I need a hug...

[Zarthek]

Something almost exactly like this happened to me a few years ago, I was down for a while until my dad noticed I was acting a little wierd... He then took me out to the desert with a shotgun and the piece of crap computer that everyone hated. I think the only thing of it that survived was a stick of RAM...

Long story short, Destruction can be a good therapy... just don't go too crazy now.

More Advice: It's best that you move on, I think she was trying to lie to soften it up to you somehow then realized it wouldn't work =/, the girl that betrayed me was straight about it and it still hurt like hell, I'm not sure if there's a good way to end a relationship unless it's a mutual agreement.
Just take it easy, listen to music that will help, if possible bring some inanimate object you hate out to the gun range/nearby desert and blow it to bits.

 

[rt052192]

my advice to you is to hang out with some guy friends to get over it. Don't sit alone or brood on it, try to move on and go about as normal. Easier said than done, but trust me you will feel alot better and I'm sure your friends will support you.

 

[Blitzkreg]

You know, sometimes things like that hurt, but there really isn't anything you can do without making the situation worse. I know you still feel for her, but its probably time to let go and move on. Dwelling on something that is dead really wont help anyone. Besides, the sooner you do this the sooner you'll find someone else and hopefully next time things will go better.
best of luck
/hug

 

[Burningsok]

Hey there. I'm having a tough time right now, and I could use a bit of emotional support and advice. You fellows at The Escapist are some of the nicest people I've ever seen on the internet, and I suppose it wouldn't hurt to talk about my problems here.

Anyways, my story.

Me and this girl have been in love with each other for about a month and a half now. We were never officially dating, because she's leaving for college in BC next month and she didn't want to date before she left. She always told me she'd come back to me when she was done her ten month course, and it felt good having something to look forward to. Last Sunday, however, me and her had a talk... Since she couldn't guarantee that we'd be together, she decided to just end it. She even said she was unsure about being in love with me any more.

That alone was a huge disappointment and hurt me greatly, but there's more. She's had this guy friend for a long time, and just recently it's become clear that he has a crush on her. I encouraged her to be friends with him, but I made my concern about his affection clear. She said she would say no if he asked her out -- she had me, after all. Just last night, she told me he asked her out and she said yes...

I feel absolutely betrayed. She went against her own wish to not date until she left. She broke her promise that she wouldn't date him. I don't know what happened to her, but I still love her and am deeply hurt by her actions. She says she still values me as a friend and care about me, but I really don't know...

I honestly don't know what to do any more... I'm so depressed, I've lost five pounds because I can't even eat. I feel absolutely horrible when I think of them...

Any support from you Escapists would make me feel leagues better.

BIG Escapist Group Hug!!!

anyways, sry man. I know it's hard to deal with this. Here I'll give you some advice; the other members might of already given you advice like this or similar to it. Call her, ask her whats been going on, you know; small talk. Just be a very good supporting friend to her. I know she went against her own promise to you, but at some point it just needs to be forgiven. Also, stay in contact with her, show her that you don't want to forget her. Who knows she might get the message of what you are trying to tell her. Be supportive, hell try and get to know the guy she is going out with, he might be a cool guy. Not only will you possibly be good friends with the guy, but you will make her happy that you can get along.

One more thing, After talking to her for a while bring up the subject of why she decided to date the guy. Don't get angry at her; just ask why, and then forgive her. Be happy for her. Something about the guy must of made her instantly convinced. If she doesn't want to talk to you at all then tell her how you feel about this whole situation and if she can't understand and acknowledge how you feel then she isn't worth your time. If that is the case it would good to just move on. Keep a little bit of hope man. The future is very unpredictable.

Oh and keep your mind open if a random girl comes by and you want to date and get to know her. Only time will tell my friend. *big hug*

 

[Connor Lonske]

Man, at this very moment, I am going throught the exact samething as you are. I think the best thing to do is to let her go. If you really care about her, then do what makes her happy. Yeah, you will be heart broken, buts its even more resion to be proud. Tell her that you will leave her alone, and that she can make her own choices. She will respect you for that. Also, free man hug for you. *hugs*

 

[Ace of Spades]

I might sound a bit callous, but I would cut her off completely. If she was willing to break her promise of not dating for him and not you, she clearly does not care for you, regardless of what she says.

 

[Robyrt]

*hugs* I've been in similar situations and they are terrible - but the good news is, it gets better eventually.

