I wish I was a gay man...(updated on Page 4)
- Thread starter Valis88
- Start date
This may be hard for you and others. but i believe this to be true.. there is no such thing as "True Love"... Now hear me out. i am not saying there isn't people who truly love each other however they aren't always happy and yay i am in love. Love is a Choice you choose to make daily. there is no falling in and out of love. love is difficult you have to work at it and choose to love that person. it wont always be fun, or romantic, or interesting but it will be worth it.
I'm gay.
First: Gay relationships seems to last longer, because when you finally find someone who share your sexual attractions, you want to keep them. Being heterosexual is like easymode sexuality. There are lots of people who share your sexuality.
As a gay person, when you finally find a person in real life, next step is the fact that they have to be 1) Gay 2) Attracting 3) Likeable 4) Relationship material. Since this isn't something that happens very often, since statisticly 10 people out of 150 will be gay, when you finally find a combination of the four traits, you want to cling on to them. Fighting over the dishes or laundry suddenly don't become worth it, compared to the amount of work and time it took to find them in the first place.
I am not saying that heteroseuxals do not at least try to get it to work, but I do think that some heteroseuxals take their selection of wares for granted, when they consider their own personal feelings toward a partner. "I can just get a new one". Many pop culture songs actually endorses this way of thought, and I think that it's worth considering, that gay relationships are harder to get into, simply because there necssesarily aren't an abundance of gay people around in your daily life.
I like my sexuality, but I think you should appreciate your own aswell. If you like men - and like being a woman, you should stay with that. The grass might seem greener on the other side, but you forget the downsides of having to be called sick, perverted, ******, sinner, moral decay, second grade citizen and nazi on a regular basis by the viewers and writers of FOX News and Conservative media around the world. As a gay guy/girl, you lose the title of "human" in some peoples eyes.
First: Gay relationships seems to last longer, because when you finally find someone who share your sexual attractions, you want to keep them. Being heterosexual is like easymode sexuality. There are lots of people who share your sexuality.
As a gay person, when you finally find a person in real life, next step is the fact that they have to be 1) Gay 2) Attracting 3) Likeable 4) Relationship material. Since this isn't something that happens very often, since statisticly 10 people out of 150 will be gay, when you finally find a combination of the four traits, you want to cling on to them. Fighting over the dishes or laundry suddenly don't become worth it, compared to the amount of work and time it took to find them in the first place.
I am not saying that heteroseuxals do not at least try to get it to work, but I do think that some heteroseuxals take their selection of wares for granted, when they consider their own personal feelings toward a partner. "I can just get a new one". Many pop culture songs actually endorses this way of thought, and I think that it's worth considering, that gay relationships are harder to get into, simply because there necssesarily aren't an abundance of gay people around in your daily life.
I like my sexuality, but I think you should appreciate your own aswell. If you like men - and like being a woman, you should stay with that. The grass might seem greener on the other side, but you forget the downsides of having to be called sick, perverted, ******, sinner, moral decay, second grade citizen and nazi on a regular basis by the viewers and writers of FOX News and Conservative media around the world. As a gay guy/girl, you lose the title of "human" in some peoples eyes.
I'm a straight male and I don't want to be a stereotypical "Leave it to Beaver" house dad who takes his little Jimmy and Bobby fishing and teaches them life lessons either. The very thought bores me to death. You just have to find a person with the same mindset, and gender doesn't make that any easier/harder.
I had no idea that there was a derogatory term for being hetero. The more you know...Valis88 said:
OT: Yea, as a straight dude who's housemate happened to be pretty much gay I can assure you 100 percent that your representations of gay life are pretty much in the wrong. They absolutely have the same issues as everyone else, only moreso by the fact that there are even fewer of them. Trust me, media warps all of the relationships to seem however they want you to see them. This does not translate into reality very well.
Well goodness, let's see, I'm gay, been essentially single my whole life and am a virgin at 20. All (and I'm not even exaggerating) gay/bisexual guys I've met only want one-night-stands, open relationships, or friends with benefits. The idea of monogamy or a long-term relationship turns them off, and unfortunately for me I suppose, that's what I want (and one of them even said I had a "heteronormative disease", yes, those exact words).
So frankly, I honestly don't see what it is YOU see. Of course, I'm just speaking from experience, although you did say your beliefs are mostly based on what you see in fictional media, so...
