If you were a serial killer....

[Iron Criterion]

I was just watching Dexter, and I was wondering if I were a serial killer what my name would be and how I would kill my victims. Personally I would be the ginger fury as I would beat my victims to death with a packet of ginger biscuits, any one else like to share their ideas?

P.S This is my first thread so please don't rip me too badly lol

 

[Onyx Oblivion]

My idea was done years ago...The Zodiac.

 

[Henzi]

I'd be the Cereal Killer. My victims would be found entirely filled with breakfast cereal.

 

[TheTygerfire]

P.S This is my first thread so please don't rip me too badly lol

Damn, there goes my answer...

 

[CosmicGrenade]

Well... I would use sharped ping pong paddles and be called the Paddler

 

[CosmicGrenade]

I'd be the Cereal Killer. My victims would be found entirely filled with breakfast cereal.

abit like Snap Crack.... BOOM

 

[Washboard]

i'd be the balamory....i'd make people watch innane childrens programming (balamory patiqulary) until they killed themselves

 

[Lord George]

I would call myself the puppeteer.

I would stalk my victims for a few days before hand, then knock them out somewhere were their alone and its quiet, then I'd slowly torture them for a while, cutting out their eyes and skinning their flesh from them, burning them in painful places. Fun things like that, then i'd make them beg me for death before slicing their torso open and removing the organs from least needed up to most needed so I could keep them alive for as long as possible. Then I'd string up their corpse like a puppet along with the organs which would be positioned around them with faces drawn on them.

 

[Sparrow]

My serial killer name would be... gonorrhea. Why? Because all the cops would be saying "Oh noes! He's struck again! We've all got to catch gonorrhea together boys!"

I wouldn't kill through STD's though. Thats just mean. I'd gauge their eyes out with a spoon instead.

 

[CosmicGrenade]

i'd be the balamory....i'd make people watch innane childrens programming (balamory patiqulary) until they killed themselves

omg man thats evil!! PURE EVIL

 

[Frequen-Z]

I'd get the torso of 1 person, the head of another, and about 20 different left arms, sow them all together to make a headed torso with 20 left arms to confuse law enforcement, burn the rest of the 22 bodies. Rinse and repeat.

 

[Davey Woo]

I would call myself the puppeteer.

I would stalk my victims for a few days before hand, then knock them out somewhere were their alone and its quiet, then I'd slowly torture them for a while, cutting out their eyes and skinning their flesh from them, burning them in painful places. Fun things like that, then i'd make them beg me for death before slicing their torso open and removing the organs from least needed up to most needed so I could keep them alive for as long as possible. Then I'd string up their corpse like a puppet along with the organs which would be positioned around them with faces drawn on them.

That's disturbingly gruesome but also very imaginative =/

I don't know what I'd be, but my friend has an idea that when I'm ruler of the World (he thinks I'll end up ruling the world one day) he's going to assassinate me by jumping out of a plane at 30,000 feet in a suit covered in blades, then land on me.

 

[goatzilla8463]

i would be Teh goat. i would capture people and leat my army of goats slowly annoy them to death.

 

[Acaroid]

Oh I got a band and we wrote a song about this, we called it "blue rinse vagina smash"

It is about this guy who works ina pharamsy, and any old lady who comes in buying, or has a blue rinse. he gets the records from the pharamist and finds out where they live. goes in and smashes thier vaginas in with a sledgehammer...

I came up with the diea just laying in bed...first it was a movie idea...then i thought it could be a good sond XD

 

[CosmicGrenade]

I would call myself the puppeteer.

I would stalk my victims for a few days before hand, then knock them out somewhere were their alone and its quiet, then I'd slowly torture them for a while, cutting out their eyes and skinning their flesh from them, burning them in painful places. Fun things like that, then i'd make them beg me for death before slicing their torso open and removing the organs from least needed up to most needed so I could keep them alive for as long as possible. Then I'd string up their corpse like a puppet along with the organs which would be positioned around them with faces drawn on them.

