i need help with my life

[Captain_Fantastic]

well this is usually the last thing i do but today im just feeling down.

to start im not unstable im not anything like that im just a semi normal guy who has hit a few roadblocks most of them come from where i live and my past living here for those who have not seen my rant posts i live in a small closed off industry town im recently graduated and i have absolutely no direction in life

the number one thing that bugs me is my social life, even though i do have a good circle of friends its small and there is little to no chance of expanding it or meeting any new friends due to the isolation of where i live. and i would settle for what i have but having most of them being either coupled off or fighting with somebody else in the group makes it seem like im the odd one out most of the time. and i hate to sound like an elitist but there are not many people that can really match me on my areas of intelligence. not to say im smarter than everybody but i never did any schoolwork other than math for the last two years of my schooling for a reason

and being the "single guy" wouldnt bother me as much were it not for my past with relationships if you could even call it that, see ive never really had a girlfriend or anybody that close in my life and as i explained above that wont change anytime soon, besides there is nobody here that i really like either.

and im not socially awkward in any way sure i get shy and occasionaly silent when im thinking in fact i was and still am pretty popular im well known by my graduating class as the "funny guy" another example is a while back i was in a fight and rumor had it that i only hung out with my friends out of pity leading me to believe im alot more popular than i once thought

what i think im really lacking is opportunity to expand my horizons and having no real way to do that is causing me some major problems i have no reason to go to college as i dont really have any idea what i would be good at or enjoy doing. and i can get a better paying job here due to growing industry and family connections. so its a hard deal either way... i guess i really just needed to get that off my chest. ps i dont care what kind of advice you have as long as its not "just wait it will get better" ive heard that too damn much recently

 

[Batou667]

im recently graduated and i have absolutely no direction in life

Happens to everybody, dude. Anybody who says otherwise is either fooling themselves or has never stopped to consider the important questions in life.

the number one thing that bugs me is my social life... and being the "single guy" wouldnt bother me as much... besides there is nobody here that i really like either.

A social life is important but not the be-all and end-all. I know that a lot of people are really socially dependent - they always have to be out, be surrounded by people, be seen, etc. I think it's a lot more important to be comfortable in your own skin first, and to be able to enjoy your own company. Friends and girlfriends then become an added bonus that enrich your life but that aren't something you couldn't possibly live without.

You mentioned there are no girls you particularly like - I'd suggest maybe befriending one or two of them anyway and trying to take them on practice dates. Even if things never really get off the ground, I think spending time in the company of women is really important. You get a different perspective on things, and it broadens the type of social interactions you have.

i have no reason to go to college as i dont really have any idea what i would be good at or enjoy doing.

It's good that you realise this. Too many people go to college/university just because "it's what people do after school, right?", and end up muddling their way through a course that they don't particularly like, either dropping out after a couple of years or graduating with a crummy degree and thousands in debt. Get some paid work and don't be afraid to switch from one job to another if the first one doesn't suit you. It may be called "work" but that doesn't mean it should be a chore.

i dont care what kind of advice you have as long as its not "just wait it will get better" ive heard that too damn much recently

Bingo. Waiting for things to change on their own is the last thing you should do. I'd say you seem to have a pretty good handle on things, all I'd say is what you're doing now, do more of it and do it in style! If you're anything like me, you probably spend too much time on the internet. Resolve to spend X number of hours per week LESS on the internet (or watching TV) and spend that time practising a hobby, going to some sport or social club, or volunteering at a local charity. Call your friends more often and ask them how their day is. Try to meet more people. Go to places where you meet people who are of different ages and gender to you (again, sports or social clubs). Get a job. Go to the bar after work with your coworkers. In your spare time study things you might be interested in (khan academy is great for this, it's basically a free internet distance-learning site, google it) or practice some kind of craft. Basically, try to improve yourself physically, mentally, socially and emotionally. Things will all fall into place after that.

