If you had to invest a trillion dollars

[EightGaugeHippo]

Can I have theses one trillion dollars as one trillion pounds instead?

Since the British trillion is "1,000,000,000,000,000,000", rather than "1,000,000,000,000"

I'd slowly trickle all the money to every worthy charity in the world.
Once I've divided a few million pounds to all those charities. The rest I would use to buy the Vatican, and become pope.
Tell the "people not to bow to me, to live their own lives, god put you here to live, not to be told, go forth." Like a boss.
Next step, sell the Vatican for 10 billion, to any company that wants to turn it into a theme park.
Retire on my new playboy mars mansion.

Now that I've freed the planet of the chains of misguided faith, saved countless of endangered species and possibly funded the cure for cancer, I will go down in history as the greatest ************ who ever lived.

 

[Stu35]

I'd make the sport of Rugby League the dominant sport on earth.

Current Capitalist trends have led to Football being the dominant world sport (except in America, where it's American Football).

I'd invest heavily in grass-roots player development, start bribing schools across the world to cut all non-Rugby League sports programmes, invest in getting children across the world excited about the game.

Then come the professional leagues.

Then come the TV contracts.

Then comes the endless profit.

Then comes the greedy players and agents destroying the profit.

Then come the Middle Eastern oil Sheiks buying up clubs as fashion accessories...


In fact. Fuck it. Changed my mind. I'd invest in Space Exploration.

 

[Realitycrash]

I would say "Death Star", but it turns out that a trillion dollars isn't nearly enough.

Yes, that is a real response. I'd link you the page, but it's down right now due to government being unable to agree on a budget.
It's small moments like this that brings a smile to my face.

 

[Hoplon]

Get my ass to mars! /quaid (a trillion could totally do that too) and maybe some billions for fusion power.

 

[Tom Artingstall]

Get my ass to mars! /quaid (a trillion could totally do that too) and maybe some billions for fusion power.

Pretty much this. I'd throw the lot of it at NASA or the ESA or someone similar. But I'd set it up as a trust fund, paid at regular intervals on the condition that they focus on three targets:

- Permanent manned presence on the Moon.
- Manned missions to Mars.
- Civilian applications for space program technology.

If they drop the ball, the money gets cut off and whatever's left goes to whichever space agency is willing to give it a try. Beyond that, as long as they stick to those three targets, there is zero oversight on how they spend the money. If they've got a stupid idea like surfing on nuclear bombs to achieve interstellar speed, you bet your ass they can blow 30 billion on it.

 

[Daveman]

Fusion, superconductor and recycling technologies. Then I'd buy all the patents and make them free for anyone to use. Planet would get sorted right out.

If there's any more I guess I'd invest in Genetics research, both for health and genetic modification.

 

[Thaluikhain]

A country's GDP may be in the trillions but only a small percentage of that money actually goes into scientific research, for example. A big sum of money equivalent to a decade's worth of what they would've got would make a big difference.

Certainly, but not nearly enough to talk about terraforming, colonising other planets, or building teleporters.

 

[tippy2k2]

snip

I would probably invest into space colonisation, teleportation is a bit too far away for us and there are some issues with (the metaphysics of) it:

That's for the eggheads to figure out! That's why I just gave them a trillion dollars. I just want a convenient way to skip my thirty minute commute damn it!!! >.<

If a soul does exist, they'd just teleport the soul too, problem solved I just saved my researchers a bunch of money that they can use to figure out how to teleport cancer or something out of you once they teleport you away. I'm practically a hero!

 

[BlazeRaider]

I'd invest it into the environment and agriculture. I heard tree sapling can be planted at a rate of about 10 cents per tree, even a few billion of that trillion could plant massive future forests, that would not only act as a major carbon sink but also increase wildlife, maintain soil, and provide future generations with timber. There are lots of places that could be greatly improves by simply adding things like wells, or providing tools to improve productivity for farming. I'd also invest in sustainable forms of technology, like this:
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/exclusive-pioneering-scientists-turn-fresh-air-into-petrol-in-massive-boost-in-fight-against-energy-crisis-8217382.html

if this tech is true, and improved upon, we could end up with an indefinite source of essentially zero emission fuel if the energy used in extracting are things like wind or solar. We'd essentially be able to store renewable energy in the very covnenient form of fossil fuels.

