Hey guys!
Before I start my mini-rant, I'd like to say thanks to everyone who responded to me in my previous thread about the friends I have; the advice you all gave me was incredibly helpful, thank you! Anyway, getting back to the topic at hand, I'm in a bit of a slump. See, last semester in school, I basically flunked out of my major. I'm/I was an Early Childhood Education major and in my college, in order to stay in this major you must have a grade of B or higher in all of your education classes. I was able to get a B in one of the classes, but I received a D in the other class. Technically, I was supposed to get an F in that second class, but the professor felt bad about me failing a class I paid money to be in so she gave me a D so I could still receive the credits.
Anyway, the point here is that I flunked out of my major, and I wasn't even a full year in it yet. And, it... it kind of broke me in a way. Like, I was always on the fence about being a teacher even when I first declared this major, but I always thought I had a choice to drop out of it on my own. What I mean is, I always thought I had the option to change majors if I ever decided that teaching wasn't for me, I never thought I'd be kicked out though...
After all this happened, I have absolutely no idea what to do in college anymore and, to an extent, in life. I always thought I'd just finish getting my Education Degree then get a job as a teacher in a Special Ed school or something. Now, I have no plans for the future and, to be honest, it's terrifying. Next semester, I'm taking easy classes that I "know I can pass," but really, I'm just not feeling confident enough to attempt trying anything outside of my comfort zone at the moment. I just know if I do, I'm probably going to fail again.
A prime example I have of stepping out of my comfort zone and failing is the job I'm currently doing this Summer. I was hired at a Summer camp as the archery specialist, which is something I've never done before in my life. I was incredibly worried I'd screw all this up somehow, but my boss sent me to an archery training course so I could learn the ropes and all that good stuff. Once I got back from the course and camp started, I felt fairly confident I'd be able to do this without screwing up. Lo and behold, the first week of camp flies by and none of the kids have shot their friends with arrows or themselves. I felt pretty good until the original archery specialist from last Summer came by and yelled at me in front of one of my groups of kids about the things I was doing wrong. Sure, it was small, nit-picky stuff he called me out on, but like I said earlier, I'm already feeling gun-shy about trying new things and stepping out of my comfort zone. To hear the original, much better archery instructor, that all my kids ask for before I start teaching them how to shoot, call me out and say I'm not doing my job right brought my mood down even further. I seriously contemplated quitting my job there and then, thinking that the camp could do a lot better then me.
So, that's my story. Sorry it turned into a bit of a rant there near the end, I was actually going to make two different threads about me flunking out of my major and another asking you all if I should quit my job based on the story I wrote above. I don't really know what I expect you all to say or do after reading all this. Honestly, this has just been weighing down on my mind pretty much since the Summer started and nobody in my house really cares about how I feel. They're more concerned about me choosing another major right away so I won't become a college drop-out or some such nonsense like that... Anyway, thank you everyone for listening. Again, sorry this rant ended up being as long as it did.
Before I start my mini-rant, I'd like to say thanks to everyone who responded to me in my previous thread about the friends I have; the advice you all gave me was incredibly helpful, thank you! Anyway, getting back to the topic at hand, I'm in a bit of a slump. See, last semester in school, I basically flunked out of my major. I'm/I was an Early Childhood Education major and in my college, in order to stay in this major you must have a grade of B or higher in all of your education classes. I was able to get a B in one of the classes, but I received a D in the other class. Technically, I was supposed to get an F in that second class, but the professor felt bad about me failing a class I paid money to be in so she gave me a D so I could still receive the credits.
Anyway, the point here is that I flunked out of my major, and I wasn't even a full year in it yet. And, it... it kind of broke me in a way. Like, I was always on the fence about being a teacher even when I first declared this major, but I always thought I had a choice to drop out of it on my own. What I mean is, I always thought I had the option to change majors if I ever decided that teaching wasn't for me, I never thought I'd be kicked out though...
After all this happened, I have absolutely no idea what to do in college anymore and, to an extent, in life. I always thought I'd just finish getting my Education Degree then get a job as a teacher in a Special Ed school or something. Now, I have no plans for the future and, to be honest, it's terrifying. Next semester, I'm taking easy classes that I "know I can pass," but really, I'm just not feeling confident enough to attempt trying anything outside of my comfort zone at the moment. I just know if I do, I'm probably going to fail again.
A prime example I have of stepping out of my comfort zone and failing is the job I'm currently doing this Summer. I was hired at a Summer camp as the archery specialist, which is something I've never done before in my life. I was incredibly worried I'd screw all this up somehow, but my boss sent me to an archery training course so I could learn the ropes and all that good stuff. Once I got back from the course and camp started, I felt fairly confident I'd be able to do this without screwing up. Lo and behold, the first week of camp flies by and none of the kids have shot their friends with arrows or themselves. I felt pretty good until the original archery specialist from last Summer came by and yelled at me in front of one of my groups of kids about the things I was doing wrong. Sure, it was small, nit-picky stuff he called me out on, but like I said earlier, I'm already feeling gun-shy about trying new things and stepping out of my comfort zone. To hear the original, much better archery instructor, that all my kids ask for before I start teaching them how to shoot, call me out and say I'm not doing my job right brought my mood down even further. I seriously contemplated quitting my job there and then, thinking that the camp could do a lot better then me.
So, that's my story. Sorry it turned into a bit of a rant there near the end, I was actually going to make two different threads about me flunking out of my major and another asking you all if I should quit my job based on the story I wrote above. I don't really know what I expect you all to say or do after reading all this. Honestly, this has just been weighing down on my mind pretty much since the Summer started and nobody in my house really cares about how I feel. They're more concerned about me choosing another major right away so I won't become a college drop-out or some such nonsense like that... Anyway, thank you everyone for listening. Again, sorry this rant ended up being as long as it did.
