If you met God

[War Penguin]

"Is it possible that you can make a burrito so hot that you yourself can't eat it?"

 

[Cherry Cola]

I'd say "Hey, who put this mirror in front of me?"

That's right. I am God.

Does that mean if I catch you you will grant me three wishes?! *lays Hubilub traps*
I'd then proceed to ask you why you have such blindingly blonde hair.

I have it because I am so divine.

If you're going to ask if the carpet matches the drapes, I'm going to have to ask you to bring a shit ton of ladies before I unzip my pants.

 

[tzimize]

I'd ask him why.

Because.

I would ask for superpowers

Because is not a good enough/an answer! >:|

Asking him me why is not really a question.

HA!

Well only gramatically, it lacks a question mark, and besides god would know anyway, and I dont think god would be a grammar nazi :>

Questions need to have a point. Simply asking someone why is a valid enough question as because is a valid enough answer.

Not really. As I said, god would know why "what" and the "what" would be "everything", because is not sufficient to answer that. Or anything. Unless the question is: How do you spell "because"? or something like that.

But that is drawing the conclusion that you would be able to comprehend the answer. If God certainly was real, then the saying that trying to explain how God acts is like trying to explain to an ant how a TV works would apply, therefore he would know that even trying to answer that question in a way that you would understand would be impossible, and therefore the answer "Because" is as good as you're ever going to understand why.

If god is omnipotent I am sure he is powerful enough to either
1: Be smart enough to explain it to me in an understandable way or
2: Make me smart enough to understand it

Then God would have to make you Omniscient, and I seriously doubt he would let one simple man become Omniscient, if even for a second.

I find that just as likely as me being allowed to meet him and ask him a question. Its a "what if" thread after all.

Alright, so let's say that God makes you omniscient so that you can comprehend his answer.

Now he just says "because", because you already know the answer.

Thats different than just because so I'd accept that as a decent answer/deed.

Man I wish I was omniscient.

 

[CoverYourHead]

How many wishes do I get?

Am I a bad person for not going to church?

About all that pornography...

How tasty was the tree of life's apple?

 

[Cherry Cola]

I'd ask him why.

Because.

I would ask for superpowers

Because is not a good enough/an answer! >:|

Asking him me why is not really a question.

HA!

Well only gramatically, it lacks a question mark, and besides god would know anyway, and I dont think god would be a grammar nazi :>

Questions need to have a point. Simply asking someone why is a valid enough question as because is a valid enough answer.

Not really. As I said, god would know why "what" and the "what" would be "everything", because is not sufficient to answer that. Or anything. Unless the question is: How do you spell "because"? or something like that.

But that is drawing the conclusion that you would be able to comprehend the answer. If God certainly was real, then the saying that trying to explain how God acts is like trying to explain to an ant how a TV works would apply, therefore he would know that even trying to answer that question in a way that you would understand would be impossible, and therefore the answer "Because" is as good as you're ever going to understand why.

If god is omnipotent I am sure he is powerful enough to either
1: Be smart enough to explain it to me in an understandable way or
2: Make me smart enough to understand it

Then God would have to make you Omniscient, and I seriously doubt he would let one simple man become Omniscient, if even for a second.

I find that just as likely as me being allowed to meet him and ask him a question. Its a "what if" thread after all.

Alright, so let's say that God makes you omniscient so that you can comprehend his answer.

Now he just says "because", because you already know the answer.

Thats different than just because so I'd accept that as a decent answer/deed.

Man I wish I was omniscient.

Ugh, I don't.

You really want to know how every single bowel movement looks, smells, and tastes?

Be my guest.

 

[Marter]

I would ask why he puts people through such incredible pain.

 

[The Lost Big Boss]

"I think I saw you on a bus a couple days back!"

 

[superbatranger]

I'd probably tell him, "For being such a powerful deity of a major religion, you sure are one shy fellow."

 

[JokerCrowe]

I'd be like: "sit down, we need to talk"
me: Ok God, why is there so much shit in the world?
God: it's all a part of my devine plan... things will work out.
me: that's not really an answer.
God: I know...
me: ok, but how do you explain Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot, Franco, Mao, the slaughters in Rwanda, earth quakes, the Indonesian/Thailand tsunami...
God: devine...
me: let me fininsh! Where was I? oh right! the Estonia, Titanic, Tjernobyl and just now, the earth quakes in Haiti, Chile, and China?
God: Devine plan. It'll work out for the best.
me: you really don't like or think much of us humans do you?
God: I promise, things will work out for the best.
me: Well how do you explain the existence of the Transformer movies, Twilight series, 4chan, encyclopedia dramaitca, thatsnotsexy.com and scientology? Is that a part of your plan too?
God: well, I kind of dropped the ball on that Twilight thing didn't I?
me: yeah. It was good talking to you God. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to wake up now and remember that you don't exist. Have a good'n!
God: you too!
[sub][sub]Yes, almost all of that was to convey how much I (and the rest of the world) hate Twilight[/sub][/sub]

 

[CZS PublicEnemy]

I'd ask which religions' God he was then say, "Cool" and go about my day.

"So uhh which one was it?" "None of them." lmao

 

[Perticular Elk]

I would think I am having some sort of fever dream, as I am atheist. I would therefore slap myself until I woke up.

And it's Cerebral Oedema.

Really? you may be an athiest but that doesn't mean you have to spoil the spirit of the thread.

 

[ottenni]

"Holy shit, your a teapot"

If that where true, so many people would eat their own hats.

 

[Adam the Smith]

I would tell him to go fuck himself

 

[Gebi10000]

I simply talk to him calmly (after the first initial shock of course). and ask him about his motivations

 

[epikAXE]

God isn't real, so this whole thread becomes Nullified

Edit: Sweet! 111 posts

 

[Wildrow12]

I probably thank him for the world, the universe and for pulling my ass out of trouble so many times.

 

[ctrl]

id kick him in his holy balls for being such a prick to everyone and then get smited

 

[TheTaco007]

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

 

[Tharwen]

"You can't logically exist! What are you doing in this universe?"