I think my boyfriend is developing a WoW addiction?

[Imperioratorex Caprae]

See, I got it right, I got my girlfriend (now wife) into playing WoW with me. Then she can't ***** at me for being an addict cuz she is too.

You, my friend, are evil.

And a genius.

TBH, WoW actually saved my relationship with my wife. We were separated for almost 2 years because of a job and having WoW together and regularly playing has kept us happy. So people can't say WoW is truly evil. Its not the product its the person using it.

Get a life, WOW'er.

WOW is now an insult.

Besides thats like the most pathetic excuse of a life Ive ever heard.

Dick much? You must have lots of friends.

 

[Folio]

My sister had that. The guy she was with was not only a gamer driven to win. But a manipulator to boot. Ending the relationship just to play with her feelings by wanting her back later.

She stood up with his games (and his 'games') and joined some Diablo and WoW. All fine. But moments came when the only way she could talk to him was through Diablo.

So this guy doesn't take life seriously. He needs stimulance, true. But he also needs to mind his limits.

I have played WoW once, the effects weren't as severe as Ultima Online O_O waste of two years of afternoons...

I'm not a love expert. (we all aren't, nobody can give us a degree of those) But I ask you this: Why do you love him?

 

[Continuity]

I'm not a love expert. (we all aren't, nobody can give us a degree of those) But I ask you this: Why do you love him?

Why does anyone love anyone, that's not the point, all relationships take work from both parties and lots of compromise. Just because someone is a gamer doesn't necessarily mean you ought to drop them like a hot potato.

 

[nothinghere]

[removed]

 

[Folio]

I'm not a love expert. (we all aren't, nobody can give us a degree of those) But I ask you this: Why do you love him?

Why does anyone love anyone, that's not the point, all relationships take work from both parties and lots of compromise. Just because someone is a gamer doesn't necessarily mean you ought to drop them like a hot potato.

True, but you have a job to have money. Some will work hard for more. Some less hard for less.

Some have the work they've always wanted and happily go every day and enjoy it (and their paycheck because it's awesome!)

So there are little compromises. (he may pick his nose, but he never complains about my snores) But when is a relationship worth staying with? (he punches me when I don't bring his slippers) We all have our limits. Listen to them.

I'm not saying he is treating her badly. But people love eachother for the things they have, can relate to or that special something you just can't describe.

The relationship started for a reason: love. This is a spark that started everything. Is the spark still burning? Or is his computerscreen burning brighter?

 

[Legion IV]

Love is overrated. Roll a Paladin.

Its a hobby and he either really likes it or finds it as a good stress relief and something to get immersed with. Think of it as a bowling, but much easier to access and should leave you with no doubt that he might be having affair.

If you care about him, then yes, dumbing him would be the best excuse to stop caring about him.

Try to take an interest with hes hobby. You might actually find a new hobby for you both to share with. Plus, if you can rationally control your play times, it would also make him be more aware of his addiction.

If the addiction gets really bad, then the problem isnt with the game anymore, but something more deeper.

But for starts you should just tell him that your worried about this. Taking the game away from him only works if hes willfully trying to find an excuse to stop.

Or you could just kill him and stuff him. Never hurts to learn something new.

This. love is overrated. I'd rather pick a stable hobbie then a relationship that could end the next day but then again mabey you both are really close and mature if so just dump him.

 

[Continuity]

I'm not a love expert. (we all aren't, nobody can give us a degree of those) But I ask you this: Why do you love him?

Why does anyone love anyone, that's not the point, all relationships take work from both parties and lots of compromise. Just because someone is a gamer doesn't necessarily mean you ought to drop them like a hot potato.

True, but you have a job to have money. Some will work hard for more. Some less hard for less.

Some have the work they've always wanted and happily go every day and enjoy it (and their paycheck because it's awesome!)

So there are little compromises. (he may pick his nose, but he never complains about my snores) But when is a relationship worth staying with? (he punches me when I don't bring his slippers) We all have our limits. Listen to them.

I'm not saying he is treating her badly. But people love eachother for the things they have, can relate to or that special something you just can't describe.

The relationship started for a reason: love. This is a spark that started everything. Is the spark still burning? Or is his computerscreen burning brighter?

