I'm alone and hate the world

[knight steel]

Title says it all really.

No I don't know why I'm posting this, maybe just want to be coddled.
Don't like this kind of thread,leave there's the door you don't have to contribute just let this thread die if you hate it.

Sick of advice that revolve around get confidence/fake it, go out and meet people, just stop caring/they'l come to you.

Why I hate this advice: If it was that easy I wouldn't have this problem in the first place, if all it required was pretending to be confident going out no one would have this problem but they do because this only work if you have something that I don't.

I can't stop caring and acting desperate no matter how hard I bury these emotion,ignore them/destroy them because they keep coming back every time I'm reminded of my loneliness.

Leading to depression/hatred of others as I blame them for not coming to me-for not getting me out of this even though I know it's not their job.

19 years and still so empty finding it hard to hold it together and I feel like I'm coming undone.

 

[Vault101]

snip.

ok first of all you probably need ot get help..mabye not professional but talk to somone

second...I'm not one to give advice and I can;t help with whatever problems you may be facing...confidence or otherwise,but there was one peice of advice that I always liked

we live in a world full of people who want/need things, what can you give to others? and not something related to what you ARE but something related to what you can DO

 

[knight steel]

snip.

ok first of all you probably need ot get help..mabye not professional but talk to somone

second...I'm not one to give advice and I can;t help with whatever problems you may be facing...confidence or otherwise,but there was one peice of advice that I always liked

we live in a world full of people who want/need things, what can you give to others? and not something related to what you ARE but something related to what you can DO

Thanks for the advice/support, don't worry I'm feeling better-you see due to a chemical imbalance in my brain I go through mood swings ranging hyper depressive/serve panic attacks/giggling maniac- I've taken my medicine and so my moods flat lined and now I'm just meh.
Normally I take my meds sooner and so this doesn't happen and normally I'm ok most of the time, just occasionally stuff like this blind sides me and I end up writing stupid stuff like this >_<.

 

[Vegosiux]

I used to hate the world. But then I realized that it'd be rather inconvenient if it was gone, if only because that's where I keep all my stuff.

I won't tell you to "be confident and fake it".

I'll tell you to just go out there and do whatever the hell you want to do (as long as it's legal and not harming others). Go for a walk. Get to a library, read a good book. Go see a movie. Grab a drink at the local watering hole. Learn to enjoy the company of yourself.

We are all alone at some point in our lives, and knowing how to enjoy our own company is important. You don't learn that by trying to force yourself out of loneliness.

 

[knight steel]

I used to hate the world. But then I realized that it'd be rather inconvenient if it was gone, if only because that's where I keep all my stuff.

I won't tell you to "be confident and fake it".

I'll tell you to just go out there and do whatever the hell you want to do (as long as it's legal and not harming others). Go for a walk. Get to a library, read a good book. Go see a movie. Grab a drink at the local watering hole. Learn to enjoy the company of yourself.

We are all alone at some point in our lives, and knowing how to enjoy our own company is important. You don't learn that by trying to force yourself out of loneliness.

How do you enjoy your own company?

 

[Thaluikhain]

19 years and still so empty finding it hard to hold it together and I feel like I'm coming undone.

That is hardly unusual at 19 years of age. An awful lot of people feel like that at that time, but get over it.

Now, I'm not saying you'll hit 20, 21 or whatever and "ding" everything is better, it's long and hard, but for a great many people, "it gets better".

 

[knight steel]

19 years and still so empty finding it hard to hold it together and I feel like I'm coming undone.

That is hardly unusual at 19 years of age. An awful lot of people feel like that at that time, but get over it.

Now, I'm not saying you'll hit 20, 21 or whatever and "ding" everything is better, it's long and hard, but for a great many people, "it gets better".

I hope that is the case and thing do get better.

 

[Vegosiux]

How do you enjoy your own company?

It's not easy. But once you come to terms with that you are who you are and stop obsessing about things you feel you should be doing because the society dictates them it gets better. Basically it's a toss up between what you want to be doing and what you think others think you should be doing. And when it comes to what you want to be doing, do you want to be doing it because you want to be doing it, or because you feel others will look more favorably at you if you're doing it.

Right I managed to make a Gordian knot out of this now. But thing is, the most important consideration for you should be what you want to do, without the "but how will I look to others if I do this" doubt.

