"I'm Bi"

[smallthemouse]

... two extreme black and white dichotomies like gender...

That's to say you can ONLY be a "he" or a "she"? What about those who prefer to be an "it", or accept either pronoun? There are very few things that are 100% Black and White, outside of the visible spectrum. Gender isn't completely one way or the other.

Those instances are way too rare to count. If you want to include those, then wheres the group of people who are extremely inclined toward conjoined twins? I assume you're referring to hermaphrodites by the way.

 

[Goldenkitten01]

I agree with the whole anonymous thing gives you freedom. You probably have people in relatively equal numbers who are legitimately bi and those who are just trying to stick out. But I also think it's worth pointing out there's another group perhaps not being considered, one I am part of, the unsure. The people who know they are attracted to the opposite gender, but aren't sure about the same.

Maybe they have found themselves attracted to erotic content of the same sex, or someone in real life, but have never actually engaged in the act in real life. This leaves them in a confusing position of sexuality but the longer you dwell in this state the more convinced you become you are, but also the less likely you are to ever explore it in real life. And of course most straight people tell me they think the simply thought of attraction makes you officially gay/bi even if you never engage in it.

I've sometimes made the "bi" statement despite no real-life experience because it's a good way to get into a conversation about sexuality. If you state you're straight oftentimes actual bi and gay individuals will treat you as an outsider during the conversation. But state you're bi and they're far more open. This can go a long way toward understanding your own feelings.

Of course tread carefully on whose word you take as the internet is full of IDIOTS, but you can generally tell the difference between a legitimatly helpful individual and a moron/troll/liar after a few posts (or one in the case of true fools).

Take and expand upon that as you wish.

 

[Dunvi]

... two extreme black and white dichotomies like gender...

That's to say you can ONLY be a "he" or a "she"? What about those who prefer to be an "it", or accept either pronoun? There are very few things that are 100% Black and White, outside of the visible spectrum. Gender isn't completely one way or the other.

Those instances are way too rare to count. If you want to include those, then wheres the group of people who are extremely inclined toward conjoined twins? I assume you're referring to hermaphrodites by the way.

Actually, I think it was a reference to transgender.

 

[Frozen Donkey Wheel2]

Man, what's with all the confusion over bi people recently? Why SHOULDN'T they be bi?

And the reason you see more on the internet then you do in real life(this should be common sense) is because the number of people posting on the Escapist is waaay bigger then the group of people you know personally.

 

[WildSeraph]

Those instances are way too rare to count. If you want to include those, then wheres the group of people who are extremely inclined toward conjoined twins? I assume you're referring to hermaphrodites by the way.

Oh, you were talking about sex, not gender. I was going to mention my male best friend, who's a 50/50 cross-dresser and prefers to be considered a boy or girl depending on what "he" feels like at the time, but if you meant "sex" when you said "gender", then that's a moot point.

 

[justnotcricket]

I sort of know what you're getting at - it's technically the same for everything that society perhaps finds 'different' though.
Some people will use this to gain attention, some people will be telling the truth and *still* use it to gain attention, others will mention it only when relevant, and still others will be oppressed and trapped by society's opinion and seek to hide their true nature.

I did know a girl once who was (or claimed to be) first lesbian, then bisexual. This wouldn't have even registered with me (be who you are =) except that she was really in your face with it. First she pushed her lesbian sexuality into people's faces, then when people got used to it she upped the stakes by stressing that she was both Catholic and lesbian (*gasp*!) and when that got old she started going on about how she was Catholic and *bisexual*.

I personally didn't care what she was, so long as she was happy, but she really was very much in your face with it, to the point where she'd start half her sentences with some comment about it. To this day I don't know if she was telling the truth or not, or whether she was just insecure about it, or whether she was trying to unnerve people so she could accuse them of being homophobic...who knows.

At the end of the day, it doesn't really matter, because whatever people are, it is up to them to learn to be comfortable in themselves, whatever shape or inclination that may be. =) I wouldn't expend energy worrying about whether or not someone is telling the truth when they say they're bi.

 

[Riobux]

Personally, I think the contrary happens here. I think people are more likely to share their perceived sexuality (sure, they may be wrong, but it's no fault of their own) here because they're not only anonymous but this is a website that is usually more serious than most other websites I go to. I understand the logic, after all it does happen among teenagers, just it doesn't happen here as far as I know.

 

[Akytalusia]

anonymity just makes things easier to discuss. it's not that there is more here than there, it's that there is more here openly admitting something than there.

 

[feycreature]

... two extreme black and white dichotomies like gender...

That's to say you can ONLY be a "he" or a "she"? What about those who prefer to be an "it", or accept either pronoun? There are very few things that are 100% Black and White, outside of the visible spectrum. Gender isn't completely one way or the other.

Thanks, I was going to say that but you beat me to it. Even when people do take one particular pronoun and gender grouping you get soo much variation in actual behaviour. Physically there are curvy men and angular or muscular women or men who shave or trim all their hair and women who shave none of theirs and with the trans communities added in you get men with "female" parts and women with "male" parts both of whom identify firmly as their mental gender regardless of what's in their pants. Both sex and gender get pretty amazingly diverse when you start to look at what's actually out there.

