im incredibly worried

[idodo35]

so right now im waiting for a call/txt/facebook chat thingy from a close friend (and love interest and its complicated...) updating me where she is
now this is the situation
she is going to this fitness training thing which in it of itself fun for her and not anything to worry about now the problem is this:
one of the guys she goes with had a thing with her a while ago and when she asked him to stop "messing around" (u know what i mean) he didnt and things got prety far. then she told him she doesnt want to be romanticly involved with him and a week later they went back from the last time they were on said fitness training he shared a ride with her asked to stick around and things got even farther now this time she told me herself and this guy she isnt going to be allone with him anymore and now she isnt answering calls (the lesson began an hour and a half ago) now i might (probably) just paranoid but im as worried as fuck...
just wanted to get it out of my system so...
you can put advice tell similar storys or whatever just wanted to get it out...
thats it folks!
update for those of you who gives a fuck
it is now 22:07 she comes back home (according to her sister) at 23:00 i left her notes to call me however i could and am worried out of my ass

 

[HardkorSB]

Sounds like she's the kind of girl who will tell you that she despises the guy right after she had sex with him. You know, the type that made the phrase "When a woman says NO, she really means YES" come to existence.

 

[idodo35]

snip

actually she had been assulted in her past (its a long long story) and she does say no and he just keeps going it makes my blood boil...

snip

see above

 

[Jonluw]

Uh.
I have some trouble understanding you, but if what you're saying is that this guy is sexually assaulting her or refusing to leave her alone after having been told off several times, why not try filing a restraining order or something?

 

[Jubbert]

Why is she going with him to the fitness center or whatever at all if he's continually making unwanted advances? Christ, I think we need to teach people HOW to say "no" as well as just to say no.

 

[b3nn3tt]

Yeah, I'm with the others who aren't really sure what it is that's going on here. If he's just a bit pushy, then she can just keep telling him no, eventually he'll get the message. If he's sexually assaulting her, she needs to report it to the police. However, if she is allowing things to go further and further between the two of them then I have no sympathy. And again, she should just tell him no.

 

[Smooth Operator]

Ok if she actually feels threatened by him then why does she keep hanging around him, I'm pretty sure she can arrange for a different schedule or even switch to a different place...
If it's actually that serious or is it some drama to push your buttons... some girls do enjoy social drama games rather alot.

 

[The Funslinger]

Well unless you are trying to say he repeatedly sexually assaulted her and she didn't report im to the police for some foolish reason, it sounds more like she doesn't want to be romantic with him, but she does want his body and the "thing" goes both ways. Every time it goes further...sounds like she will sleep with him eventually and she is really encouraging him in that direction.

Sounds like she's the kind of girl who will tell you that she despises the guy right after she had sex with him. You know, the type that made the phrase "When a woman says NO, she really means YES" come to existence.

What I think he's implying, and from what I've seen of various scum of the earth, is that the guy is slowly making advances on an uncomfortable girl. I'll use the story (no names) of what happened to a friend of mine to explain it (and also fulfill the second part of the thread).

My friend, let's call her Jenny, had gone out with this guy in our school year when we were about 13. He got a bloated head, and dumped her, thinking "oh, I must be God's gift to women, so I should do 'better'". At least that's the impression I got from knowing him. Anyway, that obviously didn't pan out as he'd expected. After a few months, he started trying to flirt with her, and asked her out a couple of times. Jenny, of course was like "no, you're a dick." That went on for a couple of months. Then he started groping her. Small things at first, like he'd brush past her and his hand kept grazing her boob or ass. Then it gradually escalated, and in the general messing around people do outdoors in summer weather, for instance playing a contact tackling game we call "bulldogs", he would full on grope her.

