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alwaysrockon

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Sep 24, 2008
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ok. so i am a young author and i was wondering. how do you get to publish stories?. like has anyone ever published a story to a magazine or ever released a book here?

if you want to read anything mine heres some small stuff.


Blub, blub, blub. Light. He kicked off his shoes. Salt water rushed into his mouth and nose. Air. Dear god air. He started swimming back to the surface. Only two feet to go. Out of air. I need air. His head broke the surface of the ocean. He gasped in for air. He was alive. He was alive.
He spit out water. His eyes burned and his nose felt aflame. He looked around. The boat floated behind him. Only death on the dead boat. He took off his socks and pants. Hell, he would go the distance. He swam back to the boat and climbed on it. He struggled on deck. He threw his cloths on it and grabbed a pair of goggles. The distance. He must go the distance. He put on the goggles and jumped back into the ocean.
The dead boat. What a name. Friends had died on the dead boat. The dead boat was apart of a larger boat. The deader boat. How had it come to this? A gunshot? A flame?
He was there when the life raft changed to the dead boat. A gunshot and a splash. He didn?t tell me he had a gun. His friend just stayed at the edge looking down into the water. His friend raised the gun and fired. A second later he heard the water splash. No more noise. No more whining. Just death. Thus the dead boat was born.
He swam and he swam. He swam for hours. His muscles ached and his eyes dropped. Water sloshed around his head and he kept swimming. He could still swim he was a master. He wouldn?t die crying, or stuttering, or on land. He would go the distance. He breathed and kept swimming.
Water sloshed around his head. The slushing sound burned into his mind for forever. He was a swimmer, he had always swum. He had willpower to die swimming. He had had willpower to win 3 Olympic medals. Stroke after stroke. Kick after kick.
One, two, three, four, ten, fifteen. He held his breath and kept swimming. Swimming was so lonely. He was tired, and hungry, and thirsty. Damn you irony. He was dying of thirst in the ocean. He opened his eyes as he swam and saw nothing below. Just dark murky water. Endlessly shifting. Nothing below the surface, just death.
The water had wanted his friend. The endless unsettling murk had claimed his life. He hadn?t even had the stomach to raise his body. He saw his body spill out and drifted down. The mystic river. The water. Death. Same difference. He closed his eyes and kept swimming.
His fingers were shriveled and wrinkled. His skin was chafed and cut. Salt clung to him and sores were opened on his skin. Yet he kept on swimming. It was for the distance, the distance. How much lay under the murky waters? A million sailors probably. Their bodies lying coolly beneath the murk. Empty eye sockets still grinning at the drowning man.
A million people died in this spot.
I came here and stayed to long.
And the number rose from a million to a million plus one.
What was he? A number? Just one. The waters kept slushing and sloshing. An explosion from the side of his head. He stopped mid-stroke screaming grabbing his ear. Blood ran down his head and floated on the top of the water. His broken ear flared in agony and pain shot across his head. Dead men tall no tales. Ringing in his ear. He stopped and started floating.
The distance. It was all for the distance. He couldn?t continue. His body hurt. His ear had popped and the other was most definitely infected. Only five hours had passed and he, a world renowned swimmer was drowning. Dear god the irony. He put his head in the water and kept plodding on. Half an hour later he noticed it. The light. There was a light shining on the surface. Maybe only half a mile away. The light. Franticly he kicked and swam. He would go the distance.
It was all so wrong. The water. The temperature. Everything. No bleach in the water. Just salt. What kind of ocean was this? No animals or fish. Not even the buzzards circling him. Highlighting his fate. Night had come and lights hadn?t popped up in the water. The water was cold. So cold. No heaters. No crowds. No fans. No timers. But there was the light. God save the light.
He was almost there. No more tricks now. His vision was now nothing more than a blur. His ear hadn?t even stopped bleeding. The light. He was getting closer. 50 yards. 25 yards. Closer and closer. He turned his head to breath and swallowed water. No. please god not so close. His throat burned and he was dying. He inched forwards closer to the light. He reached out with his hands and grabbed a piece of wood. Wood? Why was there wood? He pulled off his goggles and water rushed into his eyes. No. No! NO!
The light was a fire. He was back at the boat. The goddamn boat. His lamp had fallen and lit it on fire. He was gong to die on the death boat after all. He let his goggles slip from his fingers. They slowly receded to the murky waste and disappeared from sight.
He had swum in a circle. A waste of time. A waste of energy. What distance? There was none. He had stopped sweating hours ago. He was hallucinating.
He was beyond the point of no return. He grabbed the side of the boat and held on. Fuck the distance. He slipped off the side and two fingernails came off. The murk wanted him. No. it had a million people. It wouldn?t take one more. He pulled himself on board. He vomited of the side and laughed. He was so thirsty. Nonstop vomiting. He gagged and grabbed his stomach.
The moonlight still shone over the lone survivor with the mercy of light. It slowly lowered into the horizon being chased by the sun. The sun rose into the sky bringing its hateful wrath. Death. The distance.
He lay on the boat raving and muttering and groaning. His eyes were gaunt and it had only been three days. He had to die on the death. All hopes and expectations. Black holes. Revelations. Death. The distance. Light. God. What were they? Just words now. The sun beat down on him mercilessly. He opened his mouth one last time.
I died a million deaths.
And I?ll die a million more.
He died with the tune still stuck in his throat.
The grim reaper stood over him, watching him. All aboard the death boat.


