If your sneeze was a firearm.

[Lazy Kitty]

Like a KAR98K in Call of Duty 2...

 

[silver wolf009]

I'd say a nine millimeter.

I'm pretty sure my father's sneeze would be some horrible modification of a flamethrower that launches raw sewage, because for some reason he has a reflex where he always sneezes the word "SHIT!"

 

[Moonlight Butterfly]

A Derringer Pearl Handle becuase I have small lady like sneezes.

I'm pretty sure my late dad used to say 'RAICHU' when he sneezed. So his would have been a large electric pokemon

 

[teebeeohh]

silenced .45
i sneeze very quietly.

 

[Trippy Turtle]

Mine is like a sniper. Fairly long charge up sudden release and very accurate.

 

[Random berk]

Crossbow, because I usually cover it up, making it very quiet, but it still feels like my eyes are going to explode out of my head.

 

[nuba km]

hammer of dawn, there are about 20 seconds of me leading up to a sneeze and then I sneeze (which ones time cause my exercise book to actually move across the table only about 2mm but still).

 

[ShindoL Shill]

high powered rifle definitely. or some form of shotgun... my sneezes are massive and have a few seconds between each one. also they either cross rooms or have massive spread.

lets just say if you put your hand over my mouth to stop me sneezing, i would blow your hand off my face. last time i held one in, it felt like it was trying to snap my neck for revenge.

 

[Togs]

Big ole sniper rifle.

And if this was actually true hay fever would take on a whole new meaning

 

[Agarth]

Mine would be like one of those ancient muskets from way back when. You know what I mean. Those ones that could only load one shot, and after firing you have to clean it before you can load it. It's because I barely ever sneeze and when I do I never hit anyone with it.

 

[Je Suis Ubermonkey]

A handheld USW.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sonic_weapon

Seriously, I go for pitch. The volume just comes naturally, but a good pitch makes it piercing.

 

[SilentCom]

I don't know... shotgun because it spreads out?

 

[Sir Seagull]

The X-gun from Gantz I think. Often I'll interrupt someone who's talking to me and then nothing will happen but then-
CARNAGE!!!

 

[Timberwolf0924]

a blackpowder .50 cal rifle. cause I sneeze one big time and stick my finger in there to stop the rest..

 

[FolkLikePanda]

Shotgun, sometimes when i sneeze its really loud and if I have a bad cold it spreads all over the top of my sleeve if I don't have a tissue.

 

[nokori3byo]

Oh Christ, a Nebelwerfer maybe. I once bruised a rib from a so called "hard sneeze." I'm not making this up.

 

[KimonoBoxFox]

A silenced SMG, akin to the one available in L4D2. Fired off in bursts, sounding like little more than stifled coughs. Perfect for... well, who the fuck needs to silently assassinate zombies, anyway?! What is this, Hitman?

 

[pspman45]

a two-shot burst assault Rifle
for some reason I can never sneeze once, its always, ALWAYS twice

 

[Retal19]

A .44 Magnum Revolver that jams/fires backwards. My sneezes sort of backfire. All the time. I have to brace myself for them and my entire body seizes up just before I sneeze, but then I do sneeze and there's almost no sound and I'm left gagging as all the gunk meant to fly out of my nose and mouth goes back down the other way and gets stuck in my lungs and throat. It's absolutely horrible.

 

[tehbeard]

A Blunderbuss. Loud and wide area of effect.