 

[PurplePlatypus]

Think of it this way.

It?s the internet, there?s anonymity, there?s a wider pool to get responses from than you would find in your everyday life, not to mention people respond to forum topics more if it relates to them. On top of that, bisexuality is quite a much wider definition than the other two, it has much more of the spectrum under its belt. Add in a bunch of teens still trying to figure things out and tah dah.

Some people might be lying, I don?t see why they would want to but sure; I don?t think there are too many people claiming to be bisexual however.

 

[smallthemouse]

... two extreme black and white dichotomies like gender...

That's to say you can ONLY be a "he" or a "she"? What about those who prefer to be an "it", or accept either pronoun? There are very few things that are 100% Black and White, outside of the visible spectrum. Gender isn't completely one way or the other.

Thanks, I was going to say that but you beat me to it. Even when people do take one particular pronoun and gender grouping you get soo much variation in actual behaviour. Physically there are curvy men and angular or muscular women or men who shave or trim all their hair and women who shave none of theirs and with the trans communities added in you get men with "female" parts and women with "male" parts both of whom identify firmly as their mental gender regardless of what's in their pants. Both sex and gender get pretty amazingly diverse when you start to look at what's actually out there.

Ok look the amount of people doing this is minuscule compared to the whole, and by black and white I mean you have a hole or a stick, theres no going around it unless you are born with both or neither, or undergo surgery, in which case you would fall into the negligible category. A straight man is not going to engage in sexual acts (knowingly) with a feminine man 99% of the time. Theres exceptions to everything, but when theres so few, you don't include them in an analysis, unless you want to make a discussion about this subject specifically. This was simply about bisexuality, and I got lots of responses and I thank you for your thoughts. I'm done.

 

[similar.squirrel]

I have seen people in real life purporting to be bisexual in order to seem unique [the emo/scene kid fad a few years ago was particularly notorious for this], so I'd be naturally sceptical about people saying it online. On the other hand, I don't really care.

Still, there is a difference between fawning over Brian Molko and engaging in anal sex. I do the former, but I really don't wish to engage in the latter. I think that makes me straight, more or less.

 

[WildSeraph]

Ok look the amount of people doing this is minuscule compared to the whole, and by black and white I mean you have a hole or a stick, theres no going around it unless you are born with both or neither, or undergo surgery, in which case you would fall into the negligible category. A straight man is not going to engage in sexual acts (knowingly) with a feminine man 99% of the time. Theres exceptions to everything, but when theres so few, you don't include them in an analysis, unless you want to make a discussion about this subject specifically. This was simply about bisexuality, and I got lots of responses and I thank you for your thoughts. I'm done.

Look, the only problem here is that you mistook the word "gender" with the word "sex". So I thought you were talking about males who considered themselves a girl, and vice versa. Had I known you meant transsexuals were negligible, and not transgender, this wouldn't have happened.

 

[WildSeraph]

I don't think true bisexuality is common at all. I'd say it's very rare.

To me, bisexual means equally attracted to both genders - meaning active seeking of sex with them. Equally. No preference one way or the other. At all.

The 'I'd have sex with [insert same gender here]' type person, is simply admitting to finding some of their own gender attractive.

Careful with the use of 'sex' and 'gender', there. We've established this.

Also, if bisexuality only meant you had to like both men and women exactly equally, what would we call those who have a slight preference? I prefer guys a little bit more than girls, but I'm still attracted to girls, so I can't be called gay.

I'm sorry for arguing with everyone here, I'm just kind of obsessive about setting everyone straight (pun intended). I'm done now. Good night.

 

[Andy of Comix Inc]

You're right. I'm not bisexual.

I'm omnisexual [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pansexuality].

But no-one - I say NO ONE!! - understands the concept behind it

Wow, people don't understand pansexuality? I probably shouldn't be as surprised as I am, in retrospect ... but what's not to get?

In confuses them because it's so similar to bisexuality. "So you're bi." "No, I'm pan." "But you like men and women?" "I can, yes." "SO YOU'RE BI!" *sigh*

...also, I tell a lot of people and they think it's a fetish for, like, kitchen pans. No palm big enough for my face, I tell you.

 

[feycreature]

... two extreme black and white dichotomies like gender...

That's to say you can ONLY be a "he" or a "she"? What about those who prefer to be an "it", or accept either pronoun? There are very few things that are 100% Black and White, outside of the visible spectrum. Gender isn't completely one way or the other.

Thanks, I was going to say that but you beat me to it. Even when people do take one particular pronoun and gender grouping you get soo much variation in actual behaviour. Physically there are curvy men and angular or muscular women or men who shave or trim all their hair and women who shave none of theirs and with the trans communities added in you get men with "female" parts and women with "male" parts both of whom identify firmly as their mental gender regardless of what's in their pants. Both sex and gender get pretty amazingly diverse when you start to look at what's actually out there.