tell me what yall think of it please.
 

implodingMan

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Apr 9, 2008
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First of all, cutting that up into paragraphs would help.

Second of all, this is why I don't like many short stories. They never actually tell you a damn story. Its all hints and allusions and memories of things long past. Needs work. And editing.

My verdict: Ugh. I need a drink.

By the way, do you listen to Muse?
 

NewClassic_v1legacy

Bringer of Words
Jul 30, 2008
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alwaysrockon said:
Tell me what ya'll think of it, please.
To go over the whole thing would take some time, although let me set out my first impressions.

Disorientation. The ground is up. Go forward by walking backward. Right is wrong. And wrong is left.

Choppy.

This piece reads very choppily. Right in the middle of the events, we're picking up on the mind of the disoriented man. Except we can never really plant our feet. Where are we going? Are we coming back? What happened? Should we not know? Friends... Guns... Swimming. Boat on fire? But he had time to find goggles? Go the distance? Olympians... Medalist. Can't die on the water? Give up! No, persist!

It's all so disorienting. Writing should have a certain inviting nature to it. One way to guarantee alienating your reader is to punish them for reading. Being so disorienting and choppy is one great way to do it.

And vague. If you hook me on a story, I don't want the picture to get muddier as I continue to look. I want some clarity near the end, I want the badness to go away. But the calm of death never comes, you're just left with the confusion pre-deat, then at the time of death, where everything should be the most clear... Nothing. I'm still confused as hell.

You killed me in this piece, built up an emotion, and gave the emotion no reasonable catharsis. You killed me, and made me dispell the stress on my own. As a reader, it shouldn't be my initiative to resolve a conflict in a piece, it's your job as a writer.

Ultimately, I left this piece with the impression, "That was unnerving," and the thought, "Well, I'm not reading anything like that again." It was alienating, and uninviting, the most important part of a piece. All I felt from it was punishment for investing the time.

Perhaps that was a little harsh, but I really feel like I did nothing to deserve what I got out of the piece.

Moving on to publishing, there are lots of articles about this, although I've not been published on or offline. Although, there are some very good articles [http://fictionwriting.about.com/od/thebusinessofwriting/ht/publishing.htm] out there for that.

As far as personal experience, none to date. Although if all goes well, it will happen eventually.
 

Burld

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Feb 9, 2008
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I don't have much experience with writing, but one tip I will give is that if you want to read and learn from a good short story, read Raymond Carver and possibly some Chekhov as well.
 

TheGhostOfSin

Terrible, Terrible Damage.
May 21, 2008
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NewClassic said:
There are books available (and very popular ones at that) that are some of the most confusing and uninviting things to come to paper.
 

