridiculous for them not to do anything about it.

Oh, and if someone goes away for 10 months it's very rare that they're going to hold off for someone when they come back.

 

[iLikeHippos]

Hey there. I'm having a tough time right now, and I could use a bit of emotional support and advice. You fellows at The Escapist are some of the nicest people I've ever seen on the internet, and I suppose it wouldn't hurt to talk about my problems here.

Anyways, my story.

Me and this girl have been in love with each other for about a month and a half now. We were never officially dating, because she's leaving for college in BC next month and she didn't want to date before she left. She always told me she'd come back to me when she was done her ten month course, and it felt good having something to look forward to. Last Sunday, however, me and her had a talk... Since she couldn't guarantee that we'd be together, she decided to just end it. She even said she was unsure about being in love with me any more.

That alone was a huge disappointment and hurt me greatly, but there's more. She's had this guy friend for a long time, and just recently it's become clear that he has a crush on her. I encouraged her to be friends with him, but I made my concern about his affection clear. She said she would say no if he asked her out -- she had me, after all. Just last night, she told me he asked her out and she said yes...

I feel absolutely betrayed. She went against her own wish to not date until she left. She broke her promise that she wouldn't date him. I don't know what happened to her, but I still love her and am deeply hurt by her actions. She says she still values me as a friend and care about me, but I really don't know...

I honestly don't know what to do any more... I'm so depressed, I've lost five pounds because I can't even eat. I feel absolutely horrible when I think of them...

Any support from you Escapists would make me feel leagues better.

This guy bases it all up, doesn't he?Sadly, I am too damn inexperienced to issue any further help. I - hope - it helps.
Just the first thing that sprung to mind after reading the issue.

 

[JohanGasMask]

*Gives you a hug* That will be 5 bucks!

 

[SwagLordYoloson]

Its time to move on, I wouldn't want to still be with someone who did that to me, just make sure that you are a better person when she gets back so that she feels stupid about breaking that promise to you

Or

Burying everything with lots and lots of alcohol always helped me

 

[Palademon]

Same thing happened to me, except she didnt want to date anyone PERIOD. Her only plausable excuse, that only came out AFTER she decided to go out with a prick for three days, then say she missed being single. (GRRRRR

(sigh) She's still my closest female friend in real life -_-

 

[ESCAPIST DELETE THIS ACCOUNT]

*Hug* im sorry this happend to you, a similar thing happend to me and for a while it hurt like hell but time and good mates takes the pain away eventually.

 

[WINDOWCLEAN2]

Forgivness is key to Life.

Be better than her, forgive her and she will realise that she is wrong.

Also:

*Huggles*

 

[WestMountain]

Ehh, get over her kiddo, you deserve better.

*Formal handshake*

 

[VincentX3]

I know how you feel mate, I had the same shit happen to me over 3 times, in many ocassions and years, But I don't regret it anymore. It's also a good thing and a new start! To find someone better for you and that WILL care!

also >.>

Spoiler

Just in case you didn't like the other hug...

NOW FOR THE ESCAPIST EDITION!

 

[steeple]

sorry to hear what happened to you man... I guess just listen to what everyone else said and try to forget her... maybe travel to russia like you said you wanted?

*Gives you a hug* That will be 5 bucks!

does that include tax? because if not then I'm gonna open a company and bring you to bankruptcy

 

[ParkourMcGhee]

Hey there. I'm having a tough time right now, and I could use a bit of emotional support and advice. You fellows at The Escapist are some of the nicest people I've ever seen on the internet, and I suppose it wouldn't hurt to talk about my problems here.

Anyways, my story.

Me and this girl have been in love with each other for about a month and a half now. We were never officially dating, because she's leaving for college in BC next month and she didn't want to date before she left. She always told me she'd come back to me when she was done her ten month course, and it felt good having something to look forward to. Last Sunday, however, me and her had a talk... Since she couldn't guarantee that we'd be together, she decided to just end it. She even said she was unsure about being in love with me any more.

That alone was a huge disappointment and hurt me greatly, but there's more. She's had this guy friend for a long time, and just recently it's become clear that he has a crush on her. I encouraged her to be friends with him, but I made my concern about his affection clear. She said she would say no if he asked her out -- she had me, after all. Just last night, she told me he asked her out and she said yes...

I feel absolutely betrayed. She went against her own wish to not date until she left. She broke her promise that she wouldn't date him. I don't know what happened to her, but I still love her and am deeply hurt by her actions. She says she still values me as a friend and care about me, but I really don't know...

I honestly don't know what to do any more... I'm so depressed, I've lost five pounds because I can't even eat. I feel absolutely horrible when I think of them...

Any support from you Escapists would make me feel leagues better.

What a ***** o0. I feel sorry for you man. Hope you find somebody who can make their mind up.

*e-hug*

 

[runnernda]

First off, I am so sorry that this happened. There are some girls that make me ashamed of my gender. Hugs, and lots of them! I've been in the same situation, and it is no fun at all.

Her going away is probably a good thing. It'll give you the space you need to get perspective on the situation. With her around, dating this other guy, you're not going to make a whole lot of progress. It's terrible what she did to you, and until she leaves, it'll be hard to focus on anything but the betrayal.

If you want to be her friend, be her friend. If you want to be more, wait and see if you still feel the same way once she comes back. Don't sit around and wait for her, but take the time to know yourself so you know how you feel once she's back.

Lastly, more hugs! If you need to talk or rant or anything, I'm pretty much always around.

 

[The Journey]

I feel you and the pain does hurt and is not easily forgotten. Time does eventually heal all wounds, though never quickly or easily and it does take work on your part.

A few months ago my girlfriend and I broke up and it only took up until pretty much today for me to be really over her (yeah I'm an over-sensitive guy, so what) and it wasn't a fun period of my life, but it's over and done with now.

I still get a rush of some collection of feelings whenever I see her, but it quickly passes and I forget about her.

What you have to do is not 'forget about her' or anything like that, because you can't, it's not that simple. What you have to do is to do your best not to dwell on her in your thoughts. Do anything that takes your focus into the here and now and that will help.

Anyway, after a supremely long ramble, have a hug damnit. *hugs*

 

[Jedoro]

Unless there's physical backing (ring, contract, etc.), don't count too much on a promise unless the person's consistently delivered. They may not mean to, but the person's feelings or situation could change and they'd be less inclined to keep said promise. Anywho, more fish in the sea, and whatnot.

"Keep your pecker hard, and your powder dry, and the world will turn."

*hug*

 

[Ciran]

Ouch, that's rough. I've been through a similar situation and it's just not something that's easily gotten over. It takes time but it can be done, just keep pushing forward.

 

[Oh That Dude]

I know exactly how ya feel. For a month, I had a great thing going with this one girl. Never really fought or argued about anything. Had a lot in common. Got along better than I've ever gotten along with anyone. Then she just dumped me for no reason after coming back from Japan for 2 weeks. I literally asked why she decided to do it and she said, "I don't know, I just want out." What the fuck is that all about?

Anyway... Here's Melvin with your free hug:

"DON'T DO IT! HE'LL JUST STAB YOU OR SOMETHING!"

Also, chin up and good luck sir. It hurts and it will hurt for a while. You probably don't even want to stop thinking about her. It's better that you do try and forget her though. At the end of the day, it's better this way: it wasn't meant to be. Cliche as it sounds.

 

[EightGaugeHippo]

*Hug*

thats sucks, but if your absolutly sure she dosnt want to be with you anymore, the best thing you can do is not dwell on it and move on, you dont have to date some one else just try not to think about her.

other than that, good luck.

 

[Dexiro]

She sounds like a ***** to be totally honest, you can do better ^_^

From an outsiders perspective it sounded like she was skeptical about the relationship to begin with, and it's just fucking horrible that she'd play with your emotions in that way. She's just waltz off casually while you're left feeling like crap.
I really hope you find someone else soon, maybe talk to your friends about what happened and get some real life hugs!

 

[JohanGasMask]

*Gives you a hug* That will be 5 bucks!

does that include tax? because if not then I'm gonna open a company and bring you to bankruptcy

Um...do jokes include tax? Im just trying to make a business here, I got kids to feed!

 

[Harrowdown]

*Free hug*

Take solace in the fact that she was right to end it. Long distance relationships don't work, especially between young people. I know it sucks, but it's probably for the best.

EDIT: Also, don't get bitter. However much she hurt you, it clearly wasn't intentional, and she wasn't obliged in any way to stay with you. If you let yourself think otherwise, you'll just hurt yourself more.