I promised I'd make a cheese thread

[Zykon TheLich_v1legacy]

Edam can fuck off. Wensleydale, Cheshire and Shropshire Blue are where it's at. Stilton and Yarg after those.

 

[Sable Gear]

Peasants, all of you! Truly the greatest cheese in the land is Bella Vitano! A firm white cheese with a sharp but sweet taste and hints of the wine with which it was rubbed while ageing. It needs no other foods but a simple cracker as its gleaming chariot and its partner merlot as driver!

In mighty Vitano's absence, I submit the humble Macedonian feta. Soft and creamy, not crumbly, but with all the salty tang a feta needs.

(And if you nerds are putting parmesean on your pasta you're wrong. Romano is the way to go.)

 

[an annoyed writer]

As a resident of the Holy Wisconsinite Empire of Packerstan, I am legally obligated to like cheese. Any Wisconsinite who does not is breaking the law in the most severe manner of the word, and is sent to the gulags. I tend to like a decent variety myself, including cheddar, parmesean, swiss, mozzarella, colby jack, and more. Hell, I even like American cheese, which tastes like an offshoot of cheddar to me :3

 

[Silence]

I love cheese. Swiss cheese, hollandic cheese, camembert, etc. etc.

Only not Harzer cheese. That shit is disgusting.

 

[Imperioratorex Caprae]

Dare you challenge God's favoured cheese?

Oh holy Cheezus son of Gouda! Bless us with brie and lead us not into the Valley of the Shadow of Limburger.

Spoiler: Knock and I shall answer

 

[solemnwar]

I like (old) cheddar, mozzarella, and monteray jack the best

Now, time for a really, really tragic tale. All you cheese lovers will probably cry:

I'm lactose intolerant. Even with the lactase pills, I'll suffer stomach cramps and diarrhea, varying from right away to lying in wait for the next day. At best I'll be uncomfortable, at worst I'm trapped in the bathroom for an hour, so I have to avoid dairy products- cheese included- unless I'm sure I don't have to be anywhere for the next day or so.

I'm the only person in my family with this ailment. And then one day my sister says to me, "I'm not that big a fan of cheese."

Nearly punched her in the face.

 

[sky pies]

I see your Edam and raise you aged cheddar and a bottle of wine. Note that I don't need crackers, I don't need a wine glass, I just need the bottle and a nub of aged cheddar and i'll be dreaming of technicolor alien invasions and crashing planets all night long.

BTW i only do this on avg. every 2 or 3 months

 

[sky pies]

Spoiler: Mod edit: please put large images in spoilers.

I can double post because the name of this thread is "I promised I'd make a cheese thread". Let us gaze upon the ultimate in disgusting cheeses, 'Casu Marzu' from some place in Italy, in which the flavour is attained by injecting maggots, allowing them to breed, and eating the bloody stuff when it's insides are all decomposed to goo. Some of the veteran eaters of this disgusting creation don't even pick out the bloody maggots before eating it. I tell you, this is like eating a haggis that is full of writhing maggots. Can't get any more disgusting than this.

 

[-Dragmire-]

Ohhhh, tough call.

I just had an amazing cheese fondue so in light of that I'll say swiss.

In block form I'll take old cheddar and melted(on nachos/pizza/crackers etc..) I'd take either marble or monterey jack.

 

[FPLOON]

I should make a chocolate thread...

If you do, that would give me the Snickers...

OT: I like my cheese sliced, diced, and/or melting on top of my pizza, nachos, and/or Ritz...

Other than that, "It's Gouda meet you" always makes me snicker...

 

[1981]

Mozzarella. You can even buy it grated. Imagine the possibilities. It's like sliced bread, except bread is easier to slice.

 

[Gordon_4_v1legacy]

Mozzarella is nice, but I find it better as an ingredient than eaten for its own sake. A good, sharp Cracker Barrel vintage cheese can be eaten on its own, and you can tell the really good ones as they sort of crumble when you cut them. For soft cheeses, a good triple cream Brie on water crackers has no equal. King Island Dairy for life mother fuckers.

Mind you, if there was a tour I could take going to dairy farms to try cheeses as one takes a wine tour, I'd be all over that shit.

 

[Katherine Kerensky]

Personally, I prefer mozzarella. It's nice as standard, grated, and the way it melts...
So, mozzarella takes my top cheese spot. That, or mascarpone. That stuff is fething delicious.

 

[FalloutJack]

Who exactly did you make this promise too? And don't tell me it was Cheesus!!

 

[Cowabungaa]

Ahhh cheese, as a Dutch person I can't get enough of it. So many kinds too. Simple Dutch young cheese, smooth and melting on the tongue. Sharp, hard French and British cheeses especially but Parmesan as well. To a lesser degree soft cheeses, but I adore me some Port Salut, proper mozzarella, a good bit of brie, feta sometimes.

Yeah, cheese is amazing. I can't wait until I can afford good cheese again.

I miss cheese. Recent self imposed dietary restrictions cut me off from one of my favorite foods. And I like all of it - Chedder, mozzarella, 'processed cheese products,' every single type I know of.

The problem I have now is that, by denying myself cheese, I've managed to turn it into a fetish. I can't trust myself around it, lest I eat 10 pounds of it at once, or take a block of it in a manly fashion. A conundrum if I've ever been in one.

And that's why, for dietary purposes, it's a lot more helpful to simply lessen consumption considerably. To moderate, have 'cheat days', that kind of stuff. Makes it a lot easier to make dietary changes a habit, to keep them up for decades. Because when diet is concerned you have to think long term.

Blasphemy, Edam is not a cheese, it's reconstituted Dutch bicycle tyres sold to the world as cheese by the evil the burghers of Holland.

*gasp* The vile concoctions that we export is nothing compared to the stuff we keep for ourselves. Gah, now I want me some classic Dutch cumin-cheese, well-matured, real Gouda and some creamy 'grass cheese'.

 

[DefunctTheory]

I miss cheese. Recent self imposed dietary restrictions cut me off from one of my favorite foods. And I like all of it - Chedder, mozzarella, 'processed cheese products,' every single type I know of.

The problem I have now is that, by denying myself cheese, I've managed to turn it into a fetish. I can't trust myself around it, lest I eat 10 pounds of it at once, or take a block of it in a manly fashion. A conundrum if I've ever been in one.

And that's why, for dietary purposes, it's a lot more helpful to simply lessen consumption considerably. To moderate, have 'cheat days', that kind of stuff. Makes it a lot easier to make dietary changes a habit, to keep them up for decades. Because when diet is concerned you have to think long term.

My whole diet has been based on moderation - Its the best way to get thin and/or healthy. I haven't cut anything entirely out of my meals, be it bread, or dessert, or beef or even bacon, except cheese. I only cut cheese entirely out because I love it so much... I trusted myself to be able to moderate my beef consumption, but I did not believe I could do so with cheese. Its obviously back fired.

Once I realized what I had done, I tried to ease my way back into cheese with low fat/fat free mozzarella, but that hasn't helped (Probably because processed American 'cheese' is cheesier then that stuff). On the plus side, only 6 pounds to go until I loosen up my dietary restrictions. So I'll see what happens then.

Posted on a phone. I reserve the right to clean up my quoting and fix the worst of the grammar and auto correct mistakes later on a proper computer.

 

[Albino Boo]

Personally, I prefer mozzarella. It's nice as standard, grated, and the way it melts...
So, mozzarella takes my top cheese spot. That, or mascarpone. That stuff is fething delicious.

Are you planning to found clan Cheese Buffalo?