His mates tended to be the only/majority of people in the immediate vicinity, and they turned a blind eye, sometimes "pitched in". It was at this point I started becoming friends with her (no, this isn't an attempted romance sort of thing, we were just friends) and at first I didn't really know what was going on, due to spending most of my breaks in the courtyard or library with a group of friends with my nerdy interests. "Jenny" started confiding in me about this, and I encouraged her standing up for herself. I spent more time in the field, and I'd intervene if I saw people start doing shit. The field people in the upper years (at this point we were 14, going on 15) went wasn't monitored by teachers, and these guys (particularly the main guy doing it) were good bullshitters. The one time anything happened near the teachers, all they apparently saw was "Jenny" slapping the guy, and told her off. When winter rolled around, it started getting really bad, before ending up in this scenario: The snow was bad, and they were the only two who had bothered to stay behind for the after school science catch up. "Jenny" because she really needed to, and the guy because "Jenny" stayed. The teacher was in and out of the room, and in those periods, he started nagging her. Saying they should date/fuck, following her around the room when she tried to sit somewhere else, etc. Of course he'd stop when the biology teacher came back in. When she left them last, it was with the understanding that she was properly leaving, and that they were to go to the office to call their respective parents for pick up. "Jenny" called her parents, who told her they were going to be about an hour due to the snow. That was when she called me, practically in tears because she was scared the guy was going to do something, but I couldn't get to her, either. That was when he came in, having used his mobile to phone his dad. I won't go into the detail she did when she told me about it in a tearful outburst, but he raped her. Right there in the school's office, and would later say (right to her face) that she had wanted it. I couldn't do damn well anything about it and I still feel so guilty.

 

[Vanguard_Ex]

so right now im waiting for a call/txt/facebook chat thingy from a close friend (and love interest and its complicated...) updating me where she is
now this is the situation
she is going to this fitness training thing which in it of itself fun for her and not anything to worry about now the problem is this:
one of the guys she goes with had a thing with her a while ago and when she asked him to stop "messing around" (u know what i mean) he didnt and things got prety far. then she told him she doesnt want to be romanticly involved with him and a week later they went back from the last time they were on said fitness training he shared a ride with her asked to stick around and things got even farther now this time she told me herself and this guy she isnt going to be allone with him anymore and now she isnt answering calls (the lesson began an hour and a half ago) now i might (probably) just paranoid but im as worried as fuck...
just wanted to get it out of my system so...
you can put advice tell similar storys or whatever just wanted to get it out...
thats it folks!
update for those of you who gives a fuck
it is now 22:07 she comes back home (according to her sister) at 23:00 i left her notes to call me however i could and am worried out of my ass

Chiiill, find something to take your mind off it and be cool. Trust me, I have made an ass out of myself so, so many times for worrying too much. Just show her that you trust her and wait and see dude, trust me on this.

 

[Giftfromme]

Sounds like she's the kind of girl who will tell you that she despises the guy right after she had sex with him. You know, the type that made the phrase "When a woman says NO, she really means YES" come to existence.

That's pretty much it, at least from the information given. Probably doesn't want to come across as easy, but still wants to have sex. But yeah if it was an issue she would do something about it, but since it's really not, then she will continue seeing this guy

 

[The Funslinger]

Well unless you are trying to say he repeatedly sexually assaulted her and she didn't report im to the police for some foolish reason, it sounds more like she doesn't want to be romantic with him, but she does want his body and the "thing" goes both ways. Every time it goes further...sounds like she will sleep with him eventually and she is really encouraging him in that direction.

Sounds like she's the kind of girl who will tell you that she despises the guy right after she had sex with him. You know, the type that made the phrase "When a woman says NO, she really means YES" come to existence.

What I think he's implying, and from what I've seen of various scum of the earth, is that the guy is slowly making advances on an uncomfortable girl. I'll use the story (no names) of what happened to a friend of mine to explain it (and also fulfill the second part of the thread).

My friend, let's call her Jenny, had gone out with this guy in our school year when we were about 13. .

If he is talking about little children I'd understand more. But that wasn't apparent from his OP. I find it unlikely a 13 year old would be coming home at 23:00. However, if it was such a young child HE should be phoning the police to report the situation or reporting the situation at least to whatever adults were responsible for looking after the children at this event.

His lack of details does make it pretty much impossible to reach any favorable conclusion to line up with his view.

No, the people I'm referring to dated around the age of thirteen. The occasion in question, they were fifteen, or so. In any case, it's the sort of situation I took from his implications.

 

[emeraldrafael]

take a Valium.

...

But seriously, if you're worried she's cheating (what it sonds like to me) approach her, but this constant updating and overbearing isnt going to help whether she is or isnt.