Ok look the amount of people doing this is minuscule compared to the whole, and by black and white I mean you have a hole or a stick, theres no going around it unless you are born with both or neither, or undergo surgery, in which case you would fall into the negligible category. A straight man is not going to engage in sexual acts (knowingly) with a feminine man 99% of the time. Theres exceptions to everything, but when theres so few, you don't include them in an analysis, unless you want to make a discussion about this subject specifically. This was simply about bisexuality, and I got lots of responses and I thank you for your thoughts. I'm done.

Since we're talking specifically about classifying orientation based on organs: the people in between being rarer than people who can be consistently classified one or the other does not make sex a black and white dichotomy. It makes it a scale with most people crowded to one side or the other. I'm not going to dump all the data that doesn't fit the trend, and even a small percentage of the number of people on earth is still a pretty big number on its own.

Besides, to me the difference between male and female genitals is just as superficial as the difference between blonde and black hair, since this thread is about bisexuality. I won't say gender is unimportant, it influences a lot of how people live their lives. Identifying as a woman matters to me. But I find the shape of someone's genitals a minor detail. I have to take it into account for logistical purposes (bringing it closer to the height or physical fitness characteristics, perhaps), obviously the same methods don't work on both, but it's not particularly important and to fixate on it seems bizarre to me. Yet that's the normal way.

Anyway, I'll drop it now I promise. But I wasn't clear that you were talking specifically about sex so I couldn't specify what my version of bisexual was along those lines. Now I have, so it's sleep time.

 

[Denamic]

Bisexuality and homosexuality is far more common than you'd think.
The reason you see more people claiming to be bisexual and homosexual on the internet is simply because of the anonymity.

People's sexuality is an incredibly important thing in their life.
Imagine the frustration feeling that you 'have to' keep it a secret from everyone you know.
The internet simply provide an outlet where you can simply 'come out' and confess without any social repercussions.
Except for the occasional religious homophobe, but those are not that different from the everyday troll anyway.

 

[Hiraeth]

You know, in general society, people don't go around exclaiming their sexualities. We all talk about our "gaydar" but you know what? That's all BS. There's kids who you are completely sure are straight who fall somewhere on the gay spectrum and haven't bothered to tell you. Is there any reason to, after all? Furthermore, it's safer to admit it anonymously than in RL. I will say that I'm bi online, but in RL, when I'm asked (and I have been asked), I avoid the question. Most of the time, I stay silent, make sly little grins, or point to my boyfriend as an answer, depending on who asked.

In an anonymous forum, people ask questions that don't get asked in RL, and people answer in ways they don't in RL. It's really that simple.

This thread is not meant to offend, please don't take it that way, I?m just curious as to what you think.

Look, I get that you meant well, but your approach fails. Rather than assuming that everyone else is wrong, you might want to reconsider your own approach to your question.

I understand but there is potentially an equal amount of people pretending BECAUSE they are anonymous as well. I'm not singling you out.

What I'm trying to say i guess is that i feel that to be bisexual, you must have tried both ways and liked it at least once before you go telling everyone that you're bisexual and this is how bisexuals are, and that there must be far more bisexual posters here that have not done this than have.

edit: and if im wrong in my definition, ok fine, im still not going to discriminate, and since everyone is saying it, "i don't care!!! lets not discuss anything on a discussion forum!"

Well then to completely screw up everything you just said, you are explicitly excluding me, because I have had exactly 1 significant other and furthermore that significant other is a heterosexual relationship. So I'm probably just deluding myself with my curiosity.

There's more to it than that. Many gays know they're gay before they ever have a sexual encounter of any sort, let alone a homosexual one. Why would it be any different for bi?

To add to this, if I said I was straight, would a demonstration of my straightness be demanded? Is everyone asexual until they've participated in some kind of sexual behaviour? And when exactly do I get to be bi? How many bases do I have to reach to get my bi card? How many girls do I have to reach said bases with? If I get to a certain amount more girls than guys do I have to move from bi-town to gay-ville? Does that also mean that in order to confirm that they're straight, someone has to engage in homosexual behaviour and not like it?

Why is it not enough that I know who I'm attracted to? It seems to be enough for everyone else.

 

[Awesomeness]

i think for people to claim that they're bi-sexual they need to have had a sexual relationship with both genders, i'm a guy who thinks about other guys (and girls) but i can't call myself bi-sexual (in my opinion) because i haven't had sex with both genders.
i do however think about sleeping with both guys and girls but i still refer to myself as being bi-curious.
most of my friends think i'll grow out of it being that i'm only sixteen, but honestly i don't think i will.
i know a few people who are bi-sexual, a girl i hooked up with at a party now has a long-term relationship with another girl.
But i do believe that it is easier for girls to claim they're bi and get away with it than guys, probably because alot of guys will ussually be disgusted (maybe not for long, or very much) if a friend claims they're gay, but if a girl says they're lesbian most guys think it's pretty hot.
Just my opinions on the whole gay/straight/bi discussion.

 

[Xaio30]

I think everyone are bisexual at some percentage.