Initiating Conversation

[Keepeas]

Initiating conversation

Background:
I am someone who doesn't talk much. I think I've gone an entire day with out ever speaking.
Even when I'm around my friends I still speak the least out of anyone.
I have very few friends but the ones I do have are really good friends.
I stick to myself a lot and hardly make conversation. Even if I want to make conversation I usually don't.
I am very shy and socially awkward.

First I noticed a cute girl(around my age) on the bus. (how could I not notice?)
I noticed a few weeks later that she takes the same bus as I do around the same time (almost) every Friday.
I noticed a few weeks later that we both take similar bus routes altogether; They get us to the same place at around the same time.
I also noticed that we both live near each other. (like on the same block)

The Problem:
As you can guess I want to talk to her but....well I don't really know how...
well maybe I do...but I just can seem to get my self to just talk....or I think it's a bad time...or I don't know...
In fact I don't know if I've every started a conversation with someone I don't know...ever...they usually talk to me.
I just want to talk to her...even if it is just to say that "I'm not a creepy stalker. I just live around the corner."

I don't think that asking for help with this will help.
I don't think that responses could help. (Though I hope they do)
I know that I just have to get over this (seemingly) giant "shy barrier".
In fact I was just planning to type this out and keep it to myself...
But I think that I just need to put it out there...if only to make me feel better.

So I guess I'm asking what I can do to stop being so shy.

 

[Kahunaburger]

"Hey, I see you like every day and it feels weird that I don't know you. What's your name?"

But really, the most important advice is to not mentally frame her as the "cute girl." Just talk as you would to a friend or family member. Of course, if you think you have an actual social anxiety thing, as a therapist, not the internets.

 

[Batou667]

I understand why it would seem daunting, but that's because the human brain has a fantastic ability to blow things out of all perspective or proportion.

Talk to her. Some kind of "first-contact" is needed - but keep it light, don't think up some huge, profound and calculated monologue and rehearse it in your head every night before you sleep and then suddenly blurt it out to her one day, just out of nowhere. Keep it simple. First get her to acknowledge that you exist. As you get on the bus, or whatever, give her a smile or a nod and say "Hi" or "Good morning", or whatever comes naturally - try to get a response. Even just a "Hey, how's it going" or "Gee, this weather is shitty, isn't it?" can be an opener.

Take it one step at a time, and don't torture yourself before the event or beat yourself up after the event. Whatever happens is practice for the next time (or the next girl, or the next friend you make, or whatever).

Good luck man, have faith!

 

[Wolf-AUS]

I understand why it would seem daunting, but that's because the human brain has a fantastic ability to blow things out of all perspective or proportion.

Talk to her. Some kind of "first-contact" is needed - but keep it light, don't think up some huge, profound and calculated monologue and rehearse it in your head every night before you sleep and then suddenly blurt it out to her one day, just out of nowhere. Keep it simple. First get her to acknowledge that you exist. As you get on the bus, or whatever, give her a smile or a nod and say "Hi" or "Good morning", or whatever comes naturally - try to get a response. Even just a "Hey, how's it going" or "Gee, this weather is shitty, isn't it?" can be an opener.

Take it one step at a time, and don't torture yourself before the event or beat yourself up after the event. Whatever happens is practice for the next time (or the next girl, or the next friend you make, or whatever).

Good luck man, have faith!

This guys uses some pretty sound logic. If you're exceptionally shy. Begin by striking up a small conversation with her. You don't need to ask her out during your first conversation if you don't feel up to it.

Second or third time your talk to her, ask for her number, or out on a date, or give her yours. The best way to gain confidence is take it in small steps and remember, even if things go pear shaped you'll be better off approaching the next woman who catches your eye, it isn't the be and end all of your dating life if it goes nowhere, you learn.

Have a great day

 

[])rStrangelove]

Great advises here already, so i'm taking the next step: what if she doesnt answer anything? (50-50 chance)

"You don't like to talk much do ya?" - and smile a bit.

and then ..." saw you on this bus couple of times, seems like we have the same destination?"


Try to speak about something you both could have in common ("i never have ideas what to do on a bus, do you?") or what goes through your head right now.