I understand!

[Booze Zombie]

Some of you posting may recall a thread I made where I basically worried and stressed out a lot about a friend and a situation involving relationship advice I had given making him... quite unhappy.

So as a result, I was angry and I was trying to figure out why... then I realised that I resented my lack of control of the issue despite my setting it off, my friend withdrawing and basically dealing with his emotions on his own whilst I do nothing, because he doesn't want me to do anything.

I don't want to sound petty or emotional or anything but I probably am, until a few minutes ago, thinking about this made me quite angry as I've come to the realisation that I resent a lot of lack of control in my life and that upon reflection, a lot of people seem to resent lack of control, really and a lot of conflict seems to arise from this.

So... people of The Escapist, is there any way you deal with a lack of control over a situation?

 

[Booze Zombie]

Booze, my dear friend.

Well, to be quite honest... I've done that. I sure as hell don't feel any more in control, but I feel happy!

 

[Aerodyamic]

Do you have any hobbies that allow you to exert control over something? Like building models, playing lemmings, etc?

 

[Booze Zombie]

Do you have any hobbies that allow you to exert control over something? Like building models, playing lemmings, etc?

I play video games, I write and I drink alcohol. I must admit to being a pretty boring person.

 

[Indeterminacy]

So... people of The Escapist, is there any way you deal with a lack of control over a situation?

When you don't have control over a situation, you have to let it play out. Whenever I feel out of control, I will almost always take a step back, plan what I can do for when things are back within my control, then go do something else for a while.

 

[Booze Zombie]

When you don't have control over a situation, you have to let it play out. Whenever I feel out of control, I will almost always take a step back, plan what I can do for when things are back within my control, then go do something else for a while.

Yeah, just survey what you can and keep moving.

No-one has control; we are all flotsam in the stormy seas of life, trying to wash up on those little islands of calm.

I deal with stress by bottling it up. I am rigidly controlled emotionally, but am prone to sudden mood swings from euphoric to crushingly depressed. Sometimes I drink and I forget, but its always not far behind...

When and if I get some income, it'll be better. But until I do, it's going to be one boring-ass slog.

You sound like my friend... which makes me think he doesn't have any control over the situation, either, when previously I thought he was the one locking it down. It's a refreshing thought, thank you.

 

[Booze Zombie]

No problem. I've known many people, and the only ones who have some semblance of a normal life are the tossers who left school early to be mechanics, binmen, and stuff like that. These people have as much wit as a turd on the road, yet they are the ones with a job and a girlfriend, ect. The ones who stayed on-the ones with smarts- and went to college or University are stuck with fuck all. We can't change that just now, because of how things are in the world.

Its stressful, depressing, and even cause for suicide sometimes. It all just seems hopeless. But at the same time, you just need to keep forging ahead. Gotta keep the faith, because without it...well, whats the fuckin' point?

I don't know about faith, but I've kept my "youthful spark", the idea that I'm always working to keep going for something better and gaining more knowledge and experience as I go along, but I still get smacked down emotionally, but then I grow from it, learn from the experience.

Doesn't stop me feeling bad, but you know, it's nice to feel you're growing from the pain and if various war efforts can be justified I can sure as hell justify my little issues.

 

[FalloutJack]

Obviously, it depends on the situation. I can't just give you a cover-all explanation for every little thing. However, if I don't have control over a situation in some way, then the situation is officially fucked.

 

[Cheesus333]

I play games, usually Fallout. Total manipulation of my self-contstructed avatars certainly remedies the feeling of helplessness and lack of control.

Of course, sometimes they rebel and that's just doubly troubling