That's disturbingly gruesome but also very imaginative =/

I don't know what I'd be, but my friend has an idea that when I'm ruler of the World (he thinks I'll end up ruling the world one day) he's going to assassinate me by jumping out of a plane at 30,000 feet in a suit covered in blades, then land on me.

He hasn't really thought that through has he.....

 

[Iron Criterion]

Thanks to all for posting XD

I would call myself the puppeteer.

I would stalk my victims for a few days before hand, then knock them out somewhere were their alone and its quiet, then I'd slowly torture them for a while, cutting out their eyes and skinning their flesh from them, burning them in painful places. Fun things like that, then i'd make them beg me for death before slicing their torso open and removing the organs from least needed up to most needed so I could keep them alive for as long as possible. Then I'd string up their corpse like a puppet along with the organs which would be positioned around them with faces drawn on them.

Ermmmm have all the prostitutes in the town were you live gone missing? Lol just kidding very imaginative though

Oh I got a band and we wrote a song about this, we called it "blue rinse vagina smash"

It is about this guy who works ina pharamsy, and any old lady who comes in buying, or has a blue rinse. he gets the records from the pharamist and finds out where they live. goes in and smashes thier vaginas in with a sledgehammer...

I came up with the diea just laying in bed...first it was a movie idea...then i thought it could be a good sond XD

Nice! Whats your band called?

i'd be the balamory....i'd make people watch innane childrens programming (balamory patiqulary) until they killed themselves

I may have the bodies of prostitutes, Chavs and the homeless filling my basement but you sir are pure evil, lol

P.S This is my first thread so please don't rip me too badly lol

Damn, there goes my answer...

Wait are you the infamous killer who kills those who creates their first thread on the escapist lol

 

[Abedeus]

I would just beat the shit out of my victims and dissolve them in a bathtub full of NaOH. I'm not a natural born serial killer, but I often feel like beating the shit out of someone.

That's pretty normal. You just have to shut out those voices and they will leave you. Oh, cra-

LALALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU ALALALLALA

Okay, they're gone. What were we talking about?

OH GOD NO THE CHICKEN IS BACK, HE'S SPYING ON ME AGAIN!!

 

[DeleteMe1112311]

Well, first things first you have to decide where to hide the body and how to dispose of it.

I would force them to drink bleach (a safer form) then ammonia and, before the chemicals had the time to react to each other, I would put them into an air tight small chamber and put them in wet cement. Once the cement hardened, drill a hole into the chamber then pour an acid into the chamber that would react to the mixture of ammonia and bleach and the chlorine that the mixture of the two would produce. This would strengthen the acid and completely dissolve the body.

Not the perfect plan as I don't know all the names of the compounds and an airtight chamber runs the risk of explosive chemicals, but since I don't plan on killing anyone, its not something I'm going to put thought into to perfect.

I won't get any more graphic than that but it is really amazing the things you come up with for hiding a body...

 

[Abedeus]

Well, first things first you have to decide where to hide the body and how to dispose of it.

I would force them to drink bleach (a safer form) then ammonia and, before the chemicals had the time to react to each other, I would put them into an air tight small chamber and put them in wet cement. Once the cement hardened, drill a hole into the chamber then pour an acid into the chamber that would react to the mixture of ammonia and bleach and the chlorine that the mixture of the two would produce. This would strengthen the acid and completely dissolve the body.

Not the perfect plan as I don't know all the names of the compounds and an airtight chamber runs the risk of explosive chemicals, but since I don't plan on killing anyone, its not something I'm going to put thought into to perfect.

I won't get any more graphic than that but it is really amazing the things you come up with for hiding a body...

Wouldn't just cementing the body then throwing into an ocean be easier?

 

[Agayek]

I wouldn't have a nickname, because they wouldn't know there was anything related to the killings. I'd set up each victim for unique and interesting deaths based on their own daily lives. Things like falling down a flight of stairs, a brick in the ceiling coming loose and braining them, etc etc.

Edit: On a quasi-related note, I can't watch Dexter because the main character reminds me too much of myself (sans the homicidal urges).