Imaginary Diseases Attack

[Puzzles]

I realised the other day that I have a problem, a problem that many of you probably also suffer.

I've given this disease a name, for the sake of this thread, and I've called it Foot-in-Mouth Disease.

Whenever I'm invited to meet new people by my girlfriend or other, I always end up having a couple of drinks, and in my drunken loutish state, I always manage to offend someone.

I was at a cancer awareness thingo a little back, and made a cancer joke. I always make cancer jokes, but my brain can't seem to switch off it's 'stupid' lobe, so I went on commiting this faux pas, and have not heard from the hostess since.

I do this kind of thing frequently. And I think the classier the place I go to, the more of a fool I act.

Curse the government for not recognising my crippling Foot-in-Mouth Disease, it truely is embarrasing.

Give your imaginary diseases a name, and share them!

 

[El Poncho]

Isn't that already the name of a real disease?

Uh I call it awesome disease, I would tell you what it is but you couldn't handle the awesome

 

[Cpt_Oblivious]

In my drunken loutish state, I always manage to offend someone.

You need to be drunk to do this?

 

[TheNumber1Zero]

Voce Risum Irritatumitis.

Similar to yours, the more the evening goes on, the more annoying my voice gets, until by the end I'm a whining, nasal wreck.

Kudos for the fancy name you gave it.

Whenever someone touches me it begins to itch at the spot of said contact. It's technically a Phobia to fear beng touched, but i'm not sure why it itchs.
Maybe I'll call it... I got nothin so i'll let someone else have a whack at giving it a name.

 

[Puzzles]

Isn't that already the name of a real disease?

Uh I call it awesome disease, I would tell you what it is but you couldn't handle the awesome

No, silly, you are thinking of Foot-and-Mouth Disease.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foot_and_mouth

I was trying to be clever =P

 

[FalloutJack]

Shiny Object Syndrome. (Appropriately initialed as SOS.)

Subject is given to have a very low attention span - irregardless if there is another diagnosis to cover this or not - no matter what level of intelligence the person has. This leads to eccentric behavior in which the subject well, in fact, be sudden distracted or even captivated by some arbitrary thing which may be described as a Shiny Object.

(EXAMPLE: My sister is quite an intelligent human being, but I did once - on a street corner - say "Hey look. Shiny object." pointing somewhere...and she immediately looked, whereas my reaction would be to probably look at somebody in a puzzled expression.)

 

[Puzzles]

In my drunken loutish state, I always manage to offend someone.

You need to be drunk to do this?

I don't need to be, but it helps. It sure helps.

 

[Cpt_Oblivious]

In my drunken loutish state, I always manage to offend someone.

You need to be drunk to do this?

I don't need to be, but it helps. It sure helps.

Maybe for you, for me it makes no difference. Either way I don't care that someone's offended because I'm at the stage of life where I'm only going to know them for the next year.

 

[DarkPanda XIII]

Technically I've seen this on a bumper once, and figured it suited me well

I suffer from CRS or Can't Remember Shit ^.^

 

[benbenthegamerman]

i suffer from serious ASS (anti-social syndrome)