So, I kind of wish there was a more specific sub-forum for this, but here it goes.
For nearly a year now, Ive been working on and off on a pipe dream. An action/rpg where you play as a body-jumping AI in a post-apocalyptic future, the wild card in a conflict between the remnants of humanity, a malicious machine collective, and an alliance of leftover robots. Thematically, its like if Wall-E had to fight Skynet, and it involves subjects like child abuse and neglect, racism, environmentalism, and the whole "Do androids dream of electric sheep?" thing. The "big deal" is that the AI you play as, Cenn, is a blank-slate newborn, thus the title.
What I have so far is concept art and the beginnings of pitch document, along with a well-developed setting and mythology. Ive had a lot of help along the way, particularly from the denizens of /tg/.
http://www.scribd.com/doc/94938989/Lost-Future-Pitch-Document
Everything after the art dump is particularly rough, mind you; needs a lot of re-writes. But I'd love a brutal critique from the escapist community. In particular, I need to know if I'm effectively conveying the concept; I obviously know it back-to-front, and thus can sometimes leave out basic stuff.
What needs adding, what needs changing, and what needs removal? And yes, I know that this is an absurd pipe dream; Ive had a lot of fun just working on it.
Blurb:
The end of the world has come and gone. Life goes on. Humanity picks over the ruins and slowly tries to rebuild, but they are no longer alone.
Autonomous machines share the Lost Future with homo sapiens. New to freedom, guileless, and inquisitive, these emergent sentients are in their infancy as a race, but they learn quickly. Already they repair themselves, improve their hardware and software, and nurture divergent quirks. Relations between the two are strained, and Free Machines face suspicion and accusation as the true tale of theLoss fades from memory.
The suspicion is not unwarranted. Rumors of hostile machines spread fromthe north. Swift, deadly constructs out of an elder's fireside tale, killing or,sometimes, capturing human and machine alike. A scattered humanity arms itself for a battle the machines are already fighting.
Remorseless contraptions of deathstalk the fallow fields and ruined cities yet again, guided by a singular intelligence that brooks no dissent. The those who stand against it call it Network.
Welcome to the Lost Future. C:\dos\run for your life
o-[|||]-o
For nearly a year now, Ive been working on and off on a pipe dream. An action/rpg where you play as a body-jumping AI in a post-apocalyptic future, the wild card in a conflict between the remnants of humanity, a malicious machine collective, and an alliance of leftover robots. Thematically, its like if Wall-E had to fight Skynet, and it involves subjects like child abuse and neglect, racism, environmentalism, and the whole "Do androids dream of electric sheep?" thing. The "big deal" is that the AI you play as, Cenn, is a blank-slate newborn, thus the title.
What I have so far is concept art and the beginnings of pitch document, along with a well-developed setting and mythology. Ive had a lot of help along the way, particularly from the denizens of /tg/.
http://www.scribd.com/doc/94938989/Lost-Future-Pitch-Document
Everything after the art dump is particularly rough, mind you; needs a lot of re-writes. But I'd love a brutal critique from the escapist community. In particular, I need to know if I'm effectively conveying the concept; I obviously know it back-to-front, and thus can sometimes leave out basic stuff.
What needs adding, what needs changing, and what needs removal? And yes, I know that this is an absurd pipe dream; Ive had a lot of fun just working on it.
Blurb:
The end of the world has come and gone. Life goes on. Humanity picks over the ruins and slowly tries to rebuild, but they are no longer alone.
Autonomous machines share the Lost Future with homo sapiens. New to freedom, guileless, and inquisitive, these emergent sentients are in their infancy as a race, but they learn quickly. Already they repair themselves, improve their hardware and software, and nurture divergent quirks. Relations between the two are strained, and Free Machines face suspicion and accusation as the true tale of theLoss fades from memory.
The suspicion is not unwarranted. Rumors of hostile machines spread fromthe north. Swift, deadly constructs out of an elder's fireside tale, killing or,sometimes, capturing human and machine alike. A scattered humanity arms itself for a battle the machines are already fighting.
Remorseless contraptions of deathstalk the fallow fields and ruined cities yet again, guided by a singular intelligence that brooks no dissent. The those who stand against it call it Network.
Welcome to the Lost Future. C:\dos\run for your life
o-[|||]-o