I dont really disagree with any of your points here but I think its important to say that gaming (or any other hobby) and love are not mutually exclusive, if your partner develops an addiction then looking for an excuse to dump them isn't the most constructive solution. Obviously you always need to be mindful of what your feelings are but using somthing as ephemeral as feelings as a litmus test for a serious relationship is a good way to end up with a string of failed relationships.
Successful relationships are more about acceptance, respect, compromise, ans a sense of humour than anything so grandiose as "the burning spark of love".

 

[thedeathscythe]

Looked everywhere for a gaming addiction forum and they don't seem to exist, so you guys are my last hope
My boyfriend's had a gaming addiction in the past, his family have told me he used to spend around 18hrs a day gaming, I tolerate him playing games for a couple of hours a day otherwise he literally gets withdrawal symptoms.
When he bought WoW I was worried because I'd heard about it being extremely addictive and it turns out I was right to be worried I would say he spends 4-5, a day, sometimes more, playing WoW and when he's not playing it he just goes on about how much he wants to play.
I know 4-5 hours isn't anything too serious yet but he does have a past history of game addiction, so am I over reacting or not? If not what do I do?
Any response greatly appreciated

Talk to him about it, if you haven't already. And if you haven't, why haven't you? If you don't feel comfortable talking to him, then his possible gaming addictions are the least of your concerns. Girls I date talk to me about how much I game (which is a reasonable amount. I can game for long sessions but I never neglect girls I see), and we work things out. They don't go online behind my back asking for advice.

 

[RicoADF]

Looked everywhere for a gaming addiction forum and they don't seem to exist, so you guys are my last hope
My boyfriend's had a gaming addiction in the past, his family have told me he used to spend around 18hrs a day gaming, I tolerate him playing games for a couple of hours a day otherwise he literally gets withdrawal symptoms.
When he bought WoW I was worried because I'd heard about it being extremely addictive and it turns out I was right to be worried I would say he spends 4-5, a day, sometimes more, playing WoW and when he's not playing it he just goes on about how much he wants to play.
I know 4-5 hours isn't anything too serious yet but he does have a past history of game addiction, so am I over reacting or not? If not what do I do?
Any response greatly appreciated

T-Bone seem to get it down pat:

From a quasi-gaming addict to the girlfriend of another: I play to escape. I play to get away from a tedious existence. I play WoW so much because, well, I might as well as I have no preferable alternative (plenty of friends and that, just psychological hoohah prevents me arranging things and no one seems to want to do anything with me. Sadface.).

What I suggest to you is make life more appealing to him. Find a way to offer him a sweeter alternative. He'll just spiral deeper into WoW if you let it continue and you (not just you mind, friends and family should play a part) should arrange things for him. If he's anything like me, he's waiting for someone to arrange something better for him.

As I know nothing about you or your boyfriend, I can only offer my perspective. Hope this helps.

EDIT:

Use the classic ultimatum "Its either me, or the game"
He's either gonna come crawling, or turn round on his chair and keep playing
If its the latter then he's no good for you

For God's sake, don't do this. He will completely resent you for making him give up something he enjoys for you. You can ask him to limit his time but, please, don't tell him to stop completely.

Basically the question is why he's playing the game so much, is there nothing else that he can do? Offering him other alternatives of what to do during the night would probably get him away from the computer, such as going out, watching a movie together, stuff like that which you 2 can do together.
I can say from my personal experience that I game because I'm bored and have nothing else to do (most people around here go to pubs & clubs or play sports, which I have no interest in), so I turn to gaming to socialize with people that have similar interests.
Defiantly DON'T give an ultimatum, he'll feel betrayed and will turn on you like a rattle snake.
Having said that 5 hrs a day isn't that bad, depending how much free time he has. Does he have time for you? If you feel that he's not giving you enough time (or if your just worried about him) then talk to him and explain your concerns. As long as your nice about it and don't come on as being a mother figure then you should be able to work it out. If however he wont even talk about it and goes on a hissy fit and blows up at you, then more drastic measures may be needed.

Feel free to PM me if you need more suggestions/someone to talk to.