PedroSteckecilo

Mexican Fugitive
Feb 7, 2008
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I don't want to be mean but... yeah, this kind of reads like sandpaper feels. The excessive use of periods hurt a lot and I don't believe this could rightly be called "prose" in the proper sense. It has little flow and doesn't string together well.

If I have time over my lunch break I'll disect it a little better and hopefully be able to provide some more constructive criticism. Though I would listen to New Classic, he's saavy.

More a personal gripe than anything but that "blub blub blub" REALLY detracts from the seriousness. You want a fight for survival? I got Slapstick... or possibly fish, not sure which exactly.
 

xitel

Assume That I Hate You.
Aug 13, 2008
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Have you heard of National Novel Writing Month? It's a pretty popular event amongst aspiring writers. I don't know the exact details, but I believe the grand prize is a publishing contract. However, most people give up because it requires a minimum of 50,000 words (I think). Just do a google search for it. I'm pretty sure it passed for this year, but it's a yearly thing.
 

Arsen

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Nov 26, 2008
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Begin a story.
Finish it.
Find out what genre your story fits into.
Find a literary agent.
Set your goals.
Have him scout around for possible markets, companies, publishers, etc.

That's the best route.
 

curlycrouton

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Jul 13, 2008
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NewClassic said:
alwaysrockon said:
Tell me what ya'll think of it, please.
To go over the whole thing would take some time, although let me set out my first impressions.

Disorientation. The ground is up. Go forward by walking backward. Right is wrong. And wrong is left.

Choppy.

This piece reads very choppily. Right in the middle of the events, we're picking up on the mind of the disoriented man. Except we can never really plant our feet. Where are we going? Are we coming back? What happened? Should we not know? Friends... Guns... Swimming. Boat on fire? But he had time to find goggles? Go the distance? Olympians... Medalist. Can't die on the water? Give up! No, persist!

It's all so disorienting. Writing should have a certain inviting nature to it. One way to guarantee alienating your reader is to punish them for reading. Being so disorienting and choppy is one great way to do it.

And vague. If you hook me on a story, I don't want the picture to get muddier as I continue to look. I want some clarity near the end, I want the badness to go away. But the calm of death never comes, you're just left with the confusion pre-deat, then at the time of death, where everything should be the most clear... Nothing. I'm still confused as hell.

You killed me in this piece, built up an emotion, and gave the emotion no reasonable catharsis. You killed me, and made me dispell the stress on my own. As a reader, it shouldn't be my initiative to resolve a conflict in a piece, it's your job as a writer.

Ultimately, I left this piece with the impression, "That was unnerving," and the thought, "Well, I'm not reading anything like that again." It was alienating, and uninviting, the most important part of a piece. All I felt from it was punishment for investing the time.

Perhaps that was a little harsh, but I really feel like I did nothing to deserve what I got out of the piece.

Moving on to publishing, there are lots of articles about this, although I've not been published on or offline. Although, there are some very good articles [http://fictionwriting.about.com/od/thebusinessofwriting/ht/publishing.htm] out there for that.

As far as personal experience, none to date. Although if all goes well, it will happen eventually.
Basically, what Mr. Lassic said.

And this:
I think the only punctuation you used there was question marks and full stops.
Punctuation is key.

Also, let me briefly explain something else.
Here is the last five minutes of my life written in your style.

"The kettle. the kettle is on. the water boils.
water. what is it that drives me to like water? I dont know. A bag. a bag of tea. I must put it in this hot water. the heat. the burning heat of the kettle drives me to flinch. flinch at the heat. ow.
how has it come to this? did i put the kettle on? or was it something else? why am i drinking tea? its all so confusing."

Do you see what I mean?
 

Dread_Reaper

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Dec 4, 2008
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Hmm...

First of all, I am a published author. If you're looking to publish I can give you some advice on both full novels and short story publication, but that's for another time.

First to analyze your piece.