So frankly, I honestly don't see what it is YOU see. Of course, I'm just speaking from experience, although you did say your beliefs are mostly based on what you see in fictional media, so...
I wouldn't recommend surgery. You'd just be mutilating your genitals for... what reason? You still have two X chromosomes, can't change that. Also, it sounds like you've romaticized "gay love" a wee bit too much. I have two friends who are gay (and were in a relationship with eachother) They went through almost the same shit I've gone through with past girlfriends, 'cept they were dudes.Valis88 said:
Maybe just go play the field? How long has it been since you were last in a relationship?
Miss V,
2 things.
1) If you're looking for a male partner, don't sell yourself so short. Your male-oriented interests are generally an appealing quality to men. My wife loves games too, but I also wish she'd watch UFC with me.
2) I am sure the idea of a sex change has floated around your head for a while, but be very careful before committing to anything. Talk to people who have undergone the procedure, your uncertainty and confusion is not uncommon. A friend of a friend was born a male and dated women, and about 3 years ago had a sex change to become a woman. 'She' then got into a decent length relationship with a guy, but after a year or so broke it off because she decided that she prefers women after all. From what I have heard, she is satisfied with her decision to become a woman, so it just seems she was unsure which gender she was attracted to more.
So as another poster here said, yes, essentially she was a man who became a lesbian. But the issue here is that they still had unresolved issues and simply having a sex change didn't fix them.
2 things.
1) If you're looking for a male partner, don't sell yourself so short. Your male-oriented interests are generally an appealing quality to men. My wife loves games too, but I also wish she'd watch UFC with me.
2) I am sure the idea of a sex change has floated around your head for a while, but be very careful before committing to anything. Talk to people who have undergone the procedure, your uncertainty and confusion is not uncommon. A friend of a friend was born a male and dated women, and about 3 years ago had a sex change to become a woman. 'She' then got into a decent length relationship with a guy, but after a year or so broke it off because she decided that she prefers women after all. From what I have heard, she is satisfied with her decision to become a woman, so it just seems she was unsure which gender she was attracted to more.
So as another poster here said, yes, essentially she was a man who became a lesbian. But the issue here is that they still had unresolved issues and simply having a sex change didn't fix them.
funny how this reminds me of a friend who crossdresses as an anime chick wishing he really was one
You're "not doomed to heterosexuality" per say. I mean, what about homosexual male relationships can't be applied to homosexual female relationships? I mean, you get the whole romance without any goal other than romance, and therefore pure love thing going on.Valis88 said:
And I don't want to be insulting or anything but just seems to me like you're a yaoi fan whose put too much thought into things.
I feel like you every time I hang out with my hot twin gay friends. Jokes aside, it sounds like you have an extremely romanticized version of gay relationships. All relationships have problems, they'll all be messy at one point or the other, and none of them have the Disney happy ending. Sorry man, that's just the way it is.
Now I can understand if gay relationships appear to be strong, or even stronger, but gays go through a lot of discrimination and hate based on their sexual preferences. A gay couple probably has to go through a lot of hate on an everyday basis. That kind of stuff may strengthen your resolve to stick together, but it's tough mentally.
Video games and action movies aren't just for men, that's sexist bullshit. Embrace who you are and what you want to watch or do and just don't care about what others say. Nobody's forcing you to be a wife (and if they are, then get out!), and no-one's forcing you to have kids (again, RUN). There are tonnes of people who think that way, and that's perfectly ok. Point is, being less girly than the average girl isn't an automatic turn-off. Hell, I'm a girl and guys tend to like what they call my 'man brain'. So give it some time, don't sweat it, and don't generalize all guys.
Now I can understand if gay relationships appear to be strong, or even stronger, but gays go through a lot of discrimination and hate based on their sexual preferences. A gay couple probably has to go through a lot of hate on an everyday basis. That kind of stuff may strengthen your resolve to stick together, but it's tough mentally.
Video games and action movies aren't just for men, that's sexist bullshit. Embrace who you are and what you want to watch or do and just don't care about what others say. Nobody's forcing you to be a wife (and if they are, then get out!), and no-one's forcing you to have kids (again, RUN). There are tonnes of people who think that way, and that's perfectly ok. Point is, being less girly than the average girl isn't an automatic turn-off. Hell, I'm a girl and guys tend to like what they call my 'man brain'. So give it some time, don't sweat it, and don't generalize all guys.