So, I finally managed to get signed up for some therapy.
Problem is, the appointment's in april, and even that's just the assessment to find out in exactly what way I've gone nuts. Before that, I have a ton of uni work to get through, but increasingly, whenever I think of work, there's part of me, louder and louder that says it doesn't give a shit. I'm on a media course, by the way. Production focused. I'll admit, my workload's a bit less intensive than most other courses, but for one, most other people aren't like me, and putting creativity into the mix makes things difficult sometimes. You spend weeks trying to come up with a good idea, only for someone to say it isn't good enough, or it's not artsy enough.
I find myself more and more opposed to the uni's way of making me do things. The fact that every one of my projects seems to get the same feedback that boils down to it needing to be more artsy. Nothing seems to go right, anyway. Something always fucks up no matter what I do and I end up rushing it in down to the fucking wire. Just once I'd like to, for a few weeks, not be on the brink of failure.
What's more, I barely understand how things work around here. People say that if I fail a module I can resubmit. But I thought you can only resubmit during summer, and I don't have the equipment at home, nor the rent money to stay here. People keep telling me not to worry, it's just one module, blah blah blah, but don't you fail it all if you fail one module? Nobody's explained properly, nobody wants to.
Nothing's fucking clear. I'm so fed up of it all. I'm fed up of having to refer my every last thought to some dead fucking pretentious prick.
I'd hope that once I get some help things'll get easier, or at least, they'll be legally obligated to have some sort of consideration for the shit I'm trying to cope with. But I need to get through two months and at least three assignments before then. And that's only the ones they've bothered telling me about...
So, any tips for keeping motivated when your sure that everything's going to go wrong, and if it doesn't, it'll just be some piece of shit that nobody actually likes but gets good grades because it hits a checklist?
Problem is, the appointment's in april, and even that's just the assessment to find out in exactly what way I've gone nuts. Before that, I have a ton of uni work to get through, but increasingly, whenever I think of work, there's part of me, louder and louder that says it doesn't give a shit. I'm on a media course, by the way. Production focused. I'll admit, my workload's a bit less intensive than most other courses, but for one, most other people aren't like me, and putting creativity into the mix makes things difficult sometimes. You spend weeks trying to come up with a good idea, only for someone to say it isn't good enough, or it's not artsy enough.
I find myself more and more opposed to the uni's way of making me do things. The fact that every one of my projects seems to get the same feedback that boils down to it needing to be more artsy. Nothing seems to go right, anyway. Something always fucks up no matter what I do and I end up rushing it in down to the fucking wire. Just once I'd like to, for a few weeks, not be on the brink of failure.
What's more, I barely understand how things work around here. People say that if I fail a module I can resubmit. But I thought you can only resubmit during summer, and I don't have the equipment at home, nor the rent money to stay here. People keep telling me not to worry, it's just one module, blah blah blah, but don't you fail it all if you fail one module? Nobody's explained properly, nobody wants to.
Nothing's fucking clear. I'm so fed up of it all. I'm fed up of having to refer my every last thought to some dead fucking pretentious prick.
I'd hope that once I get some help things'll get easier, or at least, they'll be legally obligated to have some sort of consideration for the shit I'm trying to cope with. But I need to get through two months and at least three assignments before then. And that's only the ones they've bothered telling me about...
So, any tips for keeping motivated when your sure that everything's going to go wrong, and if it doesn't, it'll just be some piece of shit that nobody actually likes but gets good grades because it hits a checklist?