Well okay, so you've definitely developed a rambling disjointed style, and while it is exceptionally difficult to read because of your formatting, in itself it is not inexcusably bad (as some on this forum believe it to be). Is it unrefined? Yes, but at its base it is acceptable. I will mention however that if you wrote an entire book in this style of frenetic description any reader will have a heart attack and die before getting passed the prologue, so keep in mind your obvious pacing issues as well. On a deeper sense, being that this is simply an excerpt, we have no inkling as to who is narrating this tale of watery woe, their motivation, etc, so I can't really comment on anything deeper than your style, grammar, and punctuation.

Overall though, anyone can publish a novel, and so can you. You are going to need to find a way to refine your work into something that is readable. If you have any questions, feel free to contact me.

-Dread_Reaper
 

Akas

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Feb 7, 2008
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Okay, so I HAVE to comment on this since I'm actually going through the process of getting published as a writer. The VERY first thing, before I say anything, is to ask yourself this question: Why do you want to get published? All I'm going to say about this is if you're thinking it'll make you rich and famous, don't delude yourself. There's a reason why you the "starving writer" stereotype is so prevalent: it's hard work trying to make it as a writer. If you're doing this for love of writing, then it's fine, but don't think it's easy to become the next (J.K. Rowling/J.R.R. Tolkien/whoever).

One thing that I'd say you do is read your work aloud after you finish. One, you'll always need to edit your work if you want ANYONE to see it (you want to be seen as a professional in and out of public view). Two, you'll catch things that don't really sound right. And three, you'll see if the "image" you want to create works.

Nanowrimo is a great tool for aspiring writers (I'm a 5-time winner, actually), but it just finished. Look it up next year (www.nanowrimo.org), or see if others want to form a writing group to keep each other motivated (and preferably not for editing).

The way you write is a bit frantic, but once refined it can work.

@Dread_Reaper Do you mind if I send you a PM about Query Letters and the like? I'd like to know more about the process (more than what I've read), and I'd like help from a published writer if you have the time.
 

jasoncyrus

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Sep 11, 2008
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Well as an inspiring author also, looked up various agents etc, co-author is mad about getting everything right and polished so its getting worked and reworded a lot.

Firstly: write something GOOD.

Now am not saying this is bad. Just not GOOD. It's average, mediocre. Dread_repear has worded it quite well, but i prefer the blunt instrument approach as thats what helped me realise what makes incredible writing.

thoughts and emotions are key. You've laid the ground work in a semi decent way but you need to build upon it. Make it into a sky scraper of desperation and immersion that makes the reader feel like they are actually THERE. Imagine yourself in that position, colour the character with your emotions. Have him thinking of things other than how hes about to metaphorically molested by the water around him.

Think about what sound track would suit this scene well, it helps to give more flow to the writing and to plan where it's going better.

EDIT: Also, don't aspire to be rowling...she has abused the concept of magic =.= her villians are rubbish, a decent warlock would've dropped a rafter on the kid and turned him into street grease. Amatuerish in my view.

Tolkien and Pratchett however, are kings of fantasy and magic.
 

mkb07a

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Oct 11, 2008
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First off, I will go ahead and say that, really, the particular motivation behind the writing style isn't bad. It has the potential to be done well (see Hubert Selby, Jr.'s work), but in this case, it lacks momentum. I got about halfway through it pretty quickly, but the second half I had to really commit to reading. A first-person series of thoughts can be done quite well, but in this case, it's lacking in emotional and credibility. I'm going to echo jasoncyrus and say that what would work better is a better sense of immersion- that's the writing that hooks you in because you feel like YOU'RE in the water, YOU'RE fighting for your life, etc, etc...

Better descriptions would've helped, too. Just saying that the water was salty is generic and unoriginal, and I'm not quite sure why "No bleach in the water. Just salt. What kind of ocean was this?" makes any sense. What does bleach have to do with the ocean?

If it helps any, read it outloud. That would help with the pacing (as well and remove about 3/4 of the periods you have and improve grammar), and would give you a better sense of what you're trying to convey. I see what you're trying to do, but it could be done better. Reread it and ask yourself what you wanted to convey; finally, don't just upload a short story without previewing it first. I too am a writer, and refuse to allow anyone to read my work until I've done as much as I can to assure myself that it doesn't suck.