Maybe start with just who do you want to be around, why do you want to be around them? Because, let me put it this way. "Just anyone" isn't going to do you any favors as company.

Example from my life, when I started uni, in one of the longer breaks, I waved a deck of cards around, and just asked if anyone wants to play a few games, and that's how I got my regular company there.

Still, the main question here would be, what do you actually want other people to bring into your life?

 

[latiasracer]

Never had serious depression before, but niether do i have any confidence in anything i do and i am hardly a socialite.

Although, i can say i do like to do things in solitude. I notice earlier you asked "How do you enjoy your own company", go out and do things. I'm not talking like clubbing or stuff, but get out and see the world, This planet is a beautiful place and theres tonns of epic crap to see and do. Doesn't even have to be in the Alps or the far outer reaches of mongolia, just walk through a local wood or parkland, and appreciate how awesome nature is.

From personal experience i can tell you this. If you find it hard alone, Invest in a pet. Ideally a dog, they are more like companions than pets (Cats are not good choice, Because 9/10 they are not with you and just doing their own thing). Not to say give up on finding other people, but it can help you pass the time. Only downside is you caaan get funny looks in public places when talking to your dog. Not that thats ever happened to me of course...

 

[knight steel]

Never had serious depression before, but niether do i have any confidence in anything i do and i am hardly a socialite.

Although, i can say i do like to do things in solitude. I notice earlier you asked "How do you enjoy your own company", go out and do things. I'm not talking like clubbing or stuff, but get out and see the world, This planet is a beautiful place and theres tonns of epic crap to see and do. Doesn't even have to be in the Alps or the far outer reaches of mongolia, just walk through a local wood or parkland, and appreciate how awesome nature is.

From personal experience i can tell you this. If you find it hard alone, Invest in a pet. Ideally a dog, they are more like companions than pets (Cats are not good choice, Because 9/10 they are not with you and just doing their own thing). Not to say give up on finding other people, but it can help you pass the time. Only downside is you caaan get funny looks in public places when talking to your dog. Not that thats ever happened to me of course...

How do you enjoy your own company?

It's not easy. But once you come to terms with that you are who you are and stop obsessing about things you feel you should be doing because the society dictates them it gets better. Basically it's a toss up between what you want to be doing and what you think others think you should be doing. And when it comes to what you want to be doing, do you want to be doing it because you want to be doing it, or because you feel others will look more favorably at you if you're doing it.

Right I managed to make a Gordian knot out of this now. But thing is, the most important consideration for you should be what you want to do, without the "but how will I look to others if I do this" doubt.

Maybe start with just who do you want to be around, why do you want to be around them? Because, let me put it this way. "Just anyone" isn't going to do you any favors as company.

Example from my life, when I started uni, in one of the longer breaks, I waved a deck of cards around, and just asked if anyone wants to play a few games, and that's how I got my regular company there.

Still, the main question here would be, what do you actually want other people to bring into your life?

I try to do things that I enjoy by myself, without thinking about what society wants or expects or what other people do, like walk to the local park/library/my fav cafe and while it works temporary after a while it begin's to get to me no matter how hard I try to shut it out.

Even though I don't care about what people think about what I'm doing, the things I do start to lose meaning/stop being fun without someone to share them with and this make it almost impossible for me to enjoy my own company.

I just want to be around someone who likes me and wants to share/spend time doing the stuff I like together with me [preferably someone of the opposite gender-due to spending all my life in all boy's schools]. I'v tried having different pets at different point in my life [a bird,crab,and fish] but they are not enough and they all end up dying.

 

[Seydaman]

Try a therapist, there's lots of people to talk to, friends, family, people on the Internet. I find just talking about stuff helps, maybe try journaling and posting it online? Deviantart, a blog, something like that,

 

[Angie7F]

For me 19 was when i hated the world the most.
Things got better after I got a dog. Pets are great...

 

[knight steel]

Try a therapist, there's lots of people to talk to, friends, family, people on the Internet. I find just talking about stuff helps, maybe try journaling and posting it online? Deviantart, a blog, something like that,

Tried a therapist didn't help in the end she simply referred me to a doctor and the meds the doc has given me has helped alot [see the third post] it's to expensive to try another therapist- I talk to my family and that helps me a bit but not enough, as for journaling and posting it online that's what this thread is for.