 

[Captain_Fantastic]

Happens to everybody, dude. Anybody who says otherwise is either fooling themselves or has never stopped to consider the important questions in life.

yeah i fully understand that much i just dont have much for examples on how its worked out well for other people. ie, i know too many people who hate their job and have worked the same one for most of their life

A social life is important but not the be-all and end-all. I know that a lot of people are really socially dependent - they always have to be out, be surrounded by people, be seen, etc. I think it's a lot more important to be comfortable in your own skin first, and to be able to enjoy your own company. Friends and girlfriends then become an added bonus that enrich your life but that aren't something you couldn't possibly live without.

You mentioned there are no girls you particularly like - I'd suggest maybe befriending one or two of them anyway and trying to take them on practice dates.

oh yeah im more or less one of those "social butterflies" but its not like i dont have a well functioning social circle its just well to say it simply i can "click" with damn near anybody but its not very often that i meet somebody that matches my unique interests and ive seen what else is out there and i know there are other people who share the same quirks the same goes for the girl problem

but i am perfectly comfy in my skin heck i have my own double standard with most of the population here for doing strange things.(starting a drum circle at random places,wearing strange outfits,ect ect.)

and for the practice date idea.... it would be a great idea but the majority of the female population here is taken. and im sure i could count most of my outings with female friends as just that but like i said its hard to get just a taste of something better without wanting more( i kinda lied, I have had a girlfriend we dated for one day and then she moved and dissapeared from the face of the earth)

and end up muddling their way through a course that they don't particularly like,

exactly what i dont want to do. but i do want to find a job i enjoy waking up to in the morning and being the "social butterfly" i am i truly enjoy the thought of being an entertainer of some sort but being in a town that basically lives off of industry there are no options for testing my theory.....

Bingo. Waiting for things to change on their own is the last thing you should do. I'd say you seem to have a pretty good handle on things, all I'd say is what you're doing now, do more of it and do it in style! If you're anything like me, you probably spend too much time on the internet. Resolve to spend X number of hours per week LESS on the internet (or watching TV) and spend that time practising a hobby, going to some sport or social club, or volunteering at a local charity. Call your friends more often and ask them how their day is. Try to meet more people. Go to places where you meet people who are of different ages and gender to you (again, sports or social clubs). Get a job. Go to the bar after work with your coworkers. In your spare time study things you might be interested in (khan academy is great for this, it's basically a free internet distance-learning site, google it) or practice some kind of craft. Basically, try to improve yourself physically, mentally, socially and emotionally. Things will all fall into place after that.

hehehe to be honest ive spent more time gaming/internet surfing in the last few days than i have in months due to skyrim and sr3, as for hobbies i do try to get as many in as possible but once again the options here for my interests are slim but i am a martial arts weaponry collector who knows how to use just about every piece in my small armory from throwing knives to bo staffs to the sword and shield. i practice alone mind you as the only martial arts class in town is sadly an arrogant karate thing, im also a decent musician and im currently saving up for a motorcycle

on the topic of clubs and such.... there are none... yeah its a small town i know basically everybody. the only real place for socializing is the bars and im well aquainted with the bar group and the co worker idea would be great but im only 19 and from experience i can say the people i would work with would either be people i know or in their 40s but i thank you for taking the time to write such a well written reply . and im sorry for tearing it apart in such a way

 

[])rStrangelove]

- try to find other musicians in your area by pinning up posters are whatever. Music as a hobby can bind ppl together and someone is bound to know other bands around.
- buy a camera and try to ban your outlook on life into photos.
- write short stories for the local newspaper

 

[idodo35]

well if ya want to meet new people do this:
get in the car
drive to nearest city
enter a bar/party/whatever
socialize
also never say never for the waiting option i was in a simylar situation once (romanticly) and my (then new) girlfriend kind of fell out of the sky! (she was a good friend of my good friends girlfriend) so do not despair!