Be your own worst critic. It helps.
implodingMan said:
By the way, do you listen to Muse?
I resent that. Stephanie Meyer has ruined Muse fans who write. I hate that woman, not only for what she's done to literature and feminism, but for saying that Muse, my favorite band in the entire world, inspired her series of absolute rubbish.
 

Dread_Reaper

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Dec 4, 2008
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Akas said:
@Dread_Reaper Do you mind if I send you a PM about Query Letters and the like? I'd like to know more about the process (more than what I've read), and I'd like help from a published writer if you have the time.
You got it dude. Fire away.

jasoncyrus said:
Dread_repear has worded it quite well, but i prefer the blunt instrument approach as thats what helped me realise what makes incredible writing.
Heh, it had better be eloquent, otherwise I suspect I may have seriously misjudged my choice of vocation...

But your suggestions are all good, especially the ones about reading aloud and playing music. You really can't appreciate the flow of a piece until you've verbally read it aloud, to other people if possible, because they can catch things that your mind will naturally omit due to your familiarity with your own work. Yes, this means people will be treated to a grossly unrefined version of your work, but a little humiliation is a small price to pay for a better final product.

The second is music. Finding the proper music for different situations definitely allows you to enter the right mood. Personally, since I often write stories from restricted character perspectives as opposed to 3rd person omnipotent view point, I designed unique playlists for each of my characters to truly immerse myself in their psyches.

Good luck my friend, and remember most of all, DON'T BE DISCOURAGED. Writing is an iterative process fraught with calamity and frustration, and is most certainly not for the impatient. Persevere, and you may just have a chance at publication.

-Dread_Reaper

P.S. alwaysrockon, I friended you, so feel free to PM with any questions you may have.
 

implodingMan

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Apr 9, 2008
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mkb07a said:
I resent that. Stephanie Meyer has ruined Muse fans who write. I hate that woman, not only for what she's done to literature and feminism, but for saying that Muse, my favorite band in the entire world, inspired her series of absolute rubbish.
If you weren't too busy being offended, you might have noticed that he replied "yes" to my query. I asked him because one of his passages is "All hopes and expectations. Black holes. Revelations", which is basically a word for word transcript of a part of one of their songs. I have no idea who Stephanie Meyer is.
 

curlycrouton

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Jul 13, 2008
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Voodoopigs said:
If you want to be an author I would start by getting the punctuation on your title right first
I noticed that as well.
And this:

jasoncyrus said:
Well as an inspiring author also
A bit pompous don't you think? +ahem+

EDIT:
jasoncyrus said:
Well as an inspiring author also, looked up various agents etc, co-author is mad about getting everything right and polished so its getting worked and reworded a lot.

Firstly: write something GOOD.

Now am not saying this is bad. Just not GOOD. It's average, mediocre. Dread_repear has worded it quite well, but i prefer the blunt instrument approach as thats what helped me realise what makes incredible writing.

thoughts and emotions are key. You've laid the ground work in a semi decent way but you need to build upon it. Make it into a sky scraper of desperation and immersion that makes the reader feel like they are actually THERE. Imagine yourself in that position, colour the character with your emotions. Have him thinking of things other than how hes about to metaphorically molested by the water around him.

Think about what sound track would suit this scene well, it helps to give more flow to the writing and to plan where it's going better.

EDIT: Also, don't aspire to be rowling...she has abused the concept of magic =.= her villians are rubbish, a decent warlock would've dropped a rafter on the kid and turned him into street grease. Amatuerish in my view.

Tolkien and Pratchett however, are kings of fantasy and magic.
A quick tip, if you are an aspiring writer, then you might want to use correct grammar. I can see a lot of sentences starting in the lower case, and a lot of missing apostrophes, things like that.

Otherwise, good luck in your ventures.
 

PedroSteckecilo

Mexican Fugitive
Feb 7, 2008
6,727
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Voodoopigs said:
If you want to be an author I would start by getting the punctuation on your title right first
Now now, the kid came for help, not insults. But it is important to note that if you cannot grasp basic things like "I'm" or "I am" you might want to reconsider your career choice. For the most part though spelling correction is one of the reasons most Pro-Authors have Editors.