 

[Xarathox]

I used to hate the world. But then I realized that it'd be rather inconvenient if it was gone, if only because that's where I keep all my stuff.

I won't tell you to "be confident and fake it".

I'll tell you to just go out there and do whatever the hell you want to do (as long as it's legal and not harming others). Go for a walk. Get to a library, read a good book. Go see a movie. Grab a drink at the local watering hole. Learn to enjoy the company of yourself.

We are all alone at some point in our lives, and knowing how to enjoy our own company is important. You don't learn that by trying to force yourself out of loneliness.

How do you enjoy your own company?

The easiest way is to just do something you enjoy. For me, I like being outdoors (when it's warm, fuck if I'll be outside during winter) and since where I live it's quite rural, I'll often times just go walking through the forest when I'm felling "bleh" watching nature being nature-y. Catching glimpses of the local wildlife go about their business is calming, and allows me to see the world in its simplest and most beautiful form, without the interference of people.

 

[knight steel]

I used to hate the world. But then I realized that it'd be rather inconvenient if it was gone, if only because that's where I keep all my stuff.

I won't tell you to "be confident and fake it".

I'll tell you to just go out there and do whatever the hell you want to do (as long as it's legal and not harming others). Go for a walk. Get to a library, read a good book. Go see a movie. Grab a drink at the local watering hole. Learn to enjoy the company of yourself.

We are all alone at some point in our lives, and knowing how to enjoy our own company is important. You don't learn that by trying to force yourself out of loneliness.

How do you enjoy your own company?

The easiest way is to just do something you enjoy. For me, I like being outdoors (when it's warm, fuck if I'll be outside during winter) and since where I live it's quite rural, I'll often times just go walking through the forest when I'm felling "bleh" watching nature being nature-y. Catching glimpses of the local wildlife go about their business is calming, and allows me to see the world in its simplest and most beautiful form, without the interference of people.

I've already covered this see post 10, but in short:I try to do things that I enjoy by myself,like walk to the local park/library/my fav cafe and while it works temporary after a while the things I do start to lose meaning/stop being fun without someone to share them with and this make it almost impossible for me to enjoy my own company.

 

[Zhukov]

we live in a world full of people who want/need things, what can you give to others? and not something related to what you ARE but something related to what you can DO

Hang on a sec, what's that I smell?

Huh.

Unless mine senses doth deceive me, I just caught a strong whiff of Cracked.com.

 

[Mr.Cynic88]

snip

What meds are you on? If they turn you into a zombie the are the wrong meds. It can easily take 6 months to a year trying various combinations of medicine to find the ones that work best for you. What are you taking? What has helped, and what has made things worse?

Being 19 sucks. You just spent two decades as a dependent, and now you have to start facing the world as an adult. One of the first things that adults realize is that the world really sucks because its not like we've imagined it would be as kids.

The best thing that therapists do is walk you through your mental process and point out where your thoughts start twisting things to make them worse than they are. Truly you can do this yourself, or for free on online forums.

One of the first pieces of advice a psychologist gave me is to stop trying to run away from my fears. I'd be all depressed and anxious because of something that I was trying not to think about. I learned to, rather than run away, look at that thing, accept it, and then move on. I call it the "yes, and..." strategy.

"I'm alone and nobody can relate to me." "Yes, and..."

I learned that my fears being realized aren't nearly as bad as how I felt just worrying about them, and sometimes things even turned out good.

Also, and I know you'll hate to hear this, but you should also start acting the way you want to feel. It's hard at first, and you'll just feel like your lying to yourself, and essentially you are, but after a few weeks of doing positive things you can look back and have things to be happy about, rather than being depressed, doing nothing, and then having justification for your continued sadness.

One of the worse things to realize in the transition from child to adult is that there is no supreme authority to can go to for help. There is no one right answer, and you're all on your own. It's scary at first, but if you can start making yourself do good all on your own, you have that much more to be proud of a few months down the road.

Nobody wants to talk to the downer dude who is miserable, but once you start having a smile on your face, you'll find that many more people want you in their life.

 

[Xarathox]

I used to hate the world. But then I realized that it'd be rather inconvenient if it was gone, if only because that's where I keep all my stuff.

I won't tell you to "be confident and fake it".