 

[Remus]

700 billion would go to fund various forms of clean energy, in locations all around the world, including underdeveloped nations. The goal of course would be to phase out oil and coal in all its forms, cleaning up the surrounding environment and hopefully postponing the next extinction level event. 300 billion would go to major lobbying firms in attempt to out-lobby big oil and get my various clean energy projects funded well into the future.

 

[Andy Shandy]

I would buy you a monkey....haven't you always wanted a monkey?

Oh wait...a TRILLION dollars, my mistake.

Anyway, I'd invest some of it in buying a gaming company, and let them make games that they want to make (and also ones I would want them to make too)

I'd also put some towards my local football team (Dundee United), and Scottish football in general, ensuring they never have money troubles again, and can bring through the best and brightest.

I'd give big amounts to medical research too, cancer, AIDS, whatever. You name it, if I have enough money left over from the previous two I'll try to help cure it.

Then I'd invest in places and people I like, such as here, and make sure they never have trouble again, and bring more talent here.

Finally, I'd buy Barr so I can have all the Irn-Bru I would ever want. And lobby places like the US government so they can taste sweet perfection.

 

[kommando367]

I'd start a new political party based on moderate political affiliations, limited government, eliminating censorship, and the legalization of blood sports and dueling.

Then I would manipulate the democrats and republicans into joining my party to increase it's power and influence.

After that, I would plan for the advancement of 7-19 other projects depending on how well the first plan worked.

 

[WouldYouKindly]

I'd spend a lot of time buying up patents currently held to stifle clean energy progress. Solar panels, fuel cells, and electric cars can all be more efficient than they currently are. We have the technology, it's just that no one can use it because the companies who own them(typically oil, natural gas, and coal companies) don't want them to get used to a large extent. I would then give those patents to companies who will use them(like the Tesla Roadster guys or any company that makes solar panels).

That should take no more than 100 billion dollars at the worst.

Next, I'll fund public works projects in third world countries, complete with private security forces to keep the workers safe. They'll build an infrastructure on which an actual modern economy can be built in all the places you don't want to go for vacation. After they're done building the schools, pay for the education of the populace for the next 20 or so years.

If I've got anything after that, I'll donate to various medical research labs and fund housing initiatives in first world countries that have a homelessness problem. With that comes mental health funding.

Finally, I really would like to buy an airplane, just one little million dollar purchase for myself.

 

[Trippy Turtle]

I'd probably put it towards proving once and for all that gamepads are every bit as good a mouse and keyboard for FPS games.
Assuming I can't go with that, a virtual reality software that is very very good. Like kids could use it to go to school virtually, it could be a massive life-looking but with badass powers MMO, physiotherapy even?
Think of the thing like from the book Ready Player One.
In fact, I'd spend it all just making that book a reality including giving someone 20 billion dollars to leave behind in his will for whoever solves the massive easter egg hidden in the 'game'.

Seriously, if you haven't read Ready Player One I'd suggest you do so.
In fact screw it, I'm going to go read it again. Damn you OP this whole thread was just a ploy to make me waste my last day of holidays re-reading a book.

 

[EyeReaper]

I would invest it all in myself, and live my life lazily off the cash some alien was too dumb to trust in a human. This would teach the alien a very important thing: don't trust humans, we're lying, cheating, greedy bastards, then, when the species invades earth, ad we fail to shoot them in the back thanks to my warnings, maybe they'll elect me as a Space-Bishop, or Cosmo-Vizier.

 

[Muspelheim]

Getting every human being on Earth access to an acceptable toilet. Thus severely limiting several horrible diseases and making people's lives slightly better. Dreadful diseases that comes from poop in food or water stockpiles is one of those things that we could do without, as a species.

For a more fanciful scenario, I'd buy Monsanto and board-wedgie them until they stop being greedy, exploitative swines. Or buy the IMF and burn it to the ground, on the same principle. Perhaps changing their symbol to a tapeworm.