 

[Palademon]

Looked everywhere for a gaming addiction forum and they don't seem to exist, so you guys are my last hope
My boyfriend's had a gaming addiction in the past, his family have told me he used to spend around 18hrs a day gaming, I tolerate him playing games for a couple of hours a day otherwise he literally gets withdrawal symptoms.
When he bought WoW I was worried because I'd heard about it being extremely addictive and it turns out I was right to be worried I would say he spends 4-5, a day, sometimes more, playing WoW and when he's not playing it he just goes on about how much he wants to play.
I know 4-5 hours isn't anything too serious yet but he does have a past history of game addiction, so am I over reacting or not? If not what do I do?
Any response greatly appreciated

Something about this really annoys me. Not only have you come here purely to complain about your boyfriend playing games, but you're following the lead of media in regards to WoW.

Anyway, yes, if he's an addictive perosn you can worry. 18 horus is alot, but I spent that much time on Fable 3 on it's release date. I wouldn't worry about 4-5 hours since that's not much. If it gets worse then worry. 4-5 isn't addictive as much as having fun.

I'm sorry for being a bit biased about this. But based on what you've written it seems like you don't respect gaming as a hobby. I admit your boy friend is a bit excessive. In most cases people have said he doesn't deserve you, I take an equal ground with both sides. He doesn't deserve you if he refuses to spend time with you for playing, and you don't deserve him for not respcting his hobby, which at the moment is not an addiction. WoW is addictive mostly because it never ends and it's really fun to people who like it, but don't think of it badly because you "heard" how addictive it is. Maybe you could try it as a way to spend time with him.

Sorry that I'm being mean here, but it's annoying to see society blame things on games. Like WoW being addictive and violent games are worse that smoking being addictive. It's certainly more about the person personality and how mature they are.

 

[Folio]

I'm not a love expert. (we all aren't, nobody can give us a degree of those) But I ask you this: Why do you love him?

Why does anyone love anyone, that's not the point, all relationships take work from both parties and lots of compromise. Just because someone is a gamer doesn't necessarily mean you ought to drop them like a hot potato.

True, but you have a job to have money. Some will work hard for more. Some less hard for less.

Some have the work they've always wanted and happily go every day and enjoy it (and their paycheck because it's awesome!)

So there are little compromises. (he may pick his nose, but he never complains about my snores) But when is a relationship worth staying with? (he punches me when I don't bring his slippers) We all have our limits. Listen to them.

I'm not saying he is treating her badly. But people love eachother for the things they have, can relate to or that special something you just can't describe.

The relationship started for a reason: love. This is a spark that started everything. Is the spark still burning? Or is his computerscreen burning brighter?

I dont really disagree with any of your points here but I think its important to say that gaming (or any other hobby) and love are not mutually exclusive, if your partner develops an addiction then looking for an excuse to dump them isn't the most constructive solution. Obviously you always need to be mindful of what your feelings are but using somthing as ephemeral as feelings as a litmus test for a serious relationship is a good way to end up with a string of failed relationships.
Successful relationships are more about acceptance, respect, compromise, ans a sense of humour than anything so grandiose as "the burning spark of love".

Hm, when you put it THAT way, leaving him might be rather harsh and he might not even understand the situation of it all.

If I had a relation with a drug addict I might try to put her in rehab. But this guy's already been in rehab. Does he need to return? Or what I'm saying: Is there really no hope for 'these people'? Is she wasting her time and effort? Is he just blind to see the facts?

Och! so many questions! Why can't I ever get this stuff?

 

[LordXel]

Remember you only have a month now to get him in direct sunlight before the third expansion pack comes out. I hope it works out for you.

 

[Last Valiance]

An ultimatum will screw your relationship either way. Seriously, don't do it.

 

[Girl With One Eye]

Assuming you guys live together I can understand why you would think it is a major problem and an addiction. But I myself (on my days off work) can pretty much spend 6 or 7 hours playing games without even thinking about it. I think the best way to go about it is to talk to him, not make him stop playing WoW (because thats just mean) but try and reach some kind of compromise like if you go on a date for 3 hours he can play WoW for that amount of time when you get back? I guess it depends on how much he values your relationship and how understanding you are willing to be. Don't let him put the game before you and your happiness, but don't take away his happiness in the process. I'm not sure if that made sense :/ but if you are both in love then I'm sure you can work it out.

 

[SkellgrimOrDave]

Make real life better than WoW. Simple as that, that's the reason people get drawn into these kind of things, they offer things their own life can't give them.

 

[Merkavar]

how do you play 18 hours a day with a job? and if he doesnt have a job then who pays for the game/ subscription?

they have the power.

 

[Ekonk]

Talk to him.

That's all there is to be done, really.