I'll tell you to just go out there and do whatever the hell you want to do (as long as it's legal and not harming others). Go for a walk. Get to a library, read a good book. Go see a movie. Grab a drink at the local watering hole. Learn to enjoy the company of yourself.

We are all alone at some point in our lives, and knowing how to enjoy our own company is important. You don't learn that by trying to force yourself out of loneliness.

How do you enjoy your own company?

The easiest way is to just do something you enjoy. For me, I like being outdoors (when it's warm, fuck if I'll be outside during winter) and since where I live it's quite rural, I'll often times just go walking through the forest when I'm felling "bleh" watching nature being nature-y. Catching glimpses of the local wildlife go about their business is calming, and allows me to see the world in its simplest and most beautiful form, without the interference of people.

I've already covered this see post 10, but in short:I try to do things that I enjoy by myself,like walk to the local park/library/my fav cafe and while it works temporary after a while the things I do start to lose meaning/stop being fun without someone to share them with and this make it almost impossible for me to enjoy my own company.

Ah, my bad. I didn't finish reading the thread before quoting your earlier question.

I'm not sure if I have the right advice to give, as I'm anti-social most of the time. However, if your need for contact is stripping you of personal enjoyment in solitude... Have you tried looking up local groups for some of your interests? If you're in a moderately sized town, you might find activity groups to join. Even if you're not religious, a church youth group is a good way to find people with similar interests (unless they're fringe interests).

 

[knight steel]

snip

snip

I've been taking these meds since 2008 and have had spent a various amount of time finding the right balance, the meds have helped a huge deal, Before taking them I would have crippling panic attacks were I would wake up and vomit-I would have uncontrollably shaking- I would have acute pain in my chess from the fear and hyperventilating, in extreme cases I would even hallucinate and hear voices [well more like my own thought saying horrible things] I basically couldn't leave the house or talk to anyone, I temporarily dropped out of school and this lasted about a year.

Thanks to the meds I finished school and for most of the day I'm fairly content with a decent amount of happy moments, the down side is I occasionally go through mood swings because of it were I become hyper depressive/giggling maniac which is why I've created this thread. I've tried to stop/cut down on them but it always ends badly so I just take them, I'm to scared to stop as I'm afraid I'll go back to how I was before and as I've said taking them makes me content.

Due to what I've gone through I have very bad social skills and have become extremely dependent on my parent's they help me alot but they can't truly understand what I've been/going through, this large dependence on other people I think is part of my problem but It's taking a real long amount of time to combat it. I've learnt the yes and strategy and it helps but not as much as I would like. Attempts to act the way I want to feel also help but sometimes they are not enough and I snap back to my original feelings which scares/drives people of.

 

[knight steel]

I used to hate the world. But then I realized that it'd be rather inconvenient if it was gone, if only because that's where I keep all my stuff.

I won't tell you to "be confident and fake it".

I'll tell you to just go out there and do whatever the hell you want to do (as long as it's legal and not harming others). Go for a walk. Get to a library, read a good book. Go see a movie. Grab a drink at the local watering hole. Learn to enjoy the company of yourself.

We are all alone at some point in our lives, and knowing how to enjoy our own company is important. You don't learn that by trying to force yourself out of loneliness.

How do you enjoy your own company?

The easiest way is to just do something you enjoy. For me, I like being outdoors (when it's warm, fuck if I'll be outside during winter) and since where I live it's quite rural, I'll often times just go walking through the forest when I'm felling "bleh" watching nature being nature-y. Catching glimpses of the local wildlife go about their business is calming, and allows me to see the world in its simplest and most beautiful form, without the interference of people.

I've already covered this see post 10, but in short:I try to do things that I enjoy by myself,like walk to the local park/library/my fav cafe and while it works temporary after a while the things I do start to lose meaning/stop being fun without someone to share them with and this make it almost impossible for me to enjoy my own company.

Ah, my bad. I didn't finish reading the thread before quoting your earlier question.

I'm not sure if I have the right advice to give, as I'm anti-social most of the time. However, if your need for contact is stripping you of personal enjoyment in solitude... Have you tried looking up local groups for some of your interests? If you're in a moderately sized town, you might find activity groups to join. Even if you're not religious, a church youth group is a good way to find people with similar interests (unless they're fringe interests).

My interest's aren't really covered out in my town area, I'm really into Anime and manga which is not really popular around here so I spend most of my time on the internet.