If you could change your name to literally anything, what would you pick?

[Queen Michael]

What the subject line says. And I'm not misusing the word "literally," because I'm not only talking about letter combinations that can be converted into sound combinations. I mean anything. Like the color blue. So whenever you'd need to sign your name, you'd place a blotch of blue ink. Or you could make the melody of "In the Hall of the Mountain King" your name. Or a twitch of your eyebrow.

What'd you pick?

 

[Kyrian007]

Brian. Jeff. Alan. Maybe something crazy like... Daniel.

Or, in case somebody doesn't get where I'm going, something freaking normal. Having a "different" or "unique" name... sucks. Anyone planning on being a parent... take it from someone who has that name that stands out. That "special" name that's different from the rest. DON'T DO THAT TO YOUR KIDS. Pick a normal name. AND THEN SPELL IT RIGHT. And put that on the birth certificate. You will be doing that child a HUGE favor. Call him Bill. Call her Jane.

I introduce myself... and then have to answer the questions. The same damn questions every single time I'm introduced to anyone. "Is that with a J? How weird. Is that short for anything? Where did your parents come up with that?" And so on...

I just want to get on with forgetting your name, and instead I have to spend 5 minutes explaining my name. The only reason I haven't already changed mine is because I tried and it failed. After high school I went to a college were no one from my high school was going or had gone for several years. I knew no one there. I was going to introduce myself as "Ryan" and that would be that. My "unique" name would be gone forever. And then I met my roommate, Ryan. And the guy in the dorm next to me, Ryan. And there was another Ryan at the end of the hall. And someone found out that wasn't my "real" first name... and that was that.

Plus, no one ever gave me a nickname. There was never any need. True, I wasn't saddled with a nickname that I hated that stuck... but no one ever even tried to give me a nickname. Considering my friends and I gave nicknames to 7 different Daves to tell them apart in conversation I feel kind of left out sometimes.

 

[Saelune]

Mira.

 

[Scarim Coral]

Proably Ryan. It's a different name but it still keep the R in my first name.

 

[Here Comes Tomorrow]

Bulk Squatthrust

 

[Dizchu]

Sergeant Bash

 

[Chimpzy_v1legacy]

Below is a list of real life people with badass and manly names

Max Fightmaster
Rad Heroman
Dick Pound
Rip Torn
Powers Boothe
Flex Plexico
Hafthor Julius "Thor" Bjornsson
Magnus ver Magnusson
Manley Power
Hyman Shocker
Lance Armstrong
Wolf Blitzer

Take your pick.

Special mentions go to:

Elliot Bonebrake, who is a chiropractor.
Duncan Steel, because he is also a tenured professor and thus is regularly called Professor Steel.

 

[Sonmi]

Moose McLarge.

In all honesty though, I'd probably shorten my name. I'm pretty much already doing it, using only 3 out of my 5 names, might even kick it to only 2.

Having a name that long is a bit of a bother.

 

[necromanzer52]

Brian. Jeff. Alan. Maybe something crazy like... Daniel.

Or, in case somebody doesn't get where I'm going, something freaking normal. Having a "different" or "unique" name... sucks. Anyone planning on being a parent... take it from someone who has that name that stands out. That "special" name that's different from the rest. DON'T DO THAT TO YOUR KIDS. Pick a normal name. AND THEN SPELL IT RIGHT. And put that on the birth certificate. You will be doing that child a HUGE favor. Call him Bill. Call her Jane.

I introduce myself... and then have to answer the questions. The same damn questions every single time I'm introduced to anyone. "Is that with a J? How weird. Is that short for anything? Where did your parents come up with that?" And so on...

I just want to get on with forgetting your name, and instead I have to spend 5 minutes explaining my name. The only reason I haven't already changed mine is because I tried and it failed. After high school I went to a college were no one from my high school was going or had gone for several years. I knew no one there. I was going to introduce myself as "Ryan" and that would be that. My "unique" name would be gone forever. And then I met my roommate, Ryan. And the guy in the dorm next to me, Ryan. And there was another Ryan at the end of the hall. And someone found out that wasn't my "real" first name... and that was that.

Plus, no one ever gave me a nickname. There was never any need. True, I wasn't saddled with a nickname that I hated that stuck... but no one ever even tried to give me a nickname. Considering my friends and I gave nicknames to 7 different Daves to tell them apart in conversation I feel kind of left out sometimes.

I feel your pain, my friend. Also, due to my "unique" name sounding similar to some more common names, and the fact that I'm somewhat soft-spoken, people usually mishear me and start calling me something else. I gave up correcting them a long time ago. Fortunately though, my plan to introduce myself with a more normal name in college was successful.

Please, anyone who reads this, give your children a nice, normal first name. Give them a weird middle name if you want. Just don't make them resent you every single time they have to introduce themselves.

 

[Thaluikhain]

Having a weird unique name wouldn't be that great. Mind you, I have an almost unique last name, but it looks like a name.

 

[Wintermute_v1legacy]

Last Content, the Most Popular Most Commented

 

[Shoggoth2588]

I dunno...Probably something like Silver Andromeda, Silver Arcturus or, First-of-Four.

 

[Tuesday Night Fever]

I once spoke over the phone to a health insurance representative named Rad McCool. My coworkers were all staring at me wondering what the hell was so funny as I was trying, and failing, to stifle laughter while asking him if 'Rad' was short for something. Turns out it was short for "Radley" - not Radical. He sounded like a man who probably had to answer that question a dozen times each and every day with his job, because he sounded pretty upset.

That's the day I decided that I'm happy not having a particularly unique name.

 

[Neurotic Void Melody]

Queen Michael MKII: evolved and extra shiny, polished transcendence.

Orrrr...just a question mark. Like a big ole "?"

 

[Level 7 Dragon]

A lightbulb flickering. If outside, a five second eclipse.

 

[FalloutJack]

But in all seriousness...

"I am The Master, and you will obey men."

 

[Evil Moo]

I'd change my name to a small black cat, just because I don't get to interact with cats enough in my life and I could do with the excuse.

 

[The Rogue Wolf]

So nobody else is gonna say it? Okay....

"Literally Anything".

 

[MysticSlayer]

All I'm going to say is that my initials will spell out SSH. I'm too much of a nerd to not take the opportunity afforded by the last name I don't want to change.

 

[MeatMachine]

I knew a kid in elementary school whose name was Tyler Wayne I.T. (he had a double last name, and I won't mention them here). His initials spelled out T.W.A.-T.

He spoke about changing his first name to Sam a few times. "SWAT would be a super awesome acronym, don't you think?"