I would definitely not burn your bridges with this girl - you may have to put some distance between you for a while as you work through your feelings, but she can still be a good friend. Don't nurse a grudge - promises not to date someone else right before going to college and being exposed to a huge new dating pool are notoriously unreliable, and should generally neither be asked or given.

 

[CloggedDonkey]

Damn, man. Sorry to hear that. You have my condolences, and I think we need to get a digital pint sometime soon. But hey, if it helps, *hug*.

 

[Legion IV]

Find it funny breaking news threads get a some veiws yet these get millions.

Its just a women. I was in a long relationship went on for years. Sure it sucked when it ended but later i finnaly was like ok? Am still happy and fine. Find it odd this needs a fourm topic if you need emotional support you got friends for that. Its just another relationship of the MANY of you will have am sure.

I could go on but am sure i'll be called a troll and everyone will say. You dont know what love is. BS. I very well know what it is and experianed it.

Look it'll suck for a bit but eventually you'll be over it and be sorry to put this on a forum in the first place. Time heals all my friend.

 

[Judgement101]

Actually that EXACT same thing happened to me. (minus the college part) What I did was attempt to forget her, sadly if you have read my one thread you would know I love her. Here's what to do, tell her you fell betrayed and you like her.

 

[Withall]

Have a hug from Sweden *hug*. Wow... The best advice I can give is ask her what made her decide to go against all that she said she wouldn't do. If anything, demand that from her: there must be a very good reason for her to back down from her word.

That is the least you can demand of her. Other than that, learn from what's happened, and for God's sake- EAT A BLOODY SANDWICH!

 

[Ziggy109]

Thanks for the help, everyone. I'm feeling a lot better now and have a much clearer idea of what to do with the situation. Again, thank you all for your encouraging words and support.

 

[Jake the Snake]

Women, well, women can do many things that drive us men absolutely crazy. This would be one of them. I have a "shrug it off, roll with the punches" kind of mentality when it comes to relationships. Does it sting that someone you loved basically kicked your heart in its ass? Yep, you betcha. But trust me, people capable of doing such things without regarding how the other party will feel in the slightest, you're better off without.

To quote the Shins: The worst part is over, now get back on that horse and ride.

Hm...now that I think about it, buy the song Turn On Me by the Shins. I think you might be able to relate to the lyrics quite well. Music can be a great source of therapy

 

[The-Story]

hey there, I'm guessing you've more or less had your debaucle solved. I read the first couple of pages of posts and just wanted to generally shout out to the escapists for being so kind. It's rare to find, even in 'real' life, people who are so supportive and kind and don't fall into these terrible habbits (flaming, calling out, denouncing, etc) that we hear happen in the interwebs so much (I'm looking at you youtube)

Anyway, I wanted to thank everyone for helping this young man here with his problem, and offer my advice if you still need or want it. Times are trying when things like this happen to you but knowing that you have an entire communitee that wishes the best for you and will always be there for you to talk makes a world of difference, between healthy coping, and felating a gun barrell.

You're awesome Escapist.

Hope you're keeping well, friend.

~Nicholas

 

[A-Heart-Of-Gold]

I give you the biggest hug known to man!

this hug will take a while!

 

[Meggiepants]

*Distraction!!!*

Spoiler: Bunny!

Now, seriously, the only good way I've found to get over a broken heart is to keep busy and do something that makes you happy.

I can't honestly give you advice more than that, but if you feel things are too much, you should see a licensed therapist or some other professional to help you. Despite how friendly the people on the Escapist are, it is still the internet, and you have no real idea of their credentials or their intentions. Don't let your health get any worse. See someone. I've seen what depression can do to people, and it ain't pretty.

 

[Nayr]

It's rough and a part of growing good luck *Hug* happens to the best of us, just keep your head high.

 

[Naheal]

Sit down, take a deep breath, give yourself a hug and think to yourself "this, too, shall pass". Now go do something you enjoy.

 

[LostTimeLady]

*Massive hug*

Chin up mate, you sound like just the kind of person that any girl would be honoured to date. You are committed, loyal and honest, all brilliant qualities.

I hope someone very special comes your way really soon and makes you a million times happier than that other girl.
You deserve it.

(P.S. You're right mate, the Escapist has some of the nicest people on the internet on here.)

 

[Lullabye]

*Blegh*
4 pages of googly eyes and rainbow hugs. Who knew the Escapist was so damn nice?
Well, OT: I feel for ya mate. I really do. My only advice would be to stop talking to her since she only seem only deliver you more depressing news.

I know, I'm terrible with people. now excuse me while I head to R&P to wash off all this freakin niceness.