Illogical things proved logically?

[darkfire613]

Have you ever been talking with a friend, enemy, or whatever, and come up with something completely illogical, that still somehow made sense? I love little things like these, and I'm sure others do to, so please share! Here's mine that I came up with yesterday:

Okay, so you know how people theorize time is the fourth dimension? Well, keep that thought, and ponder this: a cube sitting in front of you has three dimensions: length, width, and depth. However, you cannot see all the sides of the cube at one time, you can only see what's facing you, just as you can only see the present time. But using a mirror, you can see both the front and back of the cube. So, all we need to do is build a time mirror, and we can see the future!

Okay, your turns.

 

[Freechoice]

I find that whenever I try to seriously debate someone on something, (especially my sister) I usually don't do very well if I try to be smart about it. The answer? Troll logic.

It works more than you would think.

 

[Realitycrash]

Unless you use very advanced math, that can be tweaked into proving that 1=2, nothing illogical can be proven logically. Doing so would cause a paradox.

 

[The .50 Caliber Cow]

Anything can sound logical if you lie hard enough.

 

[Gennadios]

GIGO = Garbage in, garbage out.

Flawed analogies can give you at best a very limited scope, at worst will just show how little someone understands a given topic.

 

[NeutralDrow]

I'm pretty sure that's how Buddhism works.

...well, okay, that's not so much logically proving illogicality as demonstrating that logic works but is too limited to see all of reality. But still.

 

[RedEyesBlackGamer]

Half of my essays devolve into pure BS that I just come up with. And it nets me B's and A's.

 

[Deskimus Prime]

Troll logic can prove anything! Just say you believe in witches and magic, and anything you want will be yours.

The thing about logic is that it works in a purely abstract mathematical way. Life doesn't conform to those rules, there's too much interference and noise and randomness that gets in the way. Which is why you can use troll logic to, say, prove that Alexander the Great didn't exist and had an infinite number of limbs.

(For those interested, it goes something like this: Alexander was warned that crossing a certain river would spell doom for his army. There is a saying that "to be forewarned is to be forearmed," but four arms is certainly an odd number of limbs for a human. Since the only number that can be odd and even is infinity, Alexander the Great must've had an infinite number of limbs. Bam. Troll logic. I can't remember how to prove he doesn't exist, but it involves proving that all horses are black, and he rode a white horse named Bucephalus, and something about the phrase "that's a horse of a different color.")

 

[Spencer Petersen]

I once accidentally formulated that according to the Bible, Jesus was a pirate. When he split the fish and bread he was copying goods and distributing them for free to an audience, hurting local businesses that were providing the same goods but charging for cash. According to anti-piracy laws, Jesus would be put in jail today.

Or how about this:
1=√1=√(-1)(-1)=√(-1)*√(-1)=i*i=-1

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zeno%27s_paradoxes

Zeno is one of the biggest trolls in the history of philosophy.

Also see 1=2, Winston Churchill is a Carrot, and other silly things.
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/1%3D2

 

[easo prime]

That is not true. Darkfire give a good example of a false conclusion being arrived at through a series of truthful reasonings.
Here is another example:
All lemons are yellow. My shit yellow. Therefore, my shirt is a lemon.

In the my example I was able prove that something illogical, my shirt is a lemon, can in fact be proved logically. No 1=2 formula necessary.

 

[barbzilla]

Unless you use very advanced math, that can be tweaked into proving that 1=2, nothing illogical can be proven logically. Doing so would cause a paradox.

1 is a number
2 is a number
1=2

 

[darkfire613]

Unless you use very advanced math, that can be tweaked into proving that 1=2, nothing illogical can be proven logically. Doing so would cause a paradox.

Fine. Not so much "proven" as, well, "proven." in that, as easo prime said above, a series of steps that seems logical leads to a conclusion that is false. I'll often use this style of argument with friends for the sake of humor.

 

[Miles000]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zeno%27s_paradoxes

Zeno is one of the biggest trolls in the history of philosophy.

Also see 1=2, Winston Churchill is a Carrot, and other silly things.
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/1%3D2

I don't get that turtle one. Is it like when you cross half of a street, then walk half the remaining distance, and continue that you will never actually cross?

Give me a turtle and I'll prove him wrong.

Edit: I meant tortoise.

 

[PimpHandofGod]

Air is 70% nitrogen therefore we survive on nitrogen and not oxygen.

 

[ecyor0]

In the words of a certain 900 year old time lord:

"Logic merely allows one to be wrong with authority"

 

[thedoclc]

That is not true. Darkfire give a good example of a false conclusion being arrived at through a series of truthful reasonings.
Here is another example:
All lemons are yellow. My shit yellow. Therefore, my shirt is a lemon.

In the my example I was able prove that something illogical, my shirt is a lemon, can in fact be proved logically. No 1=2 formula necessary.

No.

You've used the classic Undistributed middle, discussed here: http://www.fallacyfiles.org/undismid.html

Ok, this comment is going to get lost in a sea of "troll logic, hurrr!" comments, but let's try breaking it down.

Logic is a means to derive statements based on certain premises. If your premises are not true, whatever conclusions you derive are suspect, but not necessarily false. Likewise, the logic can be valid or invalid. For an argument to be sound, the premises must be true and the logic valid with no equivocation. If this is the case, then the conclusion is inescapable. Examples below:

Spoiler: Logic 101

P: All dogs are mortal. (True premise)
P: Socrates is a dog. (False premise)
C: Therefore Socrates is mortal. (True conclusion, valid logic, unsound argument)

P: All dogs are canines. (True premise)
P: Socrates is a dog. (False premise)
C: Therefore Socrates is a canine. (False conclusion, valid logic, unsound argument)

P: All men are immortal. (False premise)
P: Socrates is not a man. (False premise)
C: Therefore Socrates is mortal. (True conclusion, invalid logic, unsound argument)

P: All men are mortal. (True premise)
P: Socrates is a man. (True premise)
C: Therefore Socrates is mortal. (True conclusion, valid logic, sound argument)

In the third example, the error in logic is obvious. If all men were immortal, that would not also mean all immortals are men. Notice you can do logic correctly and still get a false conclusion; garbage in, garbage out (example 2). If logic is done correctly, it winds up shortening the statements down to, "If the premises are true, then the conclusion is true." As examples, 1, 2, and 4 all follow valid logic, notice how when the premises are both true, the conclusion is true.

Additionally, the statement IF A, THEN B does not let you draw B, THEREFORE A.

All of these mistakes have proper, formal names; I'll let your professors introduce you to them.

Short version for those who squeal TLR!

Please learn what logic is before you go, "Hurrrr, logic!"

 

[Dimitriov]

That is not true. Darkfire give a good example of a false conclusion being arrived at through a series of truthful reasonings.
Here is another example:
All lemons are yellow. My shit yellow. Therefore, my shirt is a lemon.

In the my example I was able prove that something illogical, my shirt is a lemon, can in fact be proved logically. No 1=2 formula necessary.

... that is not an example of logic.

 

[Dana22]

Quantum Mechanics, to some degree. But mostly by Math.

 

[therockdemon]

if i remember a theory i read a while ago then scienctist have said that time TRAVEL is next to impossible but viewing the future (or the past as setting when and where you want to look at is also next to impossible)is not only possible but